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Original poster

To think brides often get their dress wrong?

407 replies

FreeMantle · 13/04/2018 18:16

I have always thought this actually but no one else seems to have noticed.
My lovely friends, who pride themselves on dressing very well, seem to chose a dress that doesn't suit them at all. Skinny ones go for the tightest column dress ,so they look like beans. My large busted ones are falling out of massive strapless meringues.
The latest is my size 8/10 cousin who without an inch of fat, has wide hips. So of course she's gone for a full on strapless mermaid. Making her shape look totally out of proportion.
Obviously she'll be beautiful as a bride but why that dress?
I am now looking for one for myself . Despite being short and athletic everyone seems to love a huge ivory fluffy tulle princess type dress on me. I look like a dumpy fungus. It's thin straps and tight bodice totally emphasise my lack of top half. And yes, I'm tempted.

OP posts:
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24
FlirtyRomanticToast · 14/04/2018 09:04

Gorgeous @bananafish LOVE the hair!

springmachine · 14/04/2018 09:10

My dream wedding dress is a long lace slinky number.

Which I have purchased.

I am a size 12/14 short person.

It doesn't suit me or flatter really.

I'm looking for another dress now which would be a knee length full circle dress with lace sleeves.
I haven't found it yet but that's what would flatter and suit me.

I'd prefer not to go for white and opt for a blush pink instead if I found it

MakeMineALarge1 · 14/04/2018 09:14

Well I wore a strapless wedding dress and I think I looked lovely, it fit like a dream and I was a lot slimmer than I was now.

spanky2 · 14/04/2018 09:19

It's only your opinion that the dress is wrong. It's not fact.
Why do you care so much that you think about it so hard? It doesn't matter what you think of the dress, it's not your wedding.

Pengggwn · 14/04/2018 09:20

This thread is absolutely horrible. Seeing people talking about how other women look hideous on the happiest days of their lives, as if it is any of anyone else's business, is not an edifying spectacle, is it?

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 14/04/2018 09:26

Women having opinions is not unedifying at all.perhaps dont elevate it to princess happiest day of life status
Read the thread carefully, posters are saying they may not like the aesthetic of dress but wouldn’t say
I wouldn’t dream of telling a woman my thoughts on her dress if I disliked it

Pengggwn · 14/04/2018 09:27

LipstickHandbagCoffee

Totally disagree. It is grim.

ibetyoulookgoodonthedancefloor · 14/04/2018 09:42

I always wanted fitted lace dress with sleeves, didn't quite look right as I went 14 weeks after having baby....Not very attractive!

I ended up with strapless after always saying I would never go for that style, it was lovely. I would have loved the fitted lace dress but it didn't suit my body at the time. Albeit I lost a lot of weight for my first fitting but was happy in my dress.

It's not really that brides don't get the dress right, it's more that you don't like the style or wouldn't pick that dress yourself.

What makes you think that people won't feel the same about your dress?

MrsBobDylan · 14/04/2018 09:46

I haven't been to a wedding where the bride looked anything other than stunning. I also liked my own dress. However, if I were to do it again, I would crochet myself a dress, ditch 95% of the guests and have a pub lunch after.

Mammyloveswine · 14/04/2018 09:47

I worked my backside off in the gym to tone up for my wedding, wore a strapless mermaid dress, hair half up half down and kept my veil all. day so didnt feel.as exposed.

I looked fabulous and appreciate it even more 2 children and an extra stone later! I also wore 6 inch heels so had extra height! I wanted cap sleeves originally and almost had some added. I did wear a fur stole for my outside photos as had a winter wedding!

Worst are very overweight brides squeezed into strapless, corseted dresses... i watched a program about bigger brides and a specialist wedding dress shop and it was lovely seeing dresses made for and suited to these women who did in the end look absolutely stunning!

peacheachpearplum · 14/04/2018 10:05

It would be rude to go to a wedding and tell the bride she looked awful in her dress. An anonymous discussion about hideous inappropriate wedding dresses isn't the same thing at all.

If you spend alot of money for the big dream day and it is your day (you know like when people say why did they have it at the arse end of nowhere so we had to stay in an overpriced hotel and pay a baby sitter for 2 days as they don't want children spoiling their day but they can do what they want because it's their day) then I think people are perfectly entitled to think you would have looked better in something else. We don't have the thought police yet.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 14/04/2018 10:06

Lipstick, perhaps you should read the thread carefully. There are some interesting points made in a non-sweeping, non-bitchy manner - and there are 'the others'.

This thread feels like deja vu. So many posters don't have the guts to say what they think (however wrong and misguided they are) in RL so they use this forum to do it. Pathetic.

Nothing wrong with saying "I don't like strapless dresses", or "I can't carry off an empire line" - I'd say both those things as they'd be true - but I wouldn't say, "No woman should wear x, y, z style" or "Obese woman shouldn't wear this style ever"... blah blah blah.

It is unedifying as Pengwynnn says.

peacheachpearplum · 14/04/2018 10:07

Hideous bridesmaid's dresses are even more common than unflattering bride's dresses.

peacheachpearplum · 14/04/2018 10:09

This thread feels like deja vu. So many posters don't have the guts to say what they think (however wrong and misguided they are) in RL so they use this forum to do it. Pathetic.

Good grief do you seriously think it would be better if someone walked up to the bride and said, "With a k cup did you really think strapless was a good idea?" or "Don't you think you should have lost 5 stone if you wanted to wear a meringue?"

I think that would be awful, on the day the only thing you can say is, "You look amazing, what a beautiful dress."

Pengggwn · 14/04/2018 10:11

peacheachpearplum

They don't need to pass comment at all. It's not either/or. What about just not making unpleasant, judgemental comments about others and their weight?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 14/04/2018 10:13

No peach, where have I said that? I've said the complete opposite actually.

