Sex when you’re poorly

[NotUmbongoUnchained]

If your partner was ill (not contagiously ill) but just pretty much flipped out in bed for 4 days and asked for sex, would you do it?

Would it make you feel a bit “rapey”?
Or would it be fine because they asked.

It's a good way to kill time ...v boring being ill. Got to be some upside!

I agree that rapey was a vile expression for your DH to use.
Why would you want to risk making DH poorly?

It’s a valid question. Are they with it enough to give valid consent?

atsea NOT CONTAGIOUS

You look like you need a priest not a penis

I wouldn't fancy sex with someone so ill they can barely move, but then I don't even like sleeping in the bed next to someone who is ill, not worried about catching anything, I am just the least sympathetic person ever and DH breathes weird when he's ill and makes whimpering noises that really annoy me.

needs yes. Moments passed now, but I was just pondering on if I was being a dick for asking in the first place.

Yes but your not ill as such your disabled having flare up. Is that right? Cfs as in chronic fatigue

That's very different from being ill.

No

I just cannot have sex with a sick person.

This all feels a bit Chandler and Monica... try rubbing vapour-rub on in front of him - seemed to work for Monica!

@RainbowGlitterFairy my DH is the same about illness. I had sinusitis a couple of months ago and he actually shouted at me in the night for breathing weird! I told him to sod off to the sofa!

I’m not very sympathetic either! My child has a cough atm and it just fills me with hate

Yes I suppose CFS is a flair up. I always just call it being ill though.

Thing is if your to poorly to give valid consent it’s down to the person you ask to make that call.

Do they have a reasonable belief that you have given valid consent if not then yes it would be rape, if they did have a reasonable belief that you had given valid consent then no it wouldn’t be.

”You look like you need a priest not a penis.”

DP and I, we've both had ME for years. We didn't stop having sex just cos we feel like crap.
It's meant changes in how we have sex, rather than how often.
Maybe he just wants sex on his terms?

@starwishing - hungover sex is the best!

This thread's hilarious. Compare the comments when everyone assumed the man was asking for sex, and then when they realised it was the man saying no to sex. Like an AIBU micro case study!

btw, lost it at "priest not penis"

anne

That’s why I didn’t say who was who, as i wanted it to be fair.

Not I wasn't saying that to make you feel bad! I'm saying it so it's clear that your not ill in the traditional sense, like germy flu ill.

Disabled people have to work their whole life around their disabilities including their sex life

You know your body and how you can cope with the difficulties that you disabilities cause so it's you who can judge your capabilities at a given time.

🙄

ginky

It’s ok, I know what you meant

@randomuntrainedcuntowner I love hungover sex. It's literally the miracle cure! I used to secretly be happy when my ex came home after a big night out and was tipsy. It meant awesome sex the next day 😆 and pizza in bed! Unfortunately my husband doesn't follow this theory and needs training!

Weird. And weirder that you use the word rapey or your other half does and that you causally throw in there that you've been raped. Takes all sorts I suppose but it's all a bit vile.

I can’t do hungover sex as I’m usually fairly pukey

Morning sex in general is better though I feel!

lola it was in response to a poster saying that I didn’t know what rape was. Ummm, yes I very much do.

Anyway, this post ain’t about that word, it’s about whether I was being unreasonable.