AIBU to wonder why retired parents live in big houses and don't help family?

[Dojos]

Not judging the choice but i can't help finding it odd that you can have two sets off grandparents living in and owning several properties and adult children both in full
Time work struggling to make ends meet.

Bright enough and big hearted enough to know inheritance is a gift not a right, and rightly so. I'm just curious how parents can sleep In 5 bedroom homes they don't need at night whilst their good steady grown up kids struggle a whole Gang into a 2 or 3 bed semi.

I guess that applies further - why do the elderly generation not downside and keep the lifecycle of a family home going?

... and no, I don't resent paying for people's pensions when they need it. What I do resent is paying for people's pensions when they are millionaires with several properties and I can barely afford to pay my rent.

Wow you sound very entitled and I hope you don't carry this as a chip on your shoulder in RL

Why should you pay for services you'll never see? Maybe because we've paid for your education and healthcare and are now paying for that of your children. We're paying for your mat leave and subsidised childcare - which we didn't get. We paid for the pensions of the generation above us and we've paid NI in excess of 40 years to provide pensions for ourselves. Think before you type.

How is wanting to own our own house after working all our lives ‘entitled’?

Maybe because we've paid for your education and healthcare and are now paying for that of your children. We're paying for your mat leave and subsidised childcare - which we didn't get. We paid for the pensions of the generation above us and we've paid NI in excess of 40 years to provide pensions for ourselves.

Millennials will be doing all those things too for the next generation. Difference is their pension provision will almost certainly be significantly worse than yours.

Boomers didn't pay for anything, they took more out than they paid in. 118p taken out for every 100p paid in. That's a big problem, they never paid their own way and want others to sub them.

Some generational comments here that sound so entitled. I had my child, no benefits were available then, so back to work when s was 6 weeks old. Paid for the nursery myself through til 4 when s started private school which i paid for on my own as my husband and i divorced, no free places in nurseries in those days, ever. My parents used to work 8 til 8 and I was the same for many years, M to Sat. No free nurseries or maternity pay, if you got pregnant you had to leave your employment or were forced out. I earned every penny of my 3 properties. Making sacrifices for years of no holidays, no car, no social life. I have never ever claimed benefits. I rarely use the refuse collections, my son went to private school, so can I have a refund please. My tax is paying for these services and benefits and I'm pissed off that I have never benefitted the way some of you entitled people do. So can you please shut up about paying for our pensions. Some of us have paid ni and tax for 45 years. We paid for them ourselves.

And by the way if you can't afford your rent get a second job, or a third.

Bumper1969, not all kids have that sense of entitlement. I too had to start with nothing, and had to support my parents who were both ill and passed away quite young. It took many years of study & toil to get myself financially settled with my own home. But we do intend to help
our kids as much as we can, if we can. They don't know that, and they are certainly not the entitled kind. My daughter might not have had the same level of hardship we endured as kids, but she works hard, holds down an 18 hr week job on top of 4 A levels, and is hoping to go to an RG uni next September. She is certainly not middle class entitled, and knows she will need to work hard to get ahead in life. The fact that we as parents, might one day be able to pass on some capital (we hope!), is something I would do in a heartbeat. I totally understand that where people's only asset is some average sized home of reasonable value, that downsizing is not always an easy or affordable option. And we need to ensure our old age is catered for, but where parents have significant wealth and choose to sit on it, I do find that baffling.

I earned every penny of my 3 properties

I highly doubt it.

I agree Bluelady, there are a lot more benefits around now than there were 40 years ago; from tax credits to housing benefit to free nursery places. Back then, way more people hit the workforce at 16-18 and started earning. Now everyone is expected to go to university, however pointless the degree, they are often in ft employment 5 years or more later. Which then clashes with having children and time out of the workplace.

@jon66 either you are speaking shit or your child was born pre 1956

Can we have some facts and figures to show that we took out more than we paid in? Sounds like made up bollocks to me.

There is a huge generational divide in this country.

The boomers that have had secure jobs for life, cheap houses and mortgages on houses that have exploded in value and living on massive pensions and using the system for every last penny (bus passes, winter allowance, extensive medical care etc)

The Youngesters. Unlikely to ever be able to afford to own their own home. Will work until they drop dead in several jobs to try and pay for everything. Struggling to get basic needs met - decent classroom sizes, a doctors appointment etc.

This toxic combination will implode at some point as the level of resentment building around this subject is going to last for generations.
I can see the government are now noticing this injustice and will soon address it if they wish to be voted in by their future voters, and not the old and dying voters that will only look after themselves.

I live in a large 3 bed house while my daughter is in a rented flat. Should I sell up and buy her a place?

Logan’s Run scenario it is then.

Well said rocketgirl22.

I agree Bluelady, there are a lot more benefits around now than there were 40 years ago; from tax credits to housing benefit to free nursery places. Back then, way more people hit the workforce at 16-18 and started earning. Now everyone is expected to go to university, however pointless the degree, they are often in ft employment 5 years or more later. Which then clashes with having children and time out of the workplace.

40 years ago university education was free plus maintenance grant, everyone was entitled to child benefit.

I dunno, I'm neither a bb or a millennial. I think millennials have a lot to be grateful for, but subsidised childcare isn't really one of them. It's only needed because of the rules the government put into place!
Opportunity, ability to travel, equality being the most obvious. My parents did well financially but tbh the expectation that women gave up work/ independence and became reliant on men wouldn't work for me.

Actually the current generation entering work will be ok on the pension front as employers all have to enter them into a work place pension the 35 to 55 year olds that missed out on final salary pensions (unless they've been steadily well paid and prudent) are a bit fucked...

Good luck with that, rocketgirl. Around 40% of voters under 30 didn’t bother in the last general election.

Rarely use refuse collections?? Am intrigued Jon66. Do you take it there yourself??!
Joking aside. We do feel the same sometimes, but it's a tricky transaction to contemplate. Especially where we live, I would say refuse collection is perhaps the one public service that people round here use! Private schooling, healthcare, and an area that was deemed too wealthy for the district council to get the allocation of funds that other councils do. Our roads are officially one of the worst maintained in the country, but it's ok, because we are all rich enough round here to replace our popped tyres at leisure... Anyway...that's all rather off topic, so I'd better stop right there!

Thing you're missing with your sweeping generalisations, rocketgirl, is that any pensioner with an income over £11,800 still pays tax. Just like you. Bus pass? Don't know anyone who uses one. Winter fuel allowance? Clawed back in tax. Extensive medical care? Last saw the GP in 2016 for the first time in five years. Use of the NHS is greatest by the very old and the very young. As the oldest boomers are currently 74, they're not great users of the NHS as a generation.

I find it bizarre too. I think it's a cultural thing. The welfare state had made the British entitled and greedy. My priority savings wise after school fees is to but houses for both my sons. It may not happen but at least I will have enough to give them both a deposit.

There’s no way I’d expect parents to give up their house to benefit their children

Also the Pils like to have their grandchildren to stay which is a big reason to keep all the space

And let’s not forget free university education, Housing Benefit for your student digs and being allowed to sign on the dole in the holidays.