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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Night in a hotel alone - AIBU?

112 replies

stickersstickerseverywhere · 10/04/2018 10:32

After several years of pregnancy, breastfeeding, sleepless nights with three children, I have a big birthday coming up, and decided to treat myself to a night in a posh hotel alone to relax. I actually posted in Chat asking for recommendations yesterday. But some friends and relatives have reacted strangely. Why would I not want to spend time with my family? Why would I not want to take my family? Why am I doing this instead of a weekend away with my family? Does my husband mind? What about the children?

For the record, I spend lots of time with my family. It's not an either/or situation - this doesn't impact upon family holiday plans, either time-wise or financially. My husband doesn't mind at all, same as I didn't mind on the occasions he's had nights away to do things he wants. As for the children, I'm sure they'll be fine with their perfectly capable father. He lets them eat more cake than I do, and watch more TV, so they'll be happy.

I'm not being unreasonable to do this am I?

OP posts:
WatchingFromTheWings · 10/04/2018 13:06

I did this recently. Went to a Travelodge a 2 hour drive away. Paid extra to book in early. I took wine and chocolate and cheese and biscuits. And bubble bath! It was heaven! Doing it again in September!

KarmaStar · 10/04/2018 13:08

Do it OP!!and enjoy every second.
Luxury room,deep hot bubble bath,being able to shut the door,or not having to!when you need the loo,no endless questions,no washing,wiping,cleaning,no shopping,cooking,no boring tv...no snoring!
Do it for all of us who can'tWineCakeSmile

Lifeaback · 10/04/2018 13:10

You aren't being unreasonable at all- not only will a night to yourself do you the world of good, it will benefit your family too as everyone knows a relaxed, well rested parent has more energy and patience for their family.

What is your budget for the hotel and what type of thing are you looking for? (Eg country Manor House hotel, modern inner city hotel, spa hotel) That might help us to recommend suitable hotels for you

user1487175389 · 10/04/2018 13:13

Who cares what they think? They can live their lives, you have to live yours.

Prepare to miss them, but also for it to go very quickly. You'll soon be back to the grindstone so try to enjoy it.

Frazzled2207 · 10/04/2018 13:15

I have two smalls and a big birthday coming up. Sounds like a grand plan.

natwebb79 · 10/04/2018 13:16

Don't you dare feel guilty! I ran the Manchester marathon yesterday mainly so I could book 2 nights alone in a Premier Inn. Drastic measures but it was bliss. Even if I couldn't move much yesterday.

Original poster
stickersstickerseverywhere · 10/04/2018 13:17

Let's all do it!

Thanks for the hotel suggestions, I'll have a proper look through them later. I think what I want is 4*+, definitely a bath, restaurant, maybe room service. Swimming pool and spa maybe, although I'd rather not be surrounded by hen parties. I don't mind between old fashioned manor house or modern very city type place. In fact, I did wonder about hotels in the actual City - might be less crowded on weekends as everything round there is closed, but I love wandering the deserted streets. Somewhere reachable by public transport would be best - don't want to have to worry about my bottle of champagne leaving me still over the limit the next day......

OP posts:
scrivette · 10/04/2018 13:17

Some people just don't like the idea of their own company, me on the other hand think it's a wonderful idea - enjoy!

Original poster
stickersstickerseverywhere · 10/04/2018 13:17

Oh, and budget for the person who asked is up to about £200 a night, but could go a little higher for something really special.

OP posts:
TammySwansonTwo · 10/04/2018 13:18

As a Mum to 18 month old twins with no family around, this is my literal fantasy. Fancy hotel, comfy bed, awesome room service. Yes. Do it.

flumpybear · 10/04/2018 13:21

I regularly do this!! I've even had holidays with my best friend without our husbands or kids too!!

If you go to a spa hotel you usually book in early afternoon, have included dinner that day, bed, breakfast and lunch the following day plus use of spa facilities most of that day too

I usually turn up about 2pm day 1 and check out early evening day 2 (so 1 night stay only) - does me the bloody world of good!

Enjoy! Wink

Screaminginsideme · 10/04/2018 13:31

This is still my ideal birthday present

Womble75 · 10/04/2018 13:37

I did this when DC2 was 3 months old andDC1 was 4. DH sent me off fora decent nights sleep and to relax. It was bliss. I had a bath without interruptions, read, watched a film, ordered room service and just relished the quiet. Back home the next day so refreshed and a lot more relaxed! Enjoy it!!

Mrstumbletap · 10/04/2018 13:47

YABU because....you are only going for one night. You have three children and a job, go for at least two nights!

Looking after children is hard, being a mum is hard and men are confident and say I’m going on a stag/golf/lads weekend. But women feel bad, it’s ridiculous. But I completely understand, last year I posted on here about going away abroad for a few days, and people replied with ‘do it!’ ‘I go twice a year’ etc.

So I did, I went last year and loved it and I’m currently writing this from my alone time mummy break abroad again, where I have spent 3 days recharging. Smile

LoudBatPerson · 10/04/2018 13:51

YANBU .... except maybe extend for a whole weekend ;)

The only benefit I find of trips away with work are quiet the peaceful evenings all by myself with a nice meal, glass of wine and a comfy hotel bed.

Allthewaves · 10/04/2018 13:54

My youngest just started school. I'm loving the time to myself (I work pt). It's bliss just to lie on the sofa and watch a box set - enjoy your break

MargoLovebutter · 10/04/2018 13:56

I've done this. It was absolute bliss! You can enjoy plenty of time with your family and celebrate your birthday with them too.

Have a fabulous, relaxing & peaceful birthday Flowers Cake

PeapodBurgundy · 10/04/2018 13:57

I did this for my Mam (I'm quite a bit older than my siblings). I paid a night in a hotel, I took my siblings shopping and they chose her some treats/junk food to take with her. One of her sistesr bought her a bottle of nice wine to take, the other bought her a voucher for the spa next door to the hotel, and my Nana bought her nice bath things and a scented candle. I babysat (she was a single Mam) for the night.

She thoroughly enjoyed herself, and came back feeling slightly more rested. As you can see by everyone else's' gifts, nobody in the family thought it was odd or unreasonable. They all thought she deserved a break and a treat.
We did the usual take away and birthday cake on her actual birthday, so we still celebrated with her.

PourMeAGlassOfMilk · 10/04/2018 14:10

When ds2 was about 1 I booked a residential cookery course for 2 nights. Just went by myself and it was wonderful. I so enjoyed being able to focus entirely on what i was doing then relaxing over the leisurely meals with wine and went to bed early to fully enjoy my uninterrupted sleep. It did me the world of good and i went home so refreshed and able to enjoy time with the children again. Go and enjoy yourself!

FrenchJunebug · 10/04/2018 14:40

I did it in London (where I live) for my 40th Birthday. It was bliss!! do it.

Kirta · 10/04/2018 15:04

@PeapodBurgundy that sounds so wonderful!

BitchQueen90 · 10/04/2018 15:14

I do this, I'm a single parent and DS goes to his dad's some weekends so I love a night away in a hotel. I go on weekend breaks by myself as well, I'm going to Amsterdam solo in July!

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 10/04/2018 15:16

It's your birthday, you can do what you want. Grin

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 10/04/2018 15:17

Doormat I'd don my tin hat if I were you! Grin

PeapodBurgundy · 10/04/2018 15:18

@kirta I did it because she would always say she was going to run off to a hotel for the night when she was at the end of her teather with us. Now I'm a parent myself, I realise it was as much of a lifeline as a gift! Haha. I hope my DC and family are as inadvertantly or indeed insightfully nice when they are older Grin