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Original poster

Court case tomorrow and Barrister not coming

102 replies

Divorcequestions · 11/04/2018 15:12

Posting here for traffic

Friend going through divorce she has suffered emotional and financial abuse as well as domestic violence and sexual assault.

Solicitor promised she would explain what the court proceedings would be about before she went on holiday last Friday and said she hadhired a female barrister. Friend because of the abuse cant speak to men.

Friend was yesterday diagnosed with PTSD and trauma she is also dyslexic and has had a brain injury caused by stbexh running her over and is permanently disabled .

She calls the solicitor at 2 pm today only to find out that the female barrister isn't coming to the court tomorrow so they have hired a male barrister.

Friend is in a state she doesn't know which way to turn.

Anyone know what she can do in this sort of situation. I think friend is near to collapse.

OP posts:
wejammin · 11/04/2018 16:28

Check if the court has a PSU department, this is a support unit usually for litigants in person but they might be willing to sit in with the client and barrister in the circumstances.

Alittlesandwich · 11/04/2018 16:47

How is it possible to never interact with or speak to 50% of the population?

Shops, garages, jobs on the house, delivery people, librarians, Gp's, men in waiting rooms, on buses....

It would be literally impossible in my life unless I never EVER left the house.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 11/04/2018 17:01

It would be literally impossible in my life unless I never EVER left the house. Well, there you go. You know at least one instance when it might be possible. Just imagine how traumatised and vulnerable you would have to be to feel /live that way!

If you don't believe OP, could all you unbelievers just report it, please?

Alittlesandwich · 11/04/2018 17:11

I do believe her but she needs to get this court case over with to move on.

She may need to manage the situation she has found herself in rather than try to change it as that seems unlikely to happen.

PeanutbutterBuns · 11/04/2018 17:21

I do believe her but she needs to get this court case over with to move on

Yeah just get over it already lady Hmm

Are you always such a twat?

Original poster
Divorcequestions · 11/04/2018 17:22

We have talked to her and one of us is going to explain the situation to the Barrister and if she needs to add anything she can add it in.

I think it was the shock of thinking something was going to happen and then it wasn't.

She has to prepare herself for things otherwise she either loses it or worries herself stupid imagining the worse possible outcome. Because of her disability she likes to know the layout of the building and the entrances and exits and how she is going to get around. Otherwise her mind starts thinking what if I cant manage the stairs. What happens if this or that happens.
And then the melt down comes

OP posts:
greendale17 · 11/04/2018 17:23

What is she going to do if the judge is male? The security guards and other court staff?

blackteasplease · 11/04/2018 17:23

Does she know the name of the barristers chambers? she might be able to speak to their clerk and sort something out. The solicitors won't like it but who cares?

As faik it's quite usual for solicitors not to come as well if a barrister is going to keep the cost down. She should be allowed to speak to the person dealing on the phone of they are available though.

blackteasplease · 11/04/2018 17:24

I see you've come up with the idea of going with her which is very sensible!

YearOfYouRemember · 11/04/2018 17:26

I've been in a similar situation where several times things did not go to plan. I had to remind myself of why I was there, that I'd survived the worst thing and that I needed to do this. It's not easy but one just has to get through things. Life is shit and throws you a bag of crap at times but what else can you do but throw it back.

Good luck for your friend. She can do this. It will be a huge confidence boost and a step towards reality. She really can't go the rest of her life without ever interacting with a man.

YellowFlower201 · 11/04/2018 17:28

Good idea to go with her. She should email the solicitor to let them know so you don't have to explain tomorrow.

Andrewofgg · 11/04/2018 17:32

She will be in the court room with at least one man: STBXH. And if he is legally represented, which we are not told, his counsel may be male; that is not in her control or her solicitor's control either. If she gives evidence his counsel will be entitled to cross-examine her so the environment in which she has no interaction with men that perhaps she was hoping for was never going to happen.

Whether in such cases litigants should be allowed to specify a female (or indeed a male barrister) is another question. Very few would, but I can see the argument that individual litigants are entitled to counsel in whom they feel confidence and for some of them that means a (wo)man.

