To not want updates from the person you have sold a pet to?

[AskinginApril]

Is this unreasonable?

Hard to say with so little detail. Is it because it's upsetting to you? If so I think it's ok to politely say 'thanks so much for thinking of me but it's actually easier for me not to be reminded'.

Oh dear. Our dog belonged to a family who were emigrating and I often send photos, they always seem delighted. They're coming to see him when back in the UK in the Autumn.

Just ask them not to. They're doing it for your benefit, to let you know the pet has settled, not for theirs.

I think updates are nice.

Depends on the pet and why you sold it. I love to see how old ponies are doing with new owners, but that's a happy sale. If I'd been forced to sell on a dog or something from homelessness/allergies or something similar, I wouldn't want to be reminded of happier times.

What pet did you sell, any why? Or are you put out by a request from a former owner?

Not unreasonable at all.

Why did you sell your pet? Need more details.

For what reason? Why wouldn’t you want updates? Because it’s upsetting you or because you aren’t really interested now?

I bought a kitten last year from a lovely lady who was utterly distraught at having to give him to a new home, she made me promise to send her updates every now and then. In the first year I sent 2 updates, both of which didn't get a response. She viewed the message almost immediately but didn't respond, so I haven't updated her since.
I feel a bit guilty as I know it must be hard to leave a pet but also feel a bit miffed! I spent my own time picking out good photos and sending them to her with a nice little message but she couldn't be bothered to reply. Clearly not that bothered! or maybe she was offended I didn't stick with the poor sods original name

utterly distraught at having to give him to a new home

Yeah, sure she was

The person we rescued our dog (via a rescue) from made getting updates a condition - I have no idea why the rescue encouraged her. I dutifully sent photos of him settling in his new home, walking in our local forest and playing on the beach, looking really happy. I then got a barrage of foul mouthed abuse saying it didn't prove anything. I cut contact after that, we just didn't need the stress, and the rescue agreed!

We kept the name for a dog we'd got from a rescue as the young child in the 'foster' family (for the rescue) had named her, and wanted updates and to visit her. They ignored all updates, and we gave up after a couple of years.

To answer your specific question, OP, it's not necessarily unreasonable BUT if I cared about the pet, and was rehoming them due to my circumstances at the time, I'd want the purchaser to promise to get in touch if they ever needed to rehome it again with me having first right of refusal. I might even get them to sign a simple contract to that effect. That's how a lot of rescue organisations work.

I bought a kitten last year from a lovely lady who was utterly distraught at having to give him to a new home

I fail to see why anyone distraught at having to rehome their pet would choose to receive money for it.

I fail to see why anyone distraught at having to rehome their pet would choose to receive money for it.

It gives a little bit of assurance that the pet isn't being picked up for nefarious purposes.

I had to rehome my beautiful German Shepherd in December, I was utterly distraught and sent a note to the new family with my email address asking for an update once she has settled in. They haven't updated which makes me sad but it's not my dog anymore, I would love to know she's ok though

Because giving animals away for free can often mean them going to a dangerous situation.

@Juells
@PancakeBum
Yup, utterly distraught. That or a shockingly good actress- she cried her eyes out in my front room for 20 minutes and at one point we thought she wasn't actually going to sell the kitten to us because of how upset she was getting.
As PP have said generally if you're selling it at least there's some reassurance that the buyer isn't going to pay out loads for a kitten just to chuck away/ whatever horrid things people do when hunting for free cats.

@Juells
@PancakeBum
Yup, utterly distraught. That or a shockingly good actress- she cried her eyes out in my front room for 20 minutes and at one point we thought she wasn't actually going to sell the kitten to us because of how upset she was getting.
As PP have said generally if you're selling it at least there's some reassurance that the buyer isn't going to pay out loads for a kitten just to chuck away/ whatever horrid things people do when hunting for free cats.

Pancake - common advice if you're rehoming a pet is to ask for money, as they're less likely to be picked up for fighting/bait/novelty etc.

ooops- posted that twice!

Why not give it to a rescue then?

We have rehomed several neglected pets (as in given them a home, not had our pets rehomed) but we've never been asked - they obviously didn't give a sh*t. We wouldn't have agreed anyway.

Asking for money for pets is a well known way of trying to weed out non-serious owners.

If you don't want updates, then tell them. Most people do, which is probably why they are sending them. Just tell them thanks, but you'd rather not receive any more.

I think it depends. I had to rehome my dog last year, he went back to the rescue I got him from (he had a lot of issues), I found it hard giving him up and they told me they would keep in touch and let me know when he has a new home. When I dropped him off they were horrible, made me feel guilty for bringing him back. They quickly took him from me and I have heard nothing since