AIBU to wonder why retired parents live in big houses and don't help family?

[Dojos]

Not judging the choice but i can't help finding it odd that you can have two sets off grandparents living in and owning several properties and adult children both in full
Time work struggling to make ends meet.

Bright enough and big hearted enough to know inheritance is a gift not a right, and rightly so. I'm just curious how parents can sleep In 5 bedroom homes they don't need at night whilst their good steady grown up kids struggle a whole Gang into a 2 or 3 bed semi.

I guess that applies further - why do the elderly generation not downside and keep the lifecycle of a family home going?

Op why would the “good steady grown up kids” decide to have a “whole gang” if they couldn’t afford to house them?

You didn't buy them you took council stock and needed to rent places, leading to people buying buy-to-let to rent to immigrants and British people that now where not able to get into council stock.

Actually I rented privately, then bought privately. To the best of my knowledge neither the flats I rented nor the house I bought was ex-council. I know for sure about the house as I have all the paperwork.

My parents also rented, in the early 70s when they lived in England. I think that was before you could possibly buy ex-council stock in England. I doubt their bed-sit would have been suitable for the OPs 'whole gang' either.

And if your issue is the decreasing amount of council housing, you might want to take issue with the people who implemented the right-to-buy schemes?
Or perhaps demand sensible housing policy from the government and local authorities?

Or is it just easier to blame other people?

Wdigin2this

They don't understand while houses might being low so where wages and it was very hard to even get the bank to give you the mortage and that was before those intrest rates.

My of the younger generation could walk into a bank in 2005 and get 125% without having to do a thing.

Oh gee, why didn’t I think of that?

My sister, three years older than me so further along in her career, did exactly that (and has done very well out of it too). I wasn’t earning enough to borrow enough to buy a property. That’s still the problem for most people, even though their rents are often similar to what a mortgage would cost them month on month. Not to mention the fact I was only earning as much as I was because I was working in London, which never really crashed to be fair!

Hear hear Bluelady !

Well said

TammySwansonTwo
Why not ask Sis to downsize so you can get a house?

My FiL is a certified bell end, we are NC but he always makes a point that we are missing out on inheriting his millions.

Zero fucks are given.

A parents money is not their child's money unless the parent chooses to give it to them, I don't see why its an issue.

Oh, and by the way, those of you complaining about how hard it is now, to get on the property ladder, when it was apparently so easy for us BB's, think about this! If your parents are living in 5/6 bedroom houses with 3 bathrooms and room for a pool.....where will this wealth go when they die, to you obviously! Our parents generally lived in council owned property, with no bank accounts, no credit cards and no spare cash, so what did we inherit, SFA that's what!!!

They earned their house and aren’t dead yet?

HolyShmoly
Any if there was no evil buy-to-let landlord when you came what would you have done?

Houses it’s about multiples of income. Half of all Londoners earn less than £27k a year for example, but you can only borrow 5x your salary. 100% mortgages are all well and good but if you don’t earn enough to borrow the value in the first place, it’s irrelevant (just like the help to buy schemes).

My mum bought several houses, from her early 20s onwards and they never cost more than 2.5x their household annual income. I don’t know anyone who’s recently managed to buy a property that cost 2.5x their income.

Again, you’re refusing to acknowledge the issue.

My in laws are loaded.

My MIL has Alzheimer's. I hope all their money goes on ensuring she has fantastic care and there's not a penny left for us.

I don’t have an issue that my mum lives in a much bigger house than us. And she very generously helped us with a deposit, which is the reason we’re on the housing ladder at all. I do find it slightly annoying though that she is currently planning on moving (because she’s bored with her current house, not because she needs to), and continually moans to me that she can’t find anything she likes as her budget is too small and she doesn’t want to end up in a ‘poxy box’, by which she means anything smaller than a five-bedroom house. We live in a two-bedroom flat. It’s just slightly grating to be told with one breath that she can’t possibly do without at least three reception rooms, and then asked with the next why I can’t manage to keep our single small living- and dining-room tidier. ‘It would be much better if you had a separate playroom for all these toys...’ Well yes, yes it would.

