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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

What age should a brother and sister stop sharing a bath?

55 replies

Naicegirlsdo · 09/04/2018 16:22

My children love sharing a bath together, but as they get older there’s less room in the tub and I’m wondering at what age they I should stop them sharing?

For context, there is a 2 year age gap. My eldest is a 7 year old girl and she loves to share with her 5 year old brother.

OP posts:

AnguaResurgam · 09/04/2018 16:23

When one of them objects.

Especially when using polysyllabic words to express that they no longer consent.

Unreasonableunreasonableness · 09/04/2018 16:23

When one of them gets uncomfortable and asks not to be bathed together.

MuddyForestWalks · 09/04/2018 16:24

Presumably if they start feeling uncomfortable/wanting more privacy they'll let you know?

ThedementedPenguin · 09/04/2018 16:25

I have been wondering this as my two share a bath. They are still quite young though ds (5) and dd (4) but it’s something I’ve thought on and off about.

GallicosCats · 09/04/2018 16:26

My guess is that your DD will start wanting to bathe/shower by herself in a year or so's time.

Saisong · 09/04/2018 16:28

When our eldest was approaching 10th birthday it became unmanageable. Not particularly for privacy reasons, but because they got too rowdy and splashing/arguments occured. They now bathe seperately, but still like to sit in and chat.

Situp · 09/04/2018 16:29

They will tell you when they don't want to anymore. DS is 8 and has started getting shy about communal changing rooms so I am sure the time will come when he wants to bathe alone.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 09/04/2018 16:41

They will let you know. My Mum used to stick me, my sister (18 months older than me) and my brother (7 years older) all in the same tub. After my sister made a grab for the 'tail on my brother's bottom' he made it clear he would not be sharing any more baths!

Chattymummyhere · 09/04/2018 16:42

My ds and dd shared till ds was 5 or 6. Now the dd’s sometimes share if they want to and will stop when they want to. I’ve never made them share though it’s always been the youngest wanting to get in with an older sibling to copy cat really.

MsVestibule · 09/04/2018 16:45

angua why do they need to use polysyllabic words to object? Surely 'I don't want to share a bath with him now' is enough ?

Witchend · 09/04/2018 16:45

DS and dd1 (7 years different) shared occasionally all the way up til when dd1 reached puberty. Always by mutual agreement. Dd2 hated sharing baths from a young age (she's in the middle) so almost never has shared a bath from when she was about 2yo upwards.

upsideup · 09/04/2018 16:46

When one of them is uncomfortable with it, 4 year old ds gets in the bath with his 22 year old sister, theres no age limit if they are both okay with it.

AnguaResurgam · 09/04/2018 17:01

I was teasing - articulacy as proxy measure for age (agree, works better when asking eloquently for something)

SweetMoon · 09/04/2018 17:01

When one of them objects. DD3(12) would sometimes share with dd5 (18 months) up to a few months ago when she decided not to anymore. DD2 refused to share with anyone from the age of 6, so each will be different.

Pinkvoid · 09/04/2018 17:06

As others said, when one objects. My DS decided at around 7.5 he wanted to bath alone (and that means not be bothered by me either.)

Grilledaubergines · 09/04/2018 17:09

With everyone else, when one of them no longer wants to share, be it son or daughter.

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 09/04/2018 17:11

My two race to get in the bath 1st & unfortunately for DD if it's her the cheeky sod which is DS isn't averse to hopping in with her so then has to be turfed out simply because there isn't enough room-they're 8 & 6.

Hastalapasta · 09/04/2018 17:11

My 3 still share, 4,6 and 8 seem happy enough, getting a bit squished though!

Happyandshiney · 09/04/2018 17:14

My ten year olds still share occasionally at their own request.

They are running out of room though!

They go through phases of requesting privacy which is of course always granted and then go back to happily running around the house naked again.

I suspect they’ll just naturally stop on their own.

InsomniacAnonymous · 09/04/2018 17:18

Is no one else amazed at the 22yr old and 4 yr old bathing together? Obviously they're both happy with it, but I just know that at 22 I wouldn't want a 4yr old in with me, I'd want the bath to myself. Mind you, I'm an only child, so sharing a bath at all is not something I've experienced.

Happyandshiney · 09/04/2018 17:24

Insomniac I would imagine that it’s an occasional thing for fun rather than a daily event.

I’m sure the 22yo gets plenty of opportunity to bathe alone should she want to.

Original poster

Naicegirlsdo · 09/04/2018 17:38

Thanks for all the replies.

My MIL is aghast that they still share. But she’s very repressed when it comes comes to nudity, I don’t think DP ever saw his siblings naked!

OP posts:

PrincessOfWolves · 09/04/2018 17:43

I have 6.5 yo B/G twins. They stopped sharing a bath about 3 months ago because they wanted privacy. They're big on privacy, they're at that age and also go swimming with school so I think privacy is something that's encouraged. They now have separate showers before bed.

Happyandshiney · 09/04/2018 17:53

Naice well people conduct their families in all sorts of ways!

I was amazed to discover that there are MNers whose children have never seen them named or shared a toilet cubical with them.

I’m mostly just impressed that they managed to maintain such levels of privacy in the face of intrepid small children

I’d try to avoid your MIL passing her hangups into the kids though.

Ski40 · 09/04/2018 18:17

My eldest daughter is 11 this week and she has no shame at all,🙈 she shares with my 3 year old no problem as she loves to play bubble fights with him. Not sure how long that will last.
My 7 year old boy is all the opposite, very self conscious and will only allow mummy to see him in the bath. Each kid is different and they will let you know when sharing is not OK any more. X

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