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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Repeal the 8th

891 replies

SnowWhitesRestingBitchFace · 10/04/2018 20:30

So DH and I are currently visiting my DF and DStepM in Southern Ireland (where I grew up).

Just answered the door to a couple who are looking for support in the referendum and wanted us to pledge that we would vote no.

No for context I am just 6 weeks away from giving birth to DC3 (so clearly very heavily pregnant) and they still had the audacity to argue with me when I said I didn't agree with them and I supported any woman's right to decide what happens to her body.

They started trying to show me pictures of 10 week old babies in the womb (not necessary obviously in the circumstances) and weren't pleased that I didn't agree with them given that I'm carrying a baby myself.

I'm sorry I don't really have an actual AIBU I just wanted to rant a bit and show support for the people who have to face this absolute shit every day until the referendum. We're going home to the UK on Thursday so I won't have it all thrown in my face anymore but I just think the guilt tripping is horrendous 😞

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Juells · 11/04/2018 16:13

My local church is kept going by the Poles and the Keralans. Very few Irish that I see going in there.

Blackbirdblue30 · 11/04/2018 16:13

It also REALLY fucks me off that men have a vote about what women do with their own bodies.

Trinity66 · 11/04/2018 16:14

It also REALLY fucks me off that men have a vote about what women do with their own bodies.

Not only that but they seem to be the most vocal aswell on the No side

Blackbirdblue30 · 11/04/2018 16:15

Went into a city centre church for an art reason. Timed it badly and there was a service on. No one attending was under about 70.

HughLauriesStubble · 11/04/2018 16:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Blackbirdblue30 · 11/04/2018 16:17

The angry little white boys holding up the graphic and factually incorrect no banners. I despise them. It's unconscionable that they have a vote.

VestaSheridan · 11/04/2018 16:22

I got a mouthful of abuse from an old bag regarding my repeal badge. We know that the older generation come out and vote in droves. And they are the brainwashed by the church generation

Don't be so sure. I've had several old dears tell me that its about time and they are voting yes. Some of the older generation have had abortions too, or know someone who has, or are or know someone who would have wanted or needed to had they been able.
My own MIL and most of her circle (70ish) are voting for YES.

OhCalamity · 11/04/2018 16:39

It's going to be very close.

I think some of the auld wans might surprise us - they are the ones that lived through the terror of getting 'themselves' pregnant and ending up in a mother and baby home, or having kid after kid because of a lack of contraception, or have birth injuries. They've seen the men of their decades on this earth skip off scott free from their responsibilities and the women around them shoulder the burden.

It's men that are predominantly vocally against repealing, and a lot of those have little regard for religion. My own atheist DP is one of those who will likely be voting to keep the 8th, and that's something that's been extremely disillusioning for me.

It's easy for men to say we don't need abortion. They aren't the ones sweating in a loo praying to whoever will listen that the second line doesn't appear. I guarantee that if child maintenance was a % of their salary taken at source or else jail, they'd soon be clamouring for our rights to terminate.

Blackbirdblue30 · 11/04/2018 16:45

Have you looked any of the Save the 8th pages on FB? The comments are all from men, God-people, and seemingly intellectually challenged women. But predominantly men. It's scary.

squoosh · 11/04/2018 16:51

One of my brothers (mid 40s) who is generally pretty apathetic when it comes to political issues has surprised me by being vehemently for Yes. ‘Medieval’ is the word he used to describe the current situation.

Trinity66 · 11/04/2018 16:52

Have you looked any of the Save the 8th pages on FB? The comments are all from men, God-people, and seemingly intellectually challenged women. But predominantly men. It's scary.

I haven't looked at those pages but from what I've seen and heard it seems to be older men, not very old men but maybe mid to late 30's upwards. The younger guys seem to be pretty supportive from what I've seen (generally speaking obviously)

VestaSheridan · 11/04/2018 16:52

My own atheist DP is one of those who will likely be voting to keep the 8th, and that's something that's been extremely disillusioning for me

I'm not being flippant when I tell you that I'm not sure my 20 odd year marriage could survive that. Something so important to me...honestly, I don't see how I could get past it.

squoosh · 11/04/2018 16:54

Me too. I'd have a hard time being with a partner who was against repealing. But I suppose you'd know their stance on that before settling down with them.

SparkyBlue · 11/04/2018 16:55

Calamity that's my experience as well. A lot of older women are less black and white and less judgmental.My very trendy gay male hairdresser is also strictly in the no camp and so are lots of his friends apparently so it really isn't anything to do with church influences.

StripySocksAndDocs · 11/04/2018 17:00

I would be going back to my hairdresser if they voted No. And I don't even have a vote. DH does: he's voting Yes, things would become strained between us if he wasn't.

Blackbirdblue30 · 11/04/2018 17:01

Personally, I'd dump someone who was anti-choice. His daughter if you have one could be the next Savita one day.

Doryismyname · 11/04/2018 17:01

Calamity I hope so. The older generation of women have sufffered the most awful things and have seen their friends, sisters, aunties and cousins also suffer. Many have carried secrets and terrible guilt for years. I hope that on the day these women will stand up and say never again.

ny20005 · 11/04/2018 17:05

I don't think I could get past that with a partner too

I do t think we discussed abortion or views but certainly not the ins & outs of the 8th amendment

I live in Scotland & certainly wouldn't have got past my dh voting no for independence

EightdaysaweekIloveu · 11/04/2018 17:05

More than 40% of Irish people go to church once a week

Where did you pluck that statistic from? The church? Hmm

I am Irish not from Dublin and none of my generation go to Church and I mean NONE.

Trinity66 · 11/04/2018 17:09

I am Irish not from Dublin and none of my generation go to Church and I mean NONE.

yep same here and I'm 39

Blackbirdblue30 · 11/04/2018 17:12

Same, I'm 34 and no-one goes to church except for weddings and funerals.

LaurieMarlow · 11/04/2018 17:14

Church attendance in Ireland is still higher than you might think.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.irishtimes.com/news/ireland/irish-news/ireland-remains-one-of-the-most-religious-countries-in-europe-1.3277010%3fmode=amp

European social survey puts it at 35.8% with a further 13% at once a month.

SnipSnipMrBurgess · 11/04/2018 17:16

I've threatened to remove one of those posters in our village if it's not down within 24 hours. It's opposite a school and no posters are allowed in our village anyway but I've been threatened with arrest. Is that likely?

OhCalamity · 11/04/2018 17:18

vesta, sqoosh - I'm struggling with it to be honest, and it's out of the blue. I've always known him to be pro-choice but perhaps like all of us, a referendum is making us examine our thinking a lot more. It's not even that it's a vote different from mine, it's how the 8th may affect me as a woman and that I'd expect my partner to support me if I was, say, pregnant and recently diagnosed with cancer.

I've a thread elsewhere about it so I'll not derail the thread further.

Doryismyname · 11/04/2018 17:19

@Laurie Where so they get these figures? It’s certainly not my experience.