Aibu to think if you want the legal protection of marriage then get married

[Sofabitch]

I was listening to the radio this morning and they were talking about how widows allowance isn't paid to couples that weren't married, even if children are involved.

Aibu to think marriage is essentially the legal joining of people and if you want to be recognised legally and finacially then you should get married.

I guess the supreme court will ultimately decide if I am being unreasonable. But i can't help but think people dont realise the legal security marriage offers and they should.

psi as a responsible financial advisor I feel quite disappointed it has never come up.

Can I just ask. Are your life policies joint, or in trust?

@PoorYorick - good point! Presume because it usually gives rights over each other, and need a moment of declaration.

Getting married would have put me and my daughter in a much more vulnerable position. I owned a house, he didn't, he would have been entitled to half my house if we had married.

There are plenty of times when marriage might not be a good fit for what an individual wants. That's even more of an argument for education.

And, funnily, an argument for marriage ...so that no matter how long you cohabit, you never have to be married if you don't want to be.

Exactly. Thats one point that the "living together is the same as marriage" people can never seem to answer: what of those who don't want to be legally tied together in that way but cohabit long term?

I've been keeping a eye on this thread and after 20years together, 4 DC's together.....we are marrying next month. Just me, OH and the DC's. OH has been suggesting it for a while and reading thru this thread has made my mind up that it is something we need to do as like the title says I need the legal protection of marriage. I know I won't offend anyone by keeping it quiet as my cousin did the exact same and no one bothered.

Tough tits on them, I think it can basically be summed up as. Though actually, a lot of the time when people advance that argument, they haven't realised that some people would be fucked over. There's always the presentation of it as giving rights, which it would, but it would also take them away.

I'm prepared to accept that some people make the argument for automatic acquisition of married status from a place of good faith. Maybe they've carefully weighed all factors and decided the people who don't know should be prioritised over those who do know but don't want. One might disagree, but at least there's a thought process. The people who just think others should lose rights because they're too special to have to actually go to a registry office, or because they can't possibly be expected to either tell or not tell Aunt Maud about it though, they're being dicks.

I had a really interesting conversation with my unconventional (vegan, struggling artist, eco warrior) son yesterday and he astonished me by saying he wouldn't entertain having children without getting married. I thought I knew him!

He said he thought children deserve parents who are as committed to one another as they could possibly be and that means a contract and public declaration. Gobstruck!

YABU in my view. It's 2018.

YABU in my view. It's 2018

How does that make the slightest difference here?

Don't understand that either.

Yes it's 2018, but that doesn't mean the law has suddenly changed so that people who co-habit have the same legal protection/obligations as people who are married.

Pointing out which year we are in isn't the winning argument. Can you explain a bit more?

It's 2018.

Other equally relevant facts would include that today I am drinking coffee from a white mug.

I am drinking fizzy water from a pint glass and watching Loose Women .

Bluelady that’s a great answer from your son!

What is WRONG with him??!!

Guess he's more conventional than I thought! At least in some ways.

Nah, it's 5778. And 1397.

In the Islamic calendar it's 1439.
Again, the emphasis in Islam is the social contract of marriage and the legal ramifications. An Islamic ceremony can look rather business like, though culturally it can also be a swirl that goes on for days.

I didn’t want to get married because of the obvious dodgy history: women as property, wife having no rights over the children etc. I thought no way am I going to enter into an insitution that has done those things. But I did notice that marriage offers certain protections for women with children today, and that this is the trade off we make. I hate monogamy and I hate a lot of things that marriage entails. If I hadn’t wanted children I wouldn’t have got married, would’ve stayed single.

For all the people who are on the 'not yet' fence (myself included) in February at 40 years old I contracted meningitis. My partner thought I was going to die, we have now booked our wedding because I now know it could happen to me. We've built a life together, had children together, contributed to property together. The least we both deserve is the legal protection to recognise that.

On the flip side of that I have just remembered that my financial advisor (I specialise in a different area) did say to me the only way around a certain financial query I had was marriage.