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AIBU?

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Original poster

Repeal the 8th

891 replies

SnowWhitesRestingBitchFace · 10/04/2018 20:30

So DH and I are currently visiting my DF and DStepM in Southern Ireland (where I grew up).

Just answered the door to a couple who are looking for support in the referendum and wanted us to pledge that we would vote no.

No for context I am just 6 weeks away from giving birth to DC3 (so clearly very heavily pregnant) and they still had the audacity to argue with me when I said I didn't agree with them and I supported any woman's right to decide what happens to her body.

They started trying to show me pictures of 10 week old babies in the womb (not necessary obviously in the circumstances) and weren't pleased that I didn't agree with them given that I'm carrying a baby myself.

I'm sorry I don't really have an actual AIBU I just wanted to rant a bit and show support for the people who have to face this absolute shit every day until the referendum. We're going home to the UK on Thursday so I won't have it all thrown in my face anymore but I just think the guilt tripping is horrendous 😞

OP posts:
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wisenedowl · 10/04/2018 21:52

What gets me the most about this type of referendum is that the men get to vote on whether women should have the choice of what to do to women's bodies! I know, I know it would be too controversial, difficult, etc to implement a women's only referendum on this and I'm clearly pro-choice. But if you do bring something like this to a referendum (as opposed to legislating for it as an absolute right for any woman to make up her own mind, which in an ideal world is what should have been done), then why the heck does the male population get to decide whether women can or cannot choose, when the men will never experience a pregnancy and labour (and if the couple doesn't work out, only end up "left holding the baby" in a minority of cases). It's in the same order of magnitude of injustice as the a rape victim having to prove that s/he definitely did not consent to sex, rather than putting the onus on the accused to show beyond reasonable doubt that they definitely sought and obtained consent to sex. Sorry, didn't mean to hijack, rant over!

Original poster
SnowWhitesRestingBitchFace · 10/04/2018 21:53

@wisenedowl I agree completely. I even said the same to DH earlier.

OP posts:
squoosh · 10/04/2018 21:54

x post Trinity Smile

And don't forget Kilkenny.

Trinity66 · 10/04/2018 21:56

wisenedowl I agree, whenever I've heard anyone make that argument though the counter was "Well then if a man wants the woman to have an abortion and she doesn't then they should have the right not to pay maintenance"

LaurieMarlow · 10/04/2018 21:57

The Dublin figures happened to stand out most in those stats, which is the only reason I drew attention to them.

Trinity66 · 10/04/2018 21:58

And don't forget Kilkenny.

woops sorry, I always forget about Kilkenny Blush

FlaminYon · 10/04/2018 21:58

Yet you can’t get a death cert for a baby born less than 24 weeks gestation because it never existed in the eyes of the state. You can’t bury your child less than 24 weeks gestation because it wasn’t a baby in the eyes of the church. Some women have snook into graveyards at night to bury the babies they’ve miscarried. Makes me sick they then get to have a say in what I do with my body Angry

Agree pro-choice is NOT pro-abortion.

DwangelaForever · 10/04/2018 21:59

The leaflets they have are absolutely vile. I'm from Northern Ireland but I used to walk past the pro lifers outside the Mary stopes clinic every day and the pictures they used were very graphic and very triggering for me (I've had a MC)

I hope the referendum goes the right way and the dinosaurs in stormount have to take notice too. I've recently found out that in England Scotland and Wales all pregnant ladies are routinely screened for Down's syndrome and trisomy 13/18 where as they don't do it here unless you're considered high risk (older mother etc) as obviously there are no abortions here ..

squoosh · 10/04/2018 21:59

"Well then if a man wants the woman to have an abortion and she doesn't then they should have the right not to pay maintenance"

Hate that argument.

Their worries about paying maintenance should be processed before they put their penis inside a vagina.

LaurieMarlow · 10/04/2018 21:59

Well then if a man wants the woman to have an abortion and she doesn't then they should have the right not to pay maintenance

Yeah, I've heard the term 'financial abortion' bandied about on this site. Not in relation to Ireland in particular, but still horrific.

