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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Myself and my partner.... AIBU?

75 replies

JustVent · 11/04/2018 10:55

It’s my partner and I......!

Whenever I read ‘myself’ I fee like it’s someone trying to sound literate but failing spectacularly.

Same as “please contact myself.”

No.

OP posts:
SerenDippitty · 11/04/2018 11:11

It’s never correct to start a sentence with the word myself. Unless you are describing the word itself e.g. “Myself is a pronoun”.

sweetsweetlovin · 11/04/2018 11:13

Myself is reflexive.

I also get irrationally annoyed when people get i and me mixed up.

E.G

"Please give the letters to John and I"

Nooooooooooooooo!!!

It's

"Please give the letters to John and me."

SerenDippitty · 11/04/2018 11:17

So do I. You wouldn’t say “Please give the letters to I” therefore you don’t say “Please give the letters to John and I”.

HollowTalk · 11/04/2018 11:21

Whenever there's a police officer on TV, you'll find the use of an inappropriate 'myself.'

DullAndOld · 11/04/2018 11:23

it might NOT be 'my partner and I' though, it depends on the case. (ie whether it is nominative or accusative). It could be 'me and my partner'.

But yes myself knows what yourself means by the irritating use of reflexive pronouns. Telephone sales people always do it.,..

DullAndOld · 11/04/2018 11:24

Some people who think they have excellent English skills, insist that it is always 'John and I' which is equally irritating tbh.

Frogthefrog · 11/04/2018 11:26

Yes this makes me irrationally angry! Or when I hear colleagues on the phone at work - "Can I just take a few details from yourself?" Angry

MonkeyPoke · 11/04/2018 11:28

In all my years of schooling (which in fairness I didn't pay that much attention), I didn't 'get' the me/I difference until someone explained that if you remove the other party it should still make sense.

Internet forums have done more for my written English than any teacher 😂

Jaimx86 · 11/04/2018 11:28

I agree with you, Op. It makes me cringe!

borlottibeans · 11/04/2018 11:30

I think some people think it's the 'proper' way to say it because someone banged on to them once about not saying 'my husband and me'. I know language is fluid and meaning develops through usage etc etc but this really winds me up because I know they're thinking I'm being inappropriately informal when I use the word 'me' for any reason and they're WRONG WRONG WRONG.

Lobsterquadrille2 · 11/04/2018 11:31

I could not agree with you more. It's the cold calling that especially annoys me (in a work context): "is it yourself who deals with company insurance?"

Arghh!!!!

makingtime · 11/04/2018 11:34

it might NOT be 'my partner and I' though, it depends on the case. (ie whether it is nominative or accusative). It could be 'me and my partner'.

It's never "me and my partner". If it's "me" rather than "I", it's "my partner and me"

DullAndOld · 11/04/2018 11:35

it could be 'me and my partner' though. Who says it can't? Depends who is most important in the situation.

JeNeBaguetteRien · 11/04/2018 11:36

Borlotti got it in one. Some colleagues use an abundant sprinkling of "myself" in emails and I know they are judging I me when I correctly use "and me".

Itsnotmesothere · 11/04/2018 11:39

As some others have pointed out it's reflexive.
I taught myself to knit. Correct.
Myself and my partner would like to thank everyone... So wrong! Arghhhhh.
It's become really common.

HollowTalk · 11/04/2018 11:41

it might NOT be 'my partner and I' though, it depends on the case. (ie whether it is nominative or accusative). It could be 'me and my partner'.

It would NEVER be 'me and my partner.' Always put your partner first! So if you said, "My friend came to visit my partner and me" that would be right - you'd never say, "My friend came to visit me and my partner." Or you might say it, but you'd be wrong!

HollowTalk · 11/04/2018 11:41

It doesn't matter who's more important!

DullAndOld · 11/04/2018 11:43

no i would be perfectly correct, if I was more important than my partner in the situation.
Think about it a bit instead of sticking to some "rule" that your English teacher invented in year 5.

DullAndOld · 11/04/2018 11:44

sorry i should have put 'correct' in quotation marks as in fact there is no academy of English.

Trinity66 · 11/04/2018 11:45

People who constantly pick other peoples grammar annoy me more.

Lobsterquadrille2 · 11/04/2018 11:45

No, you always put yourself last. It's not related to whether you are "more important" or not.

MammaTJ · 11/04/2018 11:46

John and I. Whenever there is confusion about whether to use myself or I, take the John and out and see if I works on its own. If it does, then it is the correct use of John and I!

EBearhug · 11/04/2018 11:46

I had a mail this morning, "This would be helpful for my team and I."

I have not responded with "for I?" (and then complained we don't have a raised eyebrow emoji at work.) But I have thought it and judged the person who sent it, and I don't care if that makes me a bad person.

DullAndOld · 11/04/2018 11:47

OK then so next time you hear someone say 'me and John' you can correct them and sound like a tit.

makingtime · 11/04/2018 11:49

What's the difference between you commenting negatively on people's use of "myself" and others commenting negatively on your use of "my and my partner"? Both are wrong. Unlikely anyone would pick you up on it but it's wrong nonetheless. And if it was a rule invented by a Y5 English teacher, an awful lot of people in the country must have had the same English teacher...

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