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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think brides often get their dress wrong?

407 replies

FreeMantle · 13/04/2018 18:16

I have always thought this actually but no one else seems to have noticed.
My lovely friends, who pride themselves on dressing very well, seem to chose a dress that doesn't suit them at all. Skinny ones go for the tightest column dress ,so they look like beans. My large busted ones are falling out of massive strapless meringues.
The latest is my size 8/10 cousin who without an inch of fat, has wide hips. So of course she's gone for a full on strapless mermaid. Making her shape look totally out of proportion.
Obviously she'll be beautiful as a bride but why that dress?
I am now looking for one for myself . Despite being short and athletic everyone seems to love a huge ivory fluffy tulle princess type dress on me. I look like a dumpy fungus. It's thin straps and tight bodice totally emphasise my lack of top half. And yes, I'm tempted.

OP posts:
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stayathomegardener · 13/04/2018 21:49

Yes original DH just topping up my wine glass after cooking supper, I'm going nowhere Wink

He actually spotted the dress in the window of a bridal shop in York and I went back six months later secretly to try it on. Total pain for fittings from the South East.

Ellenripleysalienbaby · 13/04/2018 21:50

I got married at the end of the noughties and pretty much every dress out there was a strapless A line number. I remember being on the You and Your Wedding forums a lot (ah memories!) and the women would always post about their dress, how excited they were, how they loved it because it was so unique and then the picture would come up and....... A line strapless dress! Occasionally a fuller skirt.

I do agree there is a bit more variation now, but it does now seem to be a lot of straight up and down with cap sleeves about now. I know, like any other fashion, wedding trends come and go, but it is a shame there isn't more variation so that brides can actually go for what they really like and suits them, rather than just what the shops stock.

LoveInTokyo · 13/04/2018 21:52

I tried on this strapless tulle monstrosity and nearly bought it because it was so much fun to wear Grin

To think brides often get their dress wrong?
MirriVan · 13/04/2018 21:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Touchmybum · 13/04/2018 21:54

I loved my wedding dress in 1990, and I still do. I obviously wouldn't wear exactly the same dress now, as it's dated, as all dresses do date! Mine was designer, pale pink silk dupion, nipped in at the waist and with exquisite beading/embroidery on the bodice and on the sleeves. Yes, it had the big kick-ass bow on the arse too but that was fashionable then! It had leg o'mutton sleeves and little pearls dripping down the back of my hand....

I hadn't intended to spend a lot on a dress, and I'd walked away from one I loved in Droopy & Brown's in Covent Garden because it was too expensive only to buy an Anna Christina custom made gown....

One of my (far out) relatives apparently sniffed when she saw my dress, "I thought she would have been in white!" lol. She obviously thought it denoted my being a fallen woman!!

I would wear it again, with a little less fabric in the skirt, and the bow removed from the backside. If I could fit into it, that is.

Cerseilannisterinthesnow · 13/04/2018 21:55

I wore this gown on my day a few months ago, I loved it, felt confident in it and thought it suited my body shape, I’m curvy size 12-14 with wide hips and this nipped me in. I wore it with a cathedral length lace edged veil, thought I looked like a Spanish process 😁

To think brides often get their dress wrong?
Cerseilannisterinthesnow · 13/04/2018 21:56

Also loved it because it was different to every other dress I’d seen, most have been big strapless meringues, or glittery lacy taffeta affairs, or fish tail dresses

ItsNachoCheese · 13/04/2018 21:56

Sorry but dumpy fungus has me howling 😂😂

SoyDora · 13/04/2018 21:57

I tried on one dress (huge, beaded thing) which was the most expensive dress in the shop. The shop assistant told me I looked ridiculous Grin (I did). So they’re obviously not just in it for the commission!

LoveInTokyo · 13/04/2018 21:59

Cersei I love that. But my OH would veto it for having a high neckline. Grin

Wifelife · 13/04/2018 22:02

Can’t speak for every boutique but we don’t get any commission, it’s a common thought though and we do get asked a lot if we work on commission, not sure if this is more of an American thing but I personally think no comission works for a more ethical sale - would rather you picked something you love, no skin off my nose if you don’t buy! The dresses sell themselves, what you’re selling is the service, if you love the dress you can get on google and find it somewhere else if you didn’t like the shop, it’s the good experience and trust in the consultants you’re buying into (IMO)

thegreylady · 13/04/2018 22:15

Mine (in 1965) was wild silk, long sleeves coming to a point on the back of my hand, a band of lace under the bust, a train from the shoulders, neither full nor tight just gently flared. I felt amazing....

MistressDeeCee · 13/04/2018 22:15

Thee best dress for any bride is the one that makes her feel glamorous, beautiful, wonderful. What you think doesn't come into it. You're not wearing it. Nothing you've said makes me think your taste is so exquisite that you're the best (self-appointed) judge. But as a stand-alone bitch fest for those so inclined I guess this post and the sharp comments interspersed here and there are fit for purpose. God forbid you should be "wrong".

Brides who base their dress on what their friends decide their I suppose are the ones deemed as she wore strapless = yuk. This thread is a good reminder to trust your own taste & instinct as "friends" may not have your best interests at heart and will just gossip about you later down the line. Take only 1 friend with you the - one who combines honest blunt kind & is trustworthy. Forget the rest.

Graphista · 13/04/2018 22:30

I hated my dress but was pushed for time so had ltd choices. But others loved it so it must have looked OK. It was dated even for the time (mid 90's) sweetheart neckline, puff sleeves, princess skirt. In addition to the style being wrong for me I lost 2 dress sizes as I was running round like a blue arsed fly organising the wedding and working 12-14 hour days in a nursing home and travelling hours at weekends to see then fiancé. Mainly lost weight from chest which made the dress look worse. What I am glad about is my regular hairdresser did my hair and I did my own make up - so in that respect I still looked like "me".