But that train left the station decades ago.

Original poster
Divorcequestions · 11/04/2018 17:32

I think I know every detail as I have spent the last 2 days reading out what the solicitor has written on her forms and writing her corrections and sorting through paperwork to show the evidence and what has been written on his forms and disputing it also with evidence.

Made worse because his solicitor has the worst spelling errors and grammar. Had to read a lot a few times to see what they were saying.

OP posts:
notapizzaeater · 11/04/2018 17:35

I hope everything goes ok for her tomorrow, she must be petrified. Just try reassuring her it's just one day

Original poster
Divorcequestions · 11/04/2018 17:43

Just as a heads up, all we know is this is a Financial hearing. Because of the domestic violence although not financial per se am I right in thinking that it is somewhat relevant as it impacts on the split of the matrimonial assets.
Also because of her disability (caused by stbexh)the family home is modified to her needs and again this is relevant.
Does the fact he has gambled away tens of thousands of £s in the last year impact on the split of money.
He has given up work.

OP posts:
LARLARLAND · 11/04/2018 17:47

It's always very unsettling when there is a last minute change in representation and I can understand that the OP's friend is feeling distressed. The fact is that she will have to interact with men other than whoever it is that represents her, when she goes through the court process. As others have said, the judge may be male, as well as the other side's solicitor/barrister. She will have to go through security, which again is likely to include male staff.
I wouldn't worry about her disability. A lot of court users, including solicitors and barrister are disabled and cope perfectly well.

SparklyMagpie · 11/04/2018 17:48

I cannot believe some of the comments left by posters on this thread,disgusting!

OP you sound an amazing friend and I'm sorry I can't really offer any advice, but I wish you both well and hope some sort of support can be put in place to support her where you can't x

Alittlesandwich · 11/04/2018 17:48

It will come down to his and her respective earning potential. So if in a recent post he earned 60 K say, that is his potential and will stand.

Courts generally take a very dim view of men giving up work in order to fuck over their ex spouses.

Queenie8 · 11/04/2018 18:06

For the Form E (the financial information form), you are required to produce 12 months bank statements, 12 months pay slips, property valuation and any other assets, you also need to project your expenditure for the next 12 months.

My exH left his well paid secure job to run his own business..... He hid all his earnings, through his girlfriend I suspect, but as they weren't married the judge couldn't request her bank statements. The judge said whatever money there was is now gone, there is nothing that can be done.

3 months later he moves back to a well paid job. ExH had already broken the financial consent order, I had no money left to fight him in court, but I did pursue him through CSA, and he now pays.

Be prepared for a tough judge.

diddl · 11/04/2018 18:19

So this guy deliberately ran her over & she has to face him in court to sort out the financials for a divorce settlement?

Surely he shouldn't be allowed anywhere near her?

Bluetoo1 · 11/04/2018 18:39

I don't know about courts but surely there is info available on her medical conditions whcih could be stuck under the judges nose. I would have thought evidence of a recent diagnosis of PTSD might help explain her disposition in court and be considered quite important in sharing of assets/ house.

NorthernKnickers · 11/04/2018 18:47

Off topic a little...but how and why is this man not in prison? He ran her over? Deliberately? She is now disabled because of this? At the very least this must be a serious assault charge...if not attempted murder! 😡

Andrewofgg · 11/04/2018 18:57

They are in litigation together. He cannot be excluded.

CircleSquareCircleSquare · 11/04/2018 19:07

Your poor, poor friend!
I have been in a place in my life where I have had the same fear.
Gosh I really feel for her.
Some of the comments on here are so uncaring.

greenberet · 11/04/2018 19:35

@Lastoftheusernames - if you want your solicitor there and can afford to do so it helps - I found the hearing that ops friend attending pretty traumatic - first time in court etc and my ex was v aggressive with his barrister - having sol there who had my back kept pressure off me

Sols holiday may well have been booked in advance but no excuse for not talking her client through process before she went - leaving her with a contact should anything unexpected happen or having a plan b to cover barrister

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