I just don't understand why some posters don't understand that a bride who has worn x, y, z dress with a, b c 'defect' would be quite insulted to read the views of people who can't keep their nasty thoughts confined to their pin heads in favour of typing them out for the delectation of others.

sailorcherries · 14/04/2018 10:15

I'm in the midst of the hell that is wedding dress shopping - 8 shops down, at least 50+ dresses and still nothing.
I like mikado, crepe and satin fabrics and something with a boat or bardot neckline which comes in at the waist and flares our gentley, while being structured, definitely suits my shape. I also adore tea length but only very specific styles (no tulle on top, no strapless).
These dresses do not suit my wedding though. I'm having a relaxed and informal affair and finding a dress to suit me and the wedding is proving impossible.

I'd look ridiculous in the first type of dress at a relaxed wedding; I'd look ridiculous in a tea length or floaty dress as a posh black tie event.

However, part of the issue with dresses is the bloody samples not accommodating to a range of body sizes and making it impossible to see what actually suits until you've purchased a dress (either too big and not getting an idea of the real life shape as it's pinned and pulled, or too small and, as in my case, you're squashed in like a sausage and have to summon all the imagination of an Art Attack big art to picture it correctly fitting).

peacheachpearplum · 14/04/2018 10:19

Lying you said they hadn't got the guts to say it in real life and I think that is great. Why would you say it in real life to real people?

Pengggwn have all the posts been about weight? I don't think so. If you want to stand up in front of a crowd of people and have you big day then don't imagine people will suspend all critical judgement. You might love the bride, you might think she looks radiant but you might also think she isn't the right shape for a certain dress. Bride's right to choose, other people have a right to an opinion.

If anyone on here was saying "I went to Jane Smith's wedding in Brighton and she was wearing an unflattering dress" it would be awful. To talk in the abstract about a dress choice is completely different.

Pengggwn · 14/04/2018 10:21

peacheachpearplum

Did I say all the posts were about weight? No. I didn't. Those posts that are about weight - and there is a sufficient number of these to make it worth commenting on - are, in my opinion, deeply unpleasant. Like you say, people are entitled to their opinions. That's mine.

codswallopandbalderdash · 14/04/2018 10:25

NRFT but I think part of the problem is the business of when you are trying on wedding dresses they get you to wear heels and stand on a little box to (a) make you look taller and probably thinner (b) show off the dress (ignoring the fact that if you are short like me they will be cutting off a lot from the bottom) and they have flattering lights / mirrors.

I refused to do any standing on boxes. I bought me shoes (low heel) first so that I wore them when trying on dresses to get a real sense of how the dress would look on me. I also didn't buy a wedding dress as white / cream / gold doesn't do anything for me and I didn't want a fake tan. I bought a coloured bridesmaid dress instead. Worked for me

BrutusMcDogface · 14/04/2018 10:25

still laugh when I think about my colleague’s wedding. She had a strapless gown and glasses (couldn’t be asked with contacts) and her photos look ridiculous.

What a bitchy comment! Shock

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 14/04/2018 10:28

peach, we've got crossed wires somewhere. I wouldn't say it to anybody in RL or online because a) I don't think that way about somebody's deeply personal choices and b) it's none of my business.

I am criticising the posters who use the anonymity of a chatboard to actually insult other women for their deeply personal choices by using oblique statements that cover any person who did x, y, z.

I express myself so badly at times but that is what I mean.

Flopsymopsycottontailbuns · 14/04/2018 10:40

I did find that wedding shop assistants said everything looked amazing when clearly it didn't! Maybe that is why though I don't know why people wouldn't choose something they liked.

I am busty and had a strapless big meringue number - it was 2006 when all the Hollywood Dreams dresses came in, I didn't have quite a Hollywood Dream dress as they were a bit too much even for me but mine was big and I don't regret it at all - I was 27, thin with boobs and looked amazing! If it was now I would cover up as much of me as possible and strapless would not be a good look.

To those saying you can't wear strapless if you're busty oh yes you can. A proper strapless wedding dress will pull you in with bones then have a little padding on the exterior to compensate where it's reduced you!

I can't say I have ever seen a bride look awful though I have been surprised by some of my friends choices for example one person who is normally very classic but went for something quite trendy. All have looked beautiful though.

bananafish81 · 14/04/2018 10:41

@ziggy1986 do it!!! Trainers under the dress was one of the best decisions. I had a few rules when choosing what I'd wear

  1. No strapless for ME (anyone else can do what they like and all I hope is that they feel fucking fantastic and have a wonderful day, and if I'm attending then feel lucky to have been invited to celebrate their special day with them). I personally find that it's very hard to get strapless to flatter, and knew that it definitely wasn't my friend with No Boobs To Speak Of
  1. No corsets. I didn't want to feel garotted into my dress and uncomfortably constricted
  1. No meringues (for me, note, passing no judgement on anyone else who does choose a pouffy princess dress!). Nothing that I'd need someone else to help me wrangle the skirts to go to the loo.
  1. Comfy shoes I could dance in without breaking my neck or getting sore feet. I walked down the aisle in shoes but changed into trainers afterwards. I did some Nike Air Max custom ones online - chose the colours and did the sappy bridal thing of having our initials on the heel tag. I love wearing my wedding trainers now! I danced my socks off and I cannot recommend wedding trainers enough to anyone Grin
To think brides often get their dress wrong?
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 14/04/2018 10:45

'Wedding Trainers', I LOVE that idea - and being able to wear them afterwards too!

Wouldn't have worked for me as I wore a dress/jacket thing but if I did it again, I would wear wedding trainers...! Grin