ThatEscalatedQuickly · 10/04/2018 22:01

Not to derail, but this is the first time I've seen someone call it 'Southern Ireland' and not get a pasting for it

Very true, even odder if the OP is Irish. No Irish person has ever used the phrase to my knowledge! Grin

I'm concerned about the outcome too. It's in no way a sure thing and the 'undecideds',who may really be the 'prefer not to say', will play a big part in the eventual result.

Trinity66 · 10/04/2018 22:01

*Hate that argument.

Their worries about paying maintenance should be processed before they put their penis inside a vagina.*

Yup

peanut2017 · 10/04/2018 22:02

@Tringley thanks for letting us know about that site. Will donate now.

My parents are staunch pro lifers and go on rallies. It's something I try not to get into with them as it turns into an argument.

Original poster
SnowWhitesRestingBitchFace · 10/04/2018 22:03

I'm definitely Irish 😄 I think I just worded it that way out of habit after living in the UK for the 6 years. I visit my DF often and when I saying I'm flying to Ireland I ALWAYS get asked southern or northern so just mentioned it straight off.

OP posts:
UnaMagdalena · 10/04/2018 22:06

this is nothing to do with dead beat dads though.

It'll be a yes to repeal from me, but not from my mother. :-(
Wish my 15 year old daughter could vote.

So many people came home to vote in the gay marriage referendum, it'd be lovely to see gay men come home and vote to repeal. I wonder if that'll happen...............

SparkyBlue · 10/04/2018 22:08

To be brutally honest in real life I suspect a lot of women I know are going to vote no and these are all normal and average women from late teens onwards . I don't think anyone will admit publicly to being a no voter.

Trinity66 · 10/04/2018 22:09

Wish my 15 year old daughter could vote

I know, it'll be her generation that it will effect. Thankfully my own daughter is just about able to she's 18 the day before registration closes, she's so happy she gets to have her say

squoosh · 10/04/2018 22:09

You have my sympathies, peanut. It would drive me to distraction if a close family member was a staunch pro lifer.

Corcra · 10/04/2018 22:12

I'm in the west of Ireland and I'm seeing and hearing yes to repealing but I feel a bit nervous. I think it will be close too. I think older people are better at getting out to vote and there's your divide.
Also agree, men harping on against something that they'll never experience pisses me right off.

peanut2017 · 10/04/2018 22:13

@squoosh yeah it's very sad and definitely causes a rift between us. Especially as I have personal experience of this which I can never share with them or be really visibly supportive like I would like to be. I would love to be more involved but I'm afraid. How sad is that

Tringley · 10/04/2018 22:14

@Tringley thanks for letting us know about that site. Will donate now.

The link is here if anyone is interested in just watching the figure climb. It's over €270k now. Pretty amazing for less than 14 hours of fundraising.

togetherforyes.causevox.com/?utm_source=twitter&utm_medium=post&utm_campaign=cf1

EightdaysaweekIloveu · 10/04/2018 22:15

Another yes here. Pro choice is my motto.

The American Pro-Lifers have landed. Raging that our local radio station had a interview with a spokesperson for an American pro-life group. I hate this term but please...,f**k off back to your own country.

Please please please please let it be repealed. I am very nervous though, not sure if it will be.

squoosh · 10/04/2018 22:15

My parents are in their seventies and go to mass every week, big believers, and all the rest of it. They're not enthused by the idea of easy access to abortion but they keep saying 'but something has to change' so I'm hopeful they'll end up voting Yes. As they did in the marriage ref after a fair bit of humming and hawing. I like to think they're a good barometer for their age group.

Trinity66 · 10/04/2018 22:17

Well my own mother is in her 60's and is voting Yes, she was really upset about the Savita case

squoosh · 10/04/2018 22:17

I'm sorry, peanut. That's a sad situation for you. I can fully understand though that avoiding discussing the topic altogether is a far less painful strategy in the long run. With some family members you just need to smile and nod and do your own thing when it comes to sticking a tick in the box.