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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to want to wear a wedding dress??

96 replies

carolinegoescrazy · 11/04/2018 09:17

Hi everyone, shamelessly posting here for traffic but in a bit of a nice dilemma and need some honest advice! No faffing, just plain advice. As a "mature" bride to be (mid to late 40's) would I be unreasonable to wear a white/cream/blush coloured long wedding dress? I'm not going full out meringue, just something with sleeves, quite plain.

I was judged at work for not ruling this out, i'm a bit too young for a "naice" cream trouser suit!

OP posts:
Cliveybaby · 11/04/2018 13:18

Well "officially" doesn't white symbolise being "pure" and "virginal"...?
So if you go by that, almost nobody should wear white! - yet they all do!
Do whatever you want!

Maryannesingleton · 11/04/2018 13:21

Thanks Cantaana, that’s interesting to hear, I suppose I did think that as it was a bit more ‘appropriate’. Good luck carolinegoescrazy and knock em dead in your beautiful wedding dress YADNBU

TheJoyOfSox · 11/04/2018 13:26

I was a 50year old when I married for the second time. Having never had a wedding the first time, we just went to the registry office, no wedding dress, no cars, no photographer, no fuss my now DH was determined I was going to get the full bridal experience this time.

So I was very, very unsure when dress hunting as to whether to go for a ‘proper’ wedding dress or not.

In the end I thought “sod it, I’ve never had a wedding before, so I’m sure as heck having one this time” and I am so glad that I did.

I knew I didn’t want strapless, but other than wanting to have straps or sleeves I was very unsure as to what I could ‘get away with’ eventually I found the one, much harder to find the dress than it is to find the husband.

If you know what suits you, and you can take a trusted friend, sister, parent etc to give honest advice, then I say go for it. You only do the big wedding once, so let the world and it’s mother know it’s your big day and enjoy your dress.

I’ve attached a photo of me in my dress, as I say I was 50, so you are much younger than me. My only piece of advice would be, don’t go strapless, I think strapless looks fine on young and skinny, not so good on the more mature bride.

to want to wear a wedding dress??
QuiteChic · 11/04/2018 13:36

Surly Valentine, I would have so dearly loved to have worn a dress like yours, but I got married in the late 80's and ended up with something hideous.

FlirtyRomanticToast · 11/04/2018 13:46

Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!
*sees you've decided to do it

Yay! 🎉 Enjoy your dress shopping.

Bluesmartiesarebest · 11/04/2018 13:46

YANBU

Are your judgy colleagues younger than you or just old crones who don't know anyone who's been married over the age of 35? Honestly, if every bride over 40 stopped buying wedding dresses even more bridal shops would go out of business.

One of my family wore a calf length white, lace dress when she got married aged 75. She told everyone she decided not to wear a longer dress because if she tripped over, a broken hip would ruin her honeymoon Grin

PoorYorick · 11/04/2018 13:50

@TheJoyofSox, no way are you 50 in that pic???? What's your secret??? Gorgeous dress and you look incredible.

PoorYorick · 11/04/2018 13:52

Also, my aunt wore a strapless dress when she was MOG at my cousin's wedding a few years ago. She was in her 60s. I remember seeing the dress beforehand, and all of us pursed our mouths but were too British to say anything. Good thing we did, because she looked fucking stunning in it and not at all inappropriate. I don't know, it just looked much more subtle on her than on the hanger. She looked great and we were arseholes (but luckily, we'd been silent arseholes).

Try anything that interests you and just see how it goes.

Maryannesingleton · 11/04/2018 13:55

TheJoyofSox great advice and that’s so lovely to hear, you look great in that pic

Maryannesingleton · 11/04/2018 13:57

I want pictures I love to look at this time - last time they were a complete disaster

Elffederico · 11/04/2018 14:13

You would be unreasonable not to wear something wonderful!

Whenyouseeit · 11/04/2018 14:16

When my dad & stepmum got married she wore a beautiful wedding dress. It reflected her feelings on her marriage to my dad not daft expectations of what a 50 something woman should wear. Noone who'd judge ypu belongs near your wedding.

TheJoyOfSox · 11/04/2018 14:59

@PoorYorick, yes I was 50, I did want to get married a few months prior so I would be 49 and my now DH would be 50, But that never happened. I blame my dads great genes, he is very youthful (was mistaken for my husband more than once in his 50s)
Thank you for your kind words, and thanks to you too @Maryannesingleton

SurlyValentine · 11/04/2018 16:32

@QuiteChic Thank you so much! My DM did make me try on a few traditional style dresses but they just didn't suit me and I looked totally uncomfortable.

Do you want to buy it off me? Just for general posing about in? Grin

QuiteChic · 11/04/2018 16:41

Surly Valentine - in a heart beat - but I can't persuade the DH to renew his vows (despite having a shitty wedding day !) and DD is getting married next year and it might be seen as a bid odd if I bought yours for swanning about in !! Grin

KendalMintCakey · 12/04/2018 21:51

Laughing at idea that 20 year old virgins exist...

PoorYorick · 12/04/2018 22:03

Laughing at idea that 20 year old virgins exist...

I lost my virginity at 21. But I totally made up for it after the age of about 24. You wouldn't believe it of me now.

NoHunsHereHun · 12/04/2018 22:15

Got married for the second time last year as an almost 41 year old. My mum expected me to "find something in Reiss or Monsoon". I said not a chance and wore the most gorgeous strapless dress with a lace bolero and felt amazing. I wore a gorgeous dress the first time too, pretty sure you should wear what make YOU feel best!

Allthewaves · 12/04/2018 22:17

Any age bride can wear wedding dress

marymoosmum · 12/04/2018 22:36

If you want to wear a wedding dress wear a wedding dress. Who cares about your age, it is your wedding day, it is up to you what you wear, tell them to do one.

KendalMintCakey · 12/04/2018 22:47

wear the dress/outfit you want xx

21? all-girls school?

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