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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask her dog to stay away?

87 replies

Knitjob · 09/04/2018 14:52

I'm in Starbucks having a coffee. Sitting at a table for 4 waiting for a friend.
A woman with a big retriever type dog comes in and sits at the table for 4 beside me, on the side beside me so we are right next to each other.
I don't like dogs so I slid along the bench so I was at the other side of my table from the dog.
The dog then curled itself up under my table with its head on my bag.
I said "Excuse me, I'm sorry, I'm not very good with dogs. Would you mind keeping your dog under your table? Sorry, I know it's a bit pathetic of me."
She said "what is your problem? Dogs are allowed here you know. Do you want me to get the staff over?"
I said no it's fine, but could the dog maybe lie under your table?
After much huffing and puffing she eventually moved the dog.
WIBU? I don't think so but maybe I was?

OP posts:
Trinity66 · 09/04/2018 15:44

*The dog sounds lovely and well-behaved. What harm was he doing?

In any case, you were one person taking up a table for four, so in a dog-friendly cafe, one could argue that the unused space under "your" table could rightfully be utilized by a dog.*

Not everyone loves dogs, not everyone wants a dog slobering on their bag especially when it's not even their dog and they don't really like dogs, not everyone wants a dog under their table while they eat and drink........especially when they don't even like dogs..........

SweetMoon · 09/04/2018 15:44

YANBU she was doubley rude. Firstly for not moving the dog as soon as it went under your table and secondly for huffing and puffing about it when you asked her to move her dog.

user1andonly · 09/04/2018 15:45

Excuse me, I'm sorry, I'm not very good with dogs. Would you mind keeping your dog under your table? Sorry, I know it's a bit pathetic of me.

The only unreasonable bit you did was to apologise! You could have just said, "Excuse me, please move your dog under your own table, thanks." It's not like you expected her to leave the cafe - which would have been u.

It's not pathetic to not want someone's dog slobbering on your bag and there could be any reasons as to why you are nervous of them.

Chrys2017 · 09/04/2018 15:45

Anyone who's happy to put their bag down on a filthy cafe floor surely isn't going to be bothered about a little dog slobber.

WiddlinDiddling · 09/04/2018 15:47

Dog owner - would NOT allow my dog (or dogs sometimes I take TWO into Caffe Nero!) to socialise with some unknown human.

But some dog owners like some parents, are under the mistaken believe that their precious cherub is going to be adored and doted upon by the masses and is welcome anywhere.

YANBU.

Anyone however, suggesting dogs should not be in such places IS BU... dogs are almost always less irritating than humans.

SweetMoon · 09/04/2018 15:47

The dog sounds lovely and well-behaved. What harm was he doing?

Pretend that instead of a dog it was the ladies small child. Would that still be fine?

MrsJayy · 09/04/2018 15:48

I wouldn't go to a cafe with a filthy floor starbucks floors are clean enough for a handbag surely ?

stripesandsquares · 09/04/2018 15:49

I'm allergic to dogs and this really pisses me off when someone can't possibly understand that not everyone is in love with their beloved pooch!

You asked politely and YADNBU. I personally wish cafes wouldn't allow dogs in (unless they are guide dogs obviously).

Chrys2017 · 09/04/2018 15:51

Pretend that instead of a dog it was the ladies small child. Would that still be fine?
The difference is that the dog is required to stay on the floor. A small child lying on the floor underneath a table would be odd no matter who's table it was.
It wasn't as if the dog was sitting on her feet.

Chrys2017 · 09/04/2018 15:51

whose

JaniceBattersby · 09/04/2018 15:54

The dog sounds lovely and well-behaved. What harm was he doing?

So it’s ok if I let my two year old come and lie next to you when I’m having a coffee. He’ll have jam on his hands, mud all over his shoes and a snotty nose, but I’m sure you won’t mind a bit of those on your lovely leather handbag. When you ask me to move him, I’ll ask if I need to get the manager. FFS.

Chrys2017 · 09/04/2018 15:55

Considering the floor in question will most likely have food crumbs, dirt from people's shoes, and spilled coffee on it (not to mention dog slobber), I certainly wouldn't put my handbag down on it.
Handbag hooks, ladies!

Chrys2017 · 09/04/2018 15:58

So it’s ok if I let my two year old come and lie next to you when I’m having a coffee.

If I was in an establishment that encouraged children, I wouldn't consider it within my rights to complain about it. As long as he wasn't trying to lie on my lap!

stripesandsquares · 09/04/2018 15:58

@Chrys2017 obviously the rude dog owner Grin

OfficerVanHalen · 09/04/2018 15:59

ahahaha

there's always someone determined to be a dickhead on these threads isn't there

Chrys2017 · 09/04/2018 16:03

And there's always someone who resorts to ad hominem as soon as someone else's opinion differs from their own.

mzcracker · 09/04/2018 16:06

Awful person. Really grates on me when people think other people should love their dogs as much as they do.
I'm not a fan since being mauled by a dog at the age of 8.
Some dog owners can be really inconsiderate.
Ynbu op.

stellarfox · 09/04/2018 16:10

YANBU - we have a dog and I would apologise in this situation

SeaCabbage · 09/04/2018 16:11

Never call yourself pathetic Shock.

Making your request was great, but no need to put yourself down. Just ask clearly for what you want.

She sounds horrible.

FrancisCrawford · 09/04/2018 16:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SlothMama · 09/04/2018 16:17

YANBU I would move my dog immediately, not everyone likes dogs and her selfish behaviour is why a lot of places ban dogs.

itsalldyingout · 09/04/2018 16:18

I have a dog, but appreciate that not everyone likes them. I don't let her jump up or otherwise annoy people.

She's an idiot - you could have a dog allergy.

trulybadlydeeply · 09/04/2018 16:19

YADNBU OP.

I've seen what my dog tries to eat in the park... there's no way he'd be allowed his head on MY bag, let alone anyone else's.

ReanimatedSGB · 09/04/2018 16:19

To whichever twat said OP shouldn't have been at a table for 4 in the first place - OP was waiting for a friend. Unless the cafe was so rammed that Dogwoman had no option but to sit right by OP (btw Dogwoman and her stinky animal were also taking up a table for 4) then Dogwoman was being a twat right from the start.
I would not have started with 'Sorry', myself, would just have said 'Can you please keep your dog under your own table?'

missbattenburg · 09/04/2018 16:21

I would have huffed. At my dog for sneaking under the table where she had no right to be and me for not spotting it. I would have apologised profusely to the OP.

This.

I have a dog that I adore so much it's crazy. I still fully understand that not everyone can see just how brilliant he is Grin and that if he is going to lie under a table, it should be my table; if he is going to use a bag as a pillow, it should be my bag.

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