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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What age should a brother and sister stop sharing a bath?

55 replies

Naicegirlsdo · 09/04/2018 16:22

My children love sharing a bath together, but as they get older there’s less room in the tub and I’m wondering at what age they I should stop them sharing?

For context, there is a 2 year age gap. My eldest is a 7 year old girl and she loves to share with her 5 year old brother.

OP posts:
GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal · 09/04/2018 18:50

DD is 6, and has recently asked to stop sharing a bath with her little brother. Not for privacy reasons - they still run around naked in front of each other quite happily - but because she likes to stretch out and "have a relax" and she can't do that with a splashy 3 year old in there too!

immortalmarble · 09/04/2018 18:51

I think assuming they will speak up isn’t always the best way.

Viviennemary · 09/04/2018 18:57

I don't think I'd encourage sharing baths at all. . But up to around 5 or 6 is fine.

TenGinBottles · 09/04/2018 19:17

Mine are 8&6 and have just started to refuse to go in together.

Grilledaubergines · 09/04/2018 20:04

viviennemary for what reason?

NapQueen · 09/04/2018 20:07

Ours are 6 and 3 and ive started asking eldest "bath together or separatley tonight

Glug44 · 09/04/2018 20:09

They might not tell you they want to stop. Dn wanted to keep bathing with brother but wanted to wear them both to wear swimming costumes while doing it; they continued until she was eleven and he 8!

Marriedwithchildren5 · 09/04/2018 21:54

Dd 8 has said she no longer wants to share with ds 6. I have been asking her for a while as I wasn't too sure whether I just did it or waited for one of them to bring it up!

BikeRunSki · 09/04/2018 21:59

DS chose to start bathing/showering/changing alone around 7.

DD is 6.5 and has no such consciousness yet.

They have 3 year age gap.

Bouledeneige · 09/04/2018 22:00

My DS and DD carried on a lot later. Very innocent and jolly. Till about 10 and 8. Or maybe later.

BigDamnHero · 09/04/2018 22:02

I'm three years older than my brother. I think I was eight or nine when I asked to start having showers on my own instead. My parents were perfectly happy with this request.

I think carrying on until one or both of them would rather not is fine.

Fruitcorner123 · 09/04/2018 22:02

My oldest two are the same age ls as yours and still share and I was starting to wonder the same thing but they don't care yet and I am in no rush.

I suppose when they don't want to share the oldest might move to showering.

Sparklehead · 09/04/2018 22:10

My 3 still get in the bath together (DS4, DD6, DD8). I’m starting to encourage my eldest to have showers and wash her own hair, take a bit more responsibility etc but she’ll generally still opt to jump in with her siblings.

HippyChickMama · 09/04/2018 22:12

After my sister made a grab for the 'tail on my brother's bottom' he made it clear he would not be sharing any more baths! 

Nothing useful to add but that made me laugh @GreenFingersWouldBeHandy. 6 year age gap between my two and I told ds in the summer to come downstairs before he got dressed so I could put his sunscreen on and make sure I covered all of his arms. Ds (ASC and very literal) came down completely naked. Dd who is the younger of the two proceeded to grab and pull while gleefully shouting "ds has got a tail, I haven't got a tail! I want a tail!". Poor ds was mortified and much more concerned with covering up!

Ontheboardwalk · 09/04/2018 22:23

By the time one objects surely that means they’ve been uncomfortable before they voice their opinion?

We aren’t all in a tub in front of the fire or turning the emersion on surely? All have a quick shower on their own or enjoy a lovely relaxing soak in the tub - without your brothers and sisters.

Kirta · 09/04/2018 22:28

My daughter will only bathe with her brother if she wears her swimming costume! She's 7 and he's 5. Loves to play, but wants her privacy. We have hammered the pantasaurus song in our house! Grin

ScattyCharly · 09/04/2018 22:30

Mine stopped naturally when ds decided showers were quicker and baths were not necessary ever again. He showers in about 3 mins, he thinks washing is unnecessary. But they did share until they were quite old 9/10 because neither of them care about privacy even now. They will both happily walk around naked. A lot depends on whether they can/will wash their own hair. Easy for a parent to do for them in a bath but not in a shower dd has lots of hair and liked help with it

headoutofthesand · 09/04/2018 22:41

DD is 8 and DS is almost 6 and I'm encouraging separate baths as it looks like such a squash with them both in together and most bath times end up with one of them accidentally kicking the other in the face or similar. They're both vociferously objecting to this idea and I have asked them separately as well as together. They have also just chosen to share a bedroom. I think that they may as well continue to enjoy this whilst it lasts.

londonrach · 09/04/2018 22:44

When one tells you they dont want to. My sisters two...9 and 6 still do but might be last year. Def by secondary school

Happyandshiney · 09/04/2018 22:49

All have a quick shower on their own or enjoy a lovely relaxing soak in the tub - without your brothers and sisters.

You're forgetting that lots of children love sharing with their siblings.

My ten years olds do have both showers and baths on their own but they also sometimes enjoy sharing.

They'll be too big (literally too big) soon, I’m not going to stop them while they both still want to.

bellsbuss · 09/04/2018 22:58

Son was 7 and daughter 11, as soon as her she started developing she stopped up until then she would happily share and I didn't have a problem. Our 20 year old eldest daughter will have a bath with our youngest who is 2

AugustRose · 09/04/2018 23:04

DD2 stopped sharing the actual bath with DS2 when she was 8 and he was 4. However, she is now 11 and he is 7 and she is happy for him to be in the bathroom passing her stuff and generally getting water everywhere! That'll probably stop soon once she starts puberty.

blackteasplease · 09/04/2018 23:30

Might fight over the space at 9 and 4 so I try to discourage them from bathing together!

Winosaurus · 09/04/2018 23:46

We’re a very naked family so my kids don’t really feel a need for privacy of their body parts but they may as they get older.
Today me (tiny 5ft1 mummy 31yo) DD (8yo) and DS (3.5yo) were all in a bubble bath watching a film on the iPad and playing with boats/mermaids.
Nothing weird about it 🤷🏼‍♀️

TitaniasCloset · 10/04/2018 02:24

A friends husband shares the bath with his DS7. Is that normal? It shocked me but I was brought up in a very private house, nudity was not normal.