10 years later I ended up working in the industry and learned so much.

The boutique I worked in though had a wide range of styles including shorter lengths, maternity options and even trouser based outfits. Also most were available in a good range of colours.

Because this isn't a type of dress we wear very often we don't know what suits us. So often I had brides come in with a set idea of what they wanted, usually based on a picture in a magazine or online - but they'd given no consideration to their height, size, colouring, type of wedding... So often the dress they thought was perfect was completely unsuitable.

Most were open to suggestions, and we knew not only our stock but which styles would probably work better.

Often had the situation where I'd bring in a dress as a suggestion and brides would be 🤔 but I'd say "no harm in trying it on" - and then that would be THE dress.

We also had an excellent seamstress who fitted the dresses well. Was happy to add straps, sleeves, lace, coverage etc and was an absolute genius in doing so - you'd never think the additions were anything but part of the original design.

I've seen numerous celebrities in their wedding dresses of course and many are wearing dresses they don't look comfortable in and given they probably spent a fortune are poorly fitted. Gaping busts, too tight on hips and wrong lengths are the most common things I notice.

Another thing I see a lot of is over accessorising - veil AND tiara, necklace, bracelet AND ornate earrings. And very few brides can wear pure white. It's a very stark unforgiving colour. Most who wear a "white" dress are actually wearing Ivory, off white, light cream etc as it adds a little warmth.

I actually used to really enjoy serving adventurous brides happy to try all styles and open to wearing non bridal colours. We had one dress that was a dark iridescent purple satin, bateau neckline, wrap over full skirt with embellished underlay which a tall, very curvy bride bought - she looked absolutely amazing!

A good boutique will take into account not only your figure/size/height/colouring but also how you normally dress, preferred colours, style of wedding etc

Friends have mostly chosen good dresses for them but where it hasn't looked quite right it's been down to poor fitting or flowers/accessories not quite right. With poor fitting the other problem which I think is a real shame is it can mean bride is uncomfortable and constantly having to adjust it.

My favourite of my friends weddings the dress was black Victorian gothic style, made her own jewellery and her hair pillar box red.

Ultimately if the bride feels confident and beautiful that's all that matters.

"Used to work in a bridal shop and I always steered brides towards the styles that would suit them. Most of the times they listened and ended up with a flattering dress. Sometimes though, they would bring friends along who supposedly knew about fashion and would choose dresses that would have suited themselves but not the actual bride." Yep seen that happen, also pretty sure I've seen jealousy mean those supposedly supporting the bride have steered her away from a dress she looks amazing in or to one she doesn't look her best in. But then I've seen brides do similar to bridesmaids.

poignantparticulars · 13/04/2018 22:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoyDora · 13/04/2018 22:34

Never seen a strapless that looked nice I’m so sorry

You don’t have to be ‘so sorry’, I doubt anyone on here cares what some anonymous person on the internet thinks of their dress choice Grin

Wifelife · 13/04/2018 22:35

I always encourage brides to be open minded and very often it’s something they didn’t think of that they love and that’s often because what they thought they wanted they’ve built up and in reality it’s underwhlelming or doesn’t look how they hope it will, trying on lots of different styles and shapes and is important, things translate very differently from the hanger or magazines to on your body.

Another thing is a good seamstress, if you’re dress is fitted properly you don’t need to pull it up, comfort, confidence - that’s the key

MizCracker · 13/04/2018 22:35

I've always wondered why so many women choose strapless wedding dresses when they would never, EVER, wear anything strapless in their day to day lives.

I once saw someone's wedding photos. They were rather plus size and how she wasn't showing nipple I'll ever know. It was truly eye popping and not in a good way.

Bridezilla2be · 13/04/2018 22:39

I had a strapless dress but hey if it makes people that can’t pull it off feel better to bitch about them then crack on, glad none of the bitches on here were at my wedding.

All brides look stunning IMO.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 13/04/2018 22:41

Really hope you weren't a guest at my wedding OP..... Very little trace of the Sisterhood on this thread Sad

GherkinSnatch · 13/04/2018 22:42

I doubt anyone on here cares what some anonymous person on the internet thinks of their dress choice

and not five minutes later....

I had a strapless dress but hey if it makes people that can’t pull it off feel better to bitch about them then crack on, glad none of the bitches on here were at my wedding.

Grin Unless you're built like a bridal model, it's probably safe to assume you can't pull off a strapless dress.

Wifelife · 13/04/2018 22:44

Bridezilla2be completely agree!

Wifelife · 13/04/2018 22:45

SpongeBobJudgeyPants it’s all quite horrible really...

SaucyJane · 13/04/2018 22:48

All my friends who've worn strapless dresses have looked beautiful. However they have all been slim. My own massive boobs and portly top half are in no small part why DP and I aren't married - I'd never find a dress that I liked myself in!

One of my friends is half Indian and she surprised her husband with a drop dead stunning hand made sari. She looked amazing.

Another wore a shorter dress - knee length - with a short veil; that was super stylish.

And another had louboutin shoes, so the red soles flashed and matched her bridesmaids' dresses, that looked brilliant.

Man, I'd love to borrow a size 8 body and spend the day at Vera Wang and Suzanne Neville!

sweetkitty · 13/04/2018 22:48

My poor best friend had a lovely strapless dress but she had lost a lot of weight for her wedding and the dress wasn’t altered enough, we were using a lot of tit tape but it still gaped, she’s still gutted about it.

I had a very informal wedding and wore a dress from Coast which I loved, very plain kind of fitted.

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