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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have absolutely no bloody discipline whatsoever...

56 replies

procrastinationsupremo · 13/04/2018 16:13

I'm 40 this year and have a responsible job and a young child. My contract is term-time only, so this Easter I decided to keep most of my childcare, catch up on all my paperwork and sort out some of the 50 billion things that need doing in our new house.

Over the last 2 weeks I have had 4 full child free days (and help with bath and bed from my lovely, f/t working husband) and I have done virtually NOTHING! I spent one of the days almost entirely in bed. The house is more of a tip than usual and even right now, whilst my daughter naps and I could be doing something useful I'm on here!

I seem to be exactly the same person I was when I was 14 and felt completely overwhelmed by my messy room!

I'm totally ashamed of myself, but am beginning to think I'll never change.. I can't decide if it's just abject laziness?? I just put things off and off and off until I feel so stressed out by them and there's so much to do I feel completely paralysed by the enormity of my to do list!

Is anyone else like this?? I feel like the rest if the world is working f/t, raising their children, studying, going to the gym and getting up at 5am to batch cook!!?

OP posts:
ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 13/04/2018 16:15

It’s not just you!! Blush

MeanTangerine · 13/04/2018 16:15

Meh. You're a busy person, you had some free time, you used it to relax, so shoot you (sarcasm). It's OK to take a break.

MeanTangerine · 13/04/2018 16:18

The rest of the world lies, or at least heavily edits.

For actually getting stuff done:

Do you use any kind of diary / planner? If so, schedule the things that need to be done into specific times. Make sure you either allow enough time, or make the job small enough, to get it done. Even if it's "spend 5 minutes filing back statements". A little really is better than nothing.

Hmmalittlefishy · 13/04/2018 16:22

I feel the same. Dd3 had a decent nap today and I did half a job that needed doing then sat down with a coffee Blush but the whole house is a tip. There is not one room t hat doesn't need something sorting or cleaning but it's too overwhelming. Plus the snowball affect of moving one thing causes something else to need to be sorted

Original poster
procrastinationsupremo · 13/04/2018 16:23

Thank you mean for the reassurance and for the advice. I think it would help if I broke things down into more manageable, smaller tasks, rather than 'sort out spare room'. I just can't imagine anyone I know lying fully clothed in bed, panicking about all the jobs and yet doing NOTHING to improve the situation (then telling their husband they think they might have a stomach bug....)

OP posts:
Flippetydip · 13/04/2018 16:24

My major advice if you have a responsible (and therefore presumably OK-paid) job is to get a cleaner. It makes life seem more manageable.

But you are so definitely not alone on this.

Original poster
procrastinationsupremo · 13/04/2018 16:25

But fishy you have 3 CHILDREN!! You're allowed a coffee!

OP posts:
cate16 · 13/04/2018 16:26

I think I could have written this post- especially the update :(

Crispbutty · 13/04/2018 16:27

Sounds like me but I don’t even have kids.

It’s my day off today. I had plans to sort the bedroom out as it’s a tip. Go shopping. Dye my hair. Start on the garden.

I had a few drinks with DP last night, I got up at 2pm and I’m still in my dressing gown, about to have a bath and look half human before DP gets home from work Blush. And wondering if I can be bothered to go down to the pub to meet up with friends for a few early evening drinks.

I’m 49. Hmm Confused

Original poster
procrastinationsupremo · 13/04/2018 16:28

It really is helping to hear I'm not the only one. It's kind of got to the stage where I think it might just be better to accept my limitations and not set myself up for failure...

OP posts:
BackforGood · 13/04/2018 16:30

I'm like this.
Well, I do get some things done, but never manage 1/2 what I intend to do. However, I think part of it is that you go into 'holiday mode' - which is a good thing in my book. Holidays are supposed to be about rest and relaxation. You sleep all day (or lie in most days in my case) because you are so tired, your body needs to catch up.

ClownPockets · 13/04/2018 16:31

I'm basically you OP and I let myself off by chanting self care self care whenever I have a lazy day. I'm lucky enough to have a DP who plans and does our weekly food shop, washes up and cooks most days and does the majority of the clothes admin too leaving me to be even lazier and less motivated to do things that need doing...

littlepill · 13/04/2018 16:37

I get like this, but you know, sometimes it can be a driver.

I look at all the time I've wasted and then work like crazy at recouping it.

Did this with a work project this week. Instead of breaking it into smallish chunks every day, I wasted so much time that I just worked non-stop for 3 days. It was stupid but it means no emotional investment early on!

I like the idea of self-care when it feels like a lazy day!

hooliodancer · 13/04/2018 16:38

I am exactly the same. I don't even have children.

I mostly can't be arsed. I have always been the same, everything I do is half arsed really!

Even when I have been at home all day I often don't get dinner on the table until 9pm.

Even things I like doing I mostly can't be bothered to do them.

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 13/04/2018 16:45

I had a bit of a lightbulb moment last week when my Dc were off school and I was off work. I normally just tell myself “oh I want to get X, Y and Z done during half term break” but I was going through my google calendar and thought I would just schedule this stuff in. I hadn’t really thought I would actually do it on those days but I realised that when I woke up in the morning my brain automatically knew it was the day for clearing out the spare room. And so after breakfast, I just started it. I’ve decided this is my key to getting things done. Not sure if it will work for you OP but thought I would mention it just in case.

Purplehammer · 13/04/2018 16:45

There’s all tomorrow not started of.
Every morning when you have breakfast remember those words.
If only there was such a thing as “Apathetics Anonymous”
Problem is that any of those who need help couldn’t be arsed to turn up to a meeting.
The people who feel the need to keep busy are running away from life.
We the lethargic know how to relax without guilt.

gingercat02 · 13/04/2018 16:47

I've been off this week and done sweet f a! Saw some friends and dissed about at home cos the weather has been crap. Back to work/school on Monday ooops Grin

crunchymint · 13/04/2018 16:49

I am the same OP. But I have been shocked some people think I have a busy life - DP and I know the truth.

Original poster
procrastinationsupremo · 13/04/2018 16:51

purple if only I did know how to relax without guilt! Then it wouldn't seem like such a bloody waste of time!

OP posts:
NonnoMum · 13/04/2018 17:00

I have basically not been able to function this Easter holiday. I wake up and look forward to nap time.

BertieBotts · 13/04/2018 17:04

Have you ever looked at a description of women with ADHD? These sound like the kind of thoughts I used to have (can't imagine anyone else doing this) before I was diagnosed.

If it's temporary, then it could absolutely just be normal tiredness and overwhelm, but if you've genuinely felt the same way since you were 14, your brain might just be wired differently.

Olinguito · 13/04/2018 17:05

I'm not good at breaking things up into smaller tasks. I want to do it all or nothing, and usually it ends up being nothing! I've also just wasted the Easter break achieving very little and am now kicking myself.

LampHat · 13/04/2018 17:10

Oh I do this. I sometimes spend all day thinking about what I should be doing and feeling guilty about it. Completely ruins my TV time. My solution is just to accept I’m too crap to get stuff done (unless there’s a deadline) and embrace the laziness. Then if I get anything done at all I feel like I’ve had a very productive day.

Definitely not just you.

Sosog00d · 13/04/2018 17:13

crisp i want to be like you when i grow up
I'm 42. Grin

ftw · 13/04/2018 17:18

How old is your child OP? I get much more done when mine are around than when they’re not because when they’re around I can’t do the complete amount of nothing/sleeping I would do if they weren’t. So I save my actual free time to be completely free. 😀
My youngest is 6 so able to play/watch tv/keep out my way a bit. This approach doesn’t work with toddlers...

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