Night in a hotel alone - AIBU?

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After several years of pregnancy, breastfeeding, sleepless nights with three children, I have a big birthday coming up, and decided to treat myself to a night in a posh hotel alone to relax. I actually posted in Chat asking for recommendations yesterday. But some friends and relatives have reacted strangely. Why would I not want to spend time with my family? Why would I not want to take my family? Why am I doing this instead of a weekend away with my family? Does my husband mind? What about the children?

For the record, I spend lots of time with my family. It's not an either/or situation - this doesn't impact upon family holiday plans, either time-wise or financially. My husband doesn't mind at all, same as I didn't mind on the occasions he's had nights away to do things he wants. As for the children, I'm sure they'll be fine with their perfectly capable father. He lets them eat more cake than I do, and watch more TV, so they'll be happy.

I'm not being unreasonable to do this am I?

Sounds lovely!

When a family member was mentally ill I used to do this occasionally. I thought of it as self prescribed respite care.

I used to pick a hotel with an M&S foodhall nearby so I could stock up on chilled wine and picnic food and just hibernate for 24 hours.

Sounds perfect!! I think family members/work colleagues/etc are just plain jealous and won't admit it. Instead they put it back on you and the fact you will be 'neglecting' your DH and DCs. Don't listen to them and enjoy your time away.

I do this once a year and like the above poster pick a place near a m&s foodhall. I treat myself to a good book, some nice magazine, face mask etc. Love it

If you are South `London way I would suggest one of the sea front hotels in Brighton, perhaps the Hilton or Jury's? Not The Grand because there is building work going on. A sea view would be lovely for your awayaday.

Guilt? Sod that for a game of soldiers!

GO!! And make the most of it.

Your children will be with their father. They will be absolutely fine.

I book a hotel stay at least once a year. It's bliss. Time alone to think your own thoughts, and to be on your own schedule.

I'm seriously tempted doing this myself. Enjoy it, it sounds like you deserve it xxx

Do it!

When I've stopped bfing it's the first thing I'm going to do. Book a hotel for myself and spend a night away from them!

Yadnbu!

I do this regularly. In fact I'm booked for three whole nights away next month. I plan to go to Lindisfarne and just pottle about Northumbria a bit, have early nights and the telly to myself. I might take the laptop for a little light mumsnetting too

A friend of mine goes to the Stoke by Nayland hotel and Spa in Essex once a year, alone for a weekend for her birthday. Her DH works away a lot and it gives her a break from the kids and home life to relax and celebrate.

If I could afford it, I'd definitely do it!

Absolutely go for it OP, and have a fabulous time :)

I've got a night in a hotel to myself tonight!! Admittedly, its for a work course tomorrow but I cannot wait to have a shower without hearing 'Muuuummmm' and sleeping without MrBaz snoring. YANBU. Enjoy your night!

My recommendation would be to book somewhere in a town. When I did it I stayed in a fancy spa hotel in the middle of nowhere and I did get a bit bored. I'd have loved to have a wander round the shops or stop for a coffee that I could take an hour to drink!

an you not get someone to baby sit and take your DH too? I’m going to stay in a hotel for my 40th later this year but we’re going out for a meal together first.

pretty sure if the option was there and she wanted to do it she'd have thought of it.

I've done this lots, both when I had children and as they were growing up. Absolute luxury. I would always go for the most expensive I could afford, and make use of luxury bathrooms, have champagne sent up etc.
If you're into spas, pick somewhere that has a spa pool and perhaps treatments, like a massage which could be prebooked, for something to do while you're there. And take a couple of nice books.
Also somewhere with gorgeous grounds that you can walk around is also a consideration.....

South London - Rowhill Grange and Utopia Spa.
If you aren't interested in all the frills/cost of a spa then Premier Inns have wonderfully comfortable beds.

I did this for my 40th but lied and said I was meeting a friend. Just me, my skin care, my books, my lovely dressing gown and about 14 hours sleep :) BLISS.

I went to ragdale hall

- envy

If it was a no budget constraint I'd go to either Penny Hill Park, Bagshot or Cowarth Park, Ascot. If it was a midranger I'd go to Carey's Manor, New forest. Personally, I try to avoid places where there's lots of hen parties and I'm going to feel Iike a complete spanner on my own....so a city is nice. What about Bath? You've got the Thermae Spa there and can pop out and do shopping, see the sights etc.

Absolutely do it and enjoy yourself.

Sounds amazing, enjoy! I used to travel for work and really loved a night in a hotel on my own. A long bath with a good book and then room service is my idea of a perfect night :)

If you want to go into London for some shopping as well, Browns is fab and the spa is excellent

I did it once when I was under particularly bad levels of stress (almost contemplating giving up my career levels - very bad boss).

I took 2 days off work midweek, left home at the normal time on day 1, stopped for a country walk en route, and a coffee and cake as well. Had a swim and a massage that day, a long hot (uninterrupted) bath, G&T before dinner, glass of the recommended tasting wines with each course of dinner (accompanied by reading my book in peace), and a long sleep. Following day, relaxed breakfast, another swim and a facial, different walk, and meandered home via a garden centre (and more coffee/cake).

It did me an absolute POWER of good.

DD had a ball with DH, and didn't miss me any more than a regular night away for work. DH was fine about it. Boss raised his eyebrows but f**k him, my leave, my way to use it up (and I was taking hardly any due to his ridiculous demands).

I actually don't think most of my family even realized that I had done it until a couple of years later. a few raised eyebrows there too, but really, we all benefitted, and I was able to see work with somewhat refreshed eyes (and started asking forcefully rather than whispering about the need for a transfer!).

I’ve stayed in hotels alone a few times. It’s wonderful. Sometimes I’ll order room service and have my breakfast brought to me, or pop down to the bar for a cocktail and people watch for a bit.
Enjoy it!