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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask how you cope with people who never shut up!

62 replies

Fuckitbucket13 · 12/04/2018 16:00

I clean for a woman who never shuts up. I go into another room to clean & she's still talking, I pretend I haven't heard her & she then shouts for me. It's all just about people I've never met & who I don't want to know about. I'm mentally knackered when I've done, not physically though as I don't get much done.

Another woman, my mum's friend, she's lovely but again, she never shuts up.

I was thinking of wearing dark glasses & having a nap while they talk. It's just exhausting listening to someone talk for two hours!

OP posts:

DairyisClosed · 12/04/2018 16:04

Don't listen, you don't have to.just throw in the occasional mmm, a ha, oh really? And nod when they pause for breath.

Cheekyandfreaky · 12/04/2018 16:04

Headphones and ‘I work better and faster this way’ and for the other woman just leave the room.

LittleRedWagon1 · 12/04/2018 16:06

I take my hearing aids out and say "Sorry I'm deaf I can't hear you"

Seriously though it's draining isn't it. DD2 is a constant talker, if it goes in her head it comes out of her mouth and if it's not words its sounds. I find it really difficult because she is only 8 and although she understands that people don't want to hear EVERYTHING she thinks/sees/hears/wants/needs etc etc, she is easily distracted and forgets after she's been asked to give up a few minutes peace.

LittleRedWagon1 · 12/04/2018 16:07

Original poster

Fuckitbucket13 · 12/04/2018 16:09

@dairy I tried that last week. I was in own little world when she was talking she then paused to ask what I thought, I had to say "can you repeat that please" @cheeky I just have

OP posts:

The80sweregreat · 12/04/2018 16:10

Do you find that all she talks about is herself though?
most 'chatterboxes' i know do tend to have conversation down to a ' one way street' not interested in anything you have to say and love to turn it back to them the minute they think it might deviate to some other topic other than themselves, including my own ds2 who tends to do this a lot. Its either that or a lot of conversations about people you have never met and never will.

ToastyFingers · 12/04/2018 16:13

Dd1 talks constantly. I'm not joking. She talks in her sleep too. She once talked while being sick. Some times I feel like my head might explode from it. I ask her to give me two minutes peace and she happily obliges but it's rarely more that 30 seconds before the next monologue begins. I hide in the kitchen sometimes.

forcryinoutloud · 12/04/2018 16:23

The answer is not as easily as I should do! I can see how draining this must be for you. If you think you could get away with the odd grunt, nod or 'uh huh' then I'd go for that and not listen to her, just clean. If she wants you to listen she can't expect you to concentrate on cleaning!

I'm afraid I had a friend who would get on the phone and not shut up for an hour, or be the same if we went out. She spent 25 mins alone telling me every detail of her DC pre bedtime routine to the point where I wanted to rip my earlobes off. She'd graciously then let me squeeze in a couple of sentences about 'my little life' after about 59 minutes and then it would be back to her and every minutia of her business.

I now avoid much contact I'm sorry to say.

mimibunz · 12/04/2018 16:25

I have a work colleague like this. It's awful and you almost have to be rude to either shut her up or just not engage with her at all.

BadlyParkedRangeRover · 12/04/2018 16:25

Kill them. The world does not need people like that. *eyes patio

Takfujuimoto · 12/04/2018 16:30

DD narrates my/her/everyone's life/day and she talks, makes noises in her sleep.
It was the only thing mentioned at parents evening, " She's very keen at vocal participation."

no shit teach.

I've partially given up and accepted this is who she is, I consider it a win when we have a day where she doesn't tell me what her poo looked like and she doesn't speak over anyone.

The80sweregreat · 12/04/2018 16:33

forcryinoutloud - i think we must know the same people -

i have one friend who is brilliant - we chat and she asks me questions and I ask her things and we both listen and its not all about her and what she is doing and its not all about me either. we've been friends for 32 years and i think this why ! not many around like that afraid to say, the other friends and colleagues i have are the exact opposite. lol ( still nice people, but you can see their eyes glaze over when its not them on the agenda)

The80sweregreat · 12/04/2018 16:38

The ones that will tell you a story of something thats happened or whatever, but start it from about last tuesday up to the present day in a minute by minute, blow by blow account that makes you lose the will to live? why does nobody tell them ( in my case, i;m too polite and it would sound rude to say' get to the point'!!)

ImogenTubbs · 12/04/2018 16:38

My mum is like this, unfortunately. Not all the time, but often and usually worse when she's excited or nervous. I do find it exhausting and have sometimes called her out on it, for example once she joined a dinner I had planned with a friend and she dominated the conversation all evening, not letting anyone else get a word in edgeways. We ended up having a big fight about it as she somehow knows she is doing it and feels bad about it but doesn't know how not to rush to fill even a momentary silence.

Sometimes I just say, "I'm finding this all a bit much to take in" and every now and then she gets the hint, but I usually have to leave the room as well.

I love my mother dearly and she is wonderful in many many ways but it can sometimes make being with her quite hard work!

picklemepopcorn · 12/04/2018 16:40

Do you clean for my Mum? She drives me potty. I'm exhausted after a day with her.

Witchend · 12/04/2018 16:41

I avoid him as much as possible.

picklemepopcorn · 12/04/2018 16:42

Sometimes I interrupt and say 'are we still talking about the shopping?' Or 'hang on is this Bob, I've lost track'. It helps when I have been able to listen well enough to keep track.

moofolk · 12/04/2018 16:43

My FIL is like this is maddening. I can't even get a word in to say 'here's your cup of tea'.

The80sweregreat · 12/04/2018 16:45

My dh doesnt talk much and that is also hard going, so i do feel bad for being able to call out the ones that i know that never stop talking. i think it should be a ' happy medium' know when to speak and when to be quiet and how to not hog the conversations so nobody else can get a word in. My mil is one who can rabbit on about herself all day long - if you try saying anything your shut down. luckily i don t see her much...

Love51 · 12/04/2018 16:47

I send them to play in the garden. That nails it at home. It is a shame there isn't a garden at work.

VanillaSugar · 12/04/2018 16:56

I know someone like this. What's worse, when I finally get a word in edgeways she butts in and finishes my sentence for me, but in the opposite direction of what I was saying. I.e. "We went for a walk along the river bank and...." 'yes, you walked to the pub didn't you we go there a lot the scenery is beautiful we usually take a picnic and have a game of rounders on the way back" (me finally shouting) "NO! When we got there the police had cordoned it off because there was an escaped convict on the loose "

That sort of thing.

VanillaSugar · 12/04/2018 16:57

Do these people actually know the effect they have on other people?

The80sweregreat · 12/04/2018 17:00

Vanilla, i know people like that too! I dont think they are that aware as nobody has told them not to be like it. they usually wouldnt listen anyway and just carry on.

dustarr73 · 12/04/2018 17:04

I take my hearing aids out and say "Sorry I'm deaf I can't hear you"

Im the same,being deaf does have its advantages

Hotelmotel · 12/04/2018 17:05

I have a colleague like this. Lovely person but talks at me constantly. I don't mind so much the talking but what does bother me is that when I try to engage and occasionally say something about myself he shows no interest and almost immediately finds a way to turn the conversation back to being about him.

My DH can also chatter away a lot in social situations which is odd because he's a great listener when we're alone. I think in a group setting he feels the need to fill silences and I've tried to explain to him that not every silence needs to be filled with a random observation!

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