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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to wear a wedding dress??

96 replies

carolinegoescrazy · 11/04/2018 09:17

Hi everyone, shamelessly posting here for traffic but in a bit of a nice dilemma and need some honest advice! No faffing, just plain advice. As a "mature" bride to be (mid to late 40's) would I be unreasonable to wear a white/cream/blush coloured long wedding dress? I'm not going full out meringue, just something with sleeves, quite plain.

I was judged at work for not ruling this out, i'm a bit too young for a "naice" cream trouser suit!

OP posts:
GeekyWombat · 11/04/2018 09:49

Wear what you like, you're the one getting married and you'll look fab...

PS Downgrade the colleagues moaning to the evening do if they're lucky. Gits.

Loonoon · 11/04/2018 09:50

Of course you should wear a long white dress if that's what you want. If ever I get married again (unlikely as DH is in robust good health and I still quite like him), I would wear the dress of my dreams not some dreary age appropriate compromise.

pumpkinpie01 · 11/04/2018 09:51

Im 43 and am getting married in June, my dress is long, ivory , straps, lots of lace at the top, not meringue style at all but most definitely a wedding dress, the woman I bought it off was about my age too. My teenage daughter said I looked lovely and she is quite a good judge. However my mum seemed quite shocked when I told her I was wearing a wedding dress god knows what she thought I was going to wear!

madeyemoodysmum · 11/04/2018 09:53

Coco loco. That dress is lovely. I like that they have used a slightly older model too.

kateandme · 11/04/2018 09:56

no way! your getting wed.at whatever age your the same as any other bride to be.id love to see someone at 80 going full wedding gown.more respect to ya.go for it.feel beautiful in the gown you want.also even if it is full blown fluffy one.its your day to feel great!

MilkTrayLimeBarrel · 11/04/2018 09:57

Of course you should wear exactly what you like for YOUR wedding! I got married for the first time a couple of years ago and I am older than you! I wore a proper wedding dress which I loved (just a shame it is shoved in a box in the loft now, but that's another story!).

Bubbinsmakesthree · 11/04/2018 10:00

Wow it wouldn't even occur to me that a slightly older bride wouldn't wear a 'proper' wedding dress! Go for it!

TwittleBee · 11/04/2018 10:01

What an earth! Mid to Late 40s isn't even old! And anyone can wear a wedding dress as they are so classical!

I'm having just a no frills 2+2 Town Hall wedding next month and I have still bought a white wedding dress (from Chi Chi London, beautiful but only £70!)

Maryannesingleton · 11/04/2018 10:06

That’s a beautiful dress GreenTulips. I’m tall and apple shaped, and on a bit of a diet but i’ve Never had much of a waist so was thinking of a big skirt to balance out, but i need to try stuff on, that’s a bargain too. I’m determined to have a nice dress second time too as my dm talked me out of a proper dress when I was 27 and wanted me to wear a ‘nice suit’

Peacefulmama · 11/04/2018 10:06

YANBU a dozen times! It's YOUR wedding, you should wear what makes you feel special and beautiful! X

Chickychoccyegg · 11/04/2018 10:07

I would definitely wear a wedding dress if I were you, can't believe your colleagues were judging that - lots of people getting married at 40+ who wear wedding dresses!
Hope you have an amazing day, and lots of fun trying on loads of wedding dresses x

Ivegotnothing · 11/04/2018 10:07

Another vote for wear what you like...you will look lovely in a white dress. I did this when I was 40, it didn't feel too old at all. The thing is, you will never get the chance again, it's your one day to wear a lovely frock and you don't want regrets afterwards if you miss your chance. Enjoy yourself.

ICantCopeAnymore · 11/04/2018 10:08

Wear what you want - who cares what anyone else thinks! I wore a black evening dress Grin

corcaithecat · 11/04/2018 10:11

Go for it if that's what you fancy.
I hate wearing dresses so when I got married in my forties (1st and only marriage), I just bought a flowery day dress from Monsoon thinking I could at least wear it again, but I still hate dresses so it's still hanging in the wardrobe. I may as well as worn jeans and a T shirt. Confused

katmarie · 11/04/2018 10:11

Wear whatever you like. Make sure it fits well and you feel a billion dollars in it. And ignore anyone who has any opinion other than 'you look fabulous'. I'm 36 and getting married for the first time, in a fabulous full on bridal dress, and veil, and glitter ball shoes, and I can't wait!

Cistersaredoingitforthemselves · 11/04/2018 10:13

I got married for the third time at the age of 40.
Previous two weddings were registrar jobs in council buildings. Cost peanuts, wore something smart.

Third wedding was the whole hog ... I wore a proper wedding dress with veil etc. posh building with sit down meal a band etc.

I worried I would look like mutton but I felt amazing on the day and I stil look at the photos with joy.
Still married to number three over 10 yrs later and this marriage has lasted longer than the other two put together. Still in love.

I really fought with myself whether a proper dress was suitable but my sister said I must wear what I want .... I deserved it.

Good luck and I wish you all the best OP

morningconstitutional2017 · 11/04/2018 10:16

It's your day and you want to look special so wear what makes you happy. If other people want to make snippy comments that's rather mean of them. Have a great day.

NanFlanders · 11/04/2018 10:16

I loved wearing one at 38. And I am the least wedding-dressy person in the world (All my friends were predicting sparkly dungarees). Hope you have a fabulous day!

CiderwithBuda · 11/04/2018 10:17

Wear what you like! It’s your day. That dress that CocoLoco linked is absolutely stunning.

MagicFajita · 11/04/2018 10:19

I'm in my late thirties and wore a fifties style dress and irregular choice shoes for my wedding.

Wear what you like op. Don't bother inviting the opinionated colleagues.

Have a great day.

InfiniteSheldon · 11/04/2018 10:24

I got married at 45 in diamante encrusted ivory satin with a three foot train! I did have a wobble and tried the first few dresses on on my own as I was worried about being a bit mutton but fuck if you only do it once. or twice three four at most

FutureFairyCrayon · 11/04/2018 10:31

How the fuck did mid-forties become 'mature'?! I must have missed that particular memo.

Step away from the Ann Harvey pastel skirt suits and sensible shoes, and get yourself to a wedding dress shop. I'd steer away from anything too twee or super revealing, but otherwise go for it!

FlindersKeepers · 11/04/2018 10:52

I really need to stop reading wedding threads on MN, because the judgy comments about dresses or inviting kids etc make this newly engaged fortysomething almost dread the ceremony. Sad

carolinegoescrazy here's your Flowers now go get a frock you absolutely love!
(I am considering wearing local traditional dress, so there)

FizzingWhizzbee · 11/04/2018 10:53

Do it do it do it!!! Who cares what your colleagues think? They are 100% wrong anyway. Go full on meringue if that's what you want. You'll look stunning whatever you choose.

If I have anything to say about it, I won't be having another wedding (hopefully DH feels the sameSmile), but if I did, or if we every decide to renew our vows, I would 100% wear a wedding dress, because it was an absolute joy first time around. I'm in my 40s.

paap1975 · 11/04/2018 10:58

I'm 42 and I'm having a real wedding dress. It's not a huge meringue, but it's definitely a wedding dress. Wear what you want (and try lots of different styles when you go dress shopping)