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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not ask permission

80 replies

Mothercarerskivvy · 11/04/2018 23:15

Basic facts: I'm taking my children on holiday in term time. We've relocated due to dv. Court cases involved, kids having counselling....
Holiday is within UK. £280 for the week I've booked. £1300 in holidays.
School has an online form asking 'permission' to take holidays.
I spent years asking 'permission' to even leave the house and I will not ask a stranger if I can take my children away.
My AIBU is: I'm not asking permission. They're my children. So I'll just email and say I'm going. I refuse to Ask.
Am I wrong?

OP posts:
cloudtree · 11/04/2018 23:17

Yes

AjasLipstick · 11/04/2018 23:17

I think the form is for holidays in school time OP....not during hols.

WorraLiberty · 11/04/2018 23:18

Well you've made up your mind anyway, so as long as you factor in the fines I don't suppose it matters.

Petitepamplemousse · 11/04/2018 23:19

OP if you explain circs and your reasons etc nicely they probably won’t fine you. If you just take them out, they probably will. Based on my experience of what I have seen in school as a teacher, anyway.

Crispbutty · 11/04/2018 23:19

I can understand your logic given the circumstances but I do think you should do it the proper way and request time off.

newyearwhoohoo · 11/04/2018 23:19

No. YANBU.
I detest how the state can dictate to us what we can and cannot do with our children. They're your DC and you have been in an awful situation. Take them on holiday.

TwitterQueen1 · 11/04/2018 23:20

I get how you feel OP, but it is the law, which is designed to protect the best interests of children. Can you look at it as not 'asking permission' but as requesting a 'leave of absence'?

FlatTopVera · 11/04/2018 23:20

I think you’re seeing a battle that isn’t there.
No, you don’t need to ask permission. You can state your intention. You might get fined. You may get your leave authorised if you ask for it to be considered under ‘exceptional circumstances’: you need time to regroup after a family crisis involving DV.
(I’m a headteacher, if that helps!)

AjasLipstick · 11/04/2018 23:23

OP doesn't have to respond to that form! Her break is IN HOLS! The form is meant for people taking their DC away during school time.

Grobagsforever · 11/04/2018 23:24

YANBU.

School is not the boss of your

They might give you but pretty unlikely

Wish more ppl thought like you OP

Warrior woman. Enjoy

RoseWhiteTips · 11/04/2018 23:24

Yes.

Grobagsforever · 11/04/2018 23:25

@AjasLipstick Read the bloody OP

WorraLiberty · 11/04/2018 23:25

The OP says she's taking her kids on holiday during term time Confused

AjasLipstick · 11/04/2018 23:26

@Grobags I DID read the bloody op thanks! It seems many didn't.

TenancyTroublesAgain · 11/04/2018 23:26

@AjasLipstick no, it's during term time

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 11/04/2018 23:26

@AjasLipstick
The OP makes it clear Basic facts: I'm taking my children on holiday in term time

TenancyTroublesAgain · 11/04/2018 23:27

AjasLipstick literally says in the OP it's £280 for the week THEY BOOKED, but £1300 if it was booked in the holidays!

AjasLipstick · 11/04/2018 23:27

Holiday is within UK. £280 for the week I've booked. £1300 in holidays.

That's what I read.

She says she's booked in holidays.

I did not see this bit at the start

I'm taking my children on holiday in term time.

AjasLipstick · 11/04/2018 23:28

Right I get it now I get it.

So...OP yabu.

It's not personal, you're better letting them know than not. You can't just spirit them away.

Poptart4 · 11/04/2018 23:28

YANBU. In my country you can take your kids on holiday without asking permission or being fined. As long as your child doesn't miss more than 20 days over the year the school is fine with it.

Personally I think this fining system you have is just a money making racket. No better than loan sharks holding you to ransom, its legal extortion. I actually can't believe yous put up with it.

Afew days off school will not have any detrimental effect on your childrens education. From the sounds of it you've all had a rough year and could do with the break.

AlpacaLypse · 11/04/2018 23:30

Anyone want to join my campaign for new members of Mumsnet to have to do a reading comprehension test before they can join and start commenting?

Ragusa · 11/04/2018 23:30

YANBU. You do what you think is best for your kids. I also refuse to do this and I dont even have your good reasons. I just dislike asking permission for decisions that are mine to make.

Mrscog · 11/04/2018 23:31

I agree with you, they won’t give you permission anyway. Write an email to the school explaining what you’re doing, when they’ll be out and you’re sorry for any inconvenience and you’re aware the absence won’t be authorised. That should be the end of it.

ruleshelpcontrolthefun · 11/04/2018 23:32

You can take your children on holiday whenever you like. They are your children.

However:

A lot of schools can also fine you

Some schools can fine you but do not automatically fine you and there is wriggle room

Refusing to ask permission may increase your chances of being fined as the head knows no details

Fines are still cheaper than taking holidays in school holidays

HTH

FASH84 · 11/04/2018 23:33

No you don't have to ask, but given your family circumstances, the school are likely to understand if you explain why the trip is important. No point getting a cheap holiday to pay fines on top, and you can refuse to pay but you really don't need a court process at this point.

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