Probably bought one of those properties snapped up by BTLers as the prices wouldn't have been pushed through the ceiling.

Amazing arguments here - if people couldn’t have kids until they could afford to buy a house that would house them all, how quickly do you think the country’s population of future taxpayers would fall?

YANBU OP.
I know several retired people (couples/widows/widowers) in this situation.
Friends of my DM.

They are getting to the age whereby they are finding it harder and harder to look after themselves and cope with their big houses.

Several complain that the 'house is too big'and they are relying on grown up children & grandchildren (who are in full-time work and education) to 'manage' the property and help with everyday things like shopping/DIY etc. now that they are getting on a bit.

Most spent their long retirements going on multiple holidays whilst their Grandchildren were growing up & now these days have now come to an end due to ill heath, they are turning more & more to their grown DC/GC for help.

Many inherited money from their own parents at a younger age than is typical nowadays or benefitted from relatively cheaper housing costs years ago.

The same grown 'children' and grandchildren nearly all live in very modestl homes in comparison and struggle and/or don't have lavish lifestyles but their parents want to stay put even now they can't cope with their big homes.

I have DC of my own and hope to 'share the wealth' 'around when I get older, downsize & look after the next generation whilst ensuring that I am in a place (a manageable house) I can cope with myself for as long as possible.
Both my own parents & Grandparents did just this.

NOT judging the choice but cant help wondering why a struggling couple would continue to have a whole gang of kids.

This. Children are a privilege, not a right. Why keep having them if you’re struggling? I don’t understand this at all.

My retired DM had a large 5 bed house. She downgraded around 4 years ago. She bought a new 3 bed new build semi outright and also had just over £250,000 cash in the bank from the sale. I was not given a penny (nor did I expect any, although it would obviously be helpful as Im raising 2 young DC). Coincidentally it was around the time DH became qualified as a specialist in his job and so his wage bumped along with decent yearly bonus's. Annoying thing is though, she told her family (siblings and parents) about the sale of the house. And since then everything I have bought and all holidays I have had, I have had "alright for some" comments from family!! My "D"M sat through my DCs christening meal for 70 family members (paid for solely by me and DH), having people assume she had paid for it, thank her for hosting such a lovely day and she did not say a word to them! Just smiled smugly when she hadnt paid a penny and actually forgot to bring DCs card so didnt even give a gift herself. Which I think was done purposely so it looked like she had paid for the day. Also the same when we purchased a new car with DHs annual bonus last year. One family member actually commented to me regarding a Florida holiday we took in 2017 that I was so lucky I had my DM. Im afraid I didnt take the high road. I instantly said "why? she hasnt paid a penny towards my holiday". Not sure if they even believed me!

That was to Houses, btw! Christ this thread's moving fast!

Houses well I own a house now, thanks. Besides, my sister didn’t decide to have a sibling. I did decide to have kids.

I was thinking the same about the social housing thread - everyone was saying people in social housing should uproot their life in a bid to make way for strangers but heaven forbid someone suggest their parents help them out once in a while.

Mumsnet. Where ageism is punishable by flogging but classism is positively encouraged

When did I claim that any of my landlords were evil?

Most cities in the world have a rental market. That's pretty standard practice as far as I'm aware.

I've mentioned here that I've been able to rent and then purchase a property so I personally don't have an issue with the housing stock in my area. If I had issues with it though I'd potentially be looking at what has caused the issues, it's rarely as simple as 'foreigners' though.

TammySwansonTwo
That is because back then there was less immergrants and two income families.

Stock decreased and two income became the norm to push the house from 2.5x to double that due to the extra income.

If you are lucky brexit might fix some of these issues for you and house stock demand will decrease and prices will go down like in 2010 and you can get a cheap house like sis.

Why are you blaming the older generation for the price when they where working as even you said it this generation had the same chance for cheap houses in 2009-2013.

For arguments sake (not in this position yet)

I do not expect to be funding my kids lives once they have left home

They make their own choices and need to take responsibility for them! ( yes this includes getting a poorly paid job, etc fine but don’t expect me to fund your life)

I would be horrified if my kids were expecting me to sell my home and downsize so they could upsize!!!

Learn to spell and form paragraphs ... then come back