Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Is it ever OK to snatch?

54 replies

PetitChoux · 09/04/2018 13:21

I have a bright 18 months old. He understands everything I tell him and has quite a large vocabulary. We communicate with words, not by pushing/pulling etc.

Some family members of DH visited last week. My son has a large number of toys and is good at sharing his toys. However there are a few items that are special to him and that he does not like to share (maybe 5 items in total).

The child (3.5 years) who came to visit wanted a specific toy A that my child was holding. The child's parent walked to my son and handed him toy B, with a view that my son would let go of toy A. Bearing in mind that both toys belong to my son, my son did not let go toy A. At this point, the child's parent literally started pulling toy A from my child's grip. My son was holding on tightly and that adult was pulling, and hurt my son! My son was upset because he was having his toy snatched from him, and he was also being hurt!!

I was so angry and said "we do not snatch from my son!" and stormed off. I called for my son to follow me, and he followed me away from the situation.

Now, as we visit these family members maybe once a month or every 2 months. I want to speak to the adult and explain to him that the way he interacted with my son was unacceptable! I do not teach my son to snatch and I would not expect an adult to snatch from him. My DH wants me to keep quiet for the sake of keeping peace.

What do you think?

OP posts:

bryheresse · 09/04/2018 13:23

I think you already made it clear how you felt.

Bringing it up again would seem a bit PFB to be honest.

HateSummer · 09/04/2018 13:24

"we do not snatch from my son!"

Are you the queen? 😂

Ohyesiam · 09/04/2018 13:24

Tell your husband to grow up. Of course you need to address it. You are in the right.

ichifanny · 09/04/2018 13:24

I think you acted like a bigger baby than the toddler , children snatch it’s up to adults to try teach them not to but thinking you have it nailed when your child is 18 months is laughable .

RedHelenB · 09/04/2018 13:25

Why storm off? That was unreasonable. My view is of you have visitors toys should be shared. I would have said my son us playing with this at the moment but your child can okay with it in a bit.

kaytee87 · 09/04/2018 13:25

I thought you were going to say a small Cipd snatched the toy, in which case I'd say 'meh, it happens'. An adult snatching a toy is not on! The adult should have explained to the 3.5yo that the 18mo was playing with that at the moment and to play with something else.
In what way was your child hurt? I'm surprised you left the room and only called your 18mo to you. If my toddler was hurt by an adult, I'd pick him up & comfort him then ask the adult what the hell they thought they were doing.

kaytee87 · 09/04/2018 13:26

@ichifanny the other parent snatched the toy, not the child. Unless I'm reading it wrongly.

kaytee87 · 09/04/2018 13:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KarmaStar · 09/04/2018 13:29

Have you spoken to this adult since op?
He was wrong to pull a toy from your little one's hands forcefully.
If you haven't spoken since there is nothing wrong in making contact and explaining how you felt at the time and clearing the air so neither party uncomfortable when you visit.

kaytee87 · 09/04/2018 13:29

I have a bright 18 months old. He understands everything I tell him and has quite a large vocabulary. We communicate with words, not by pushing/pulling etc.

This did make me laugh though you're not quite through the toddler years yet so don't count your chickens

Nothisispatrick · 09/04/2018 13:29

An adult snatching a toy for a child to try and give to their own child is pathetic, I definitely would've said something

Dvg · 09/04/2018 13:32

I thought it was the child that snatched and thought you were horrible but then re read it and OMG .. what adult snatches a toy out of a young childs hand??? as an adult you distract your child into wanting something else -_- i seriously get so annoyed with some peoples parenting

Anditstartsagain · 09/04/2018 13:34

The other adult was wrong but tbh you sound like a pfb nightmare and I wonder if your seeing what actually happened or maybe being a bit ott.

RepealMay25th · 09/04/2018 13:37

I was so angry and said "we do not snatch from my son!" and stormed off. I called for my son to follow me, and he followed me away from the situation

You handled that so badly.

TheFallenMadonna · 09/04/2018 13:38

The other adult trying to force a toy out of a child's hands is obviously wrong. But be careful you don't teach your son to communicate by flounce rather than words

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 09/04/2018 13:38

You need to get a grip. When he goes to nursery it'll be happening a thousand times a day.
I think you're being ridiculously precious.
I can't help thinking there must be more to this to want to start and carry on a fight over kids snatching.
Glad your child is a Saint who can share at 18 months as developmentally they don't have the skills to share until they're at least 2.5.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 09/04/2018 13:39

you're on about a 3 year old baby snatching and you're storming around like a 3 year old.
Grow up ffs

Cicera · 09/04/2018 13:40

You kinds fucked it up by stoming off. If you'd just said "Er, could you not snatch from a baby?" at the time, and then had any conversation following it would be dealt with. Bringing it up again will be weird and super awkward.

But given your reaction I doubt they'll do it again!

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 09/04/2018 13:40

Sorry if I've been too harsh but You did ask what we thought.

Wolfiefan · 09/04/2018 13:41

Why on earth did you storm off?
Was he actually injured?
Why didn't you step in before the adult wrestled the toy away from him?
Special toys? Keep them away from visitors.

magoria · 09/04/2018 13:42

It was the other parent not the child trying to get the toy off a child.

Not on.

You should have stepped in earlier and stopped them not called your DD away.

It is done now though so don't bring it up unless it reoccurs.

Quartz2208 · 09/04/2018 13:42

Maybe he was trying to negotiate between them in the hope it could come to a sensible resolution of sharing. The snatching was wrong but you are OTT as well.

Just put away any toys that are special - and one day he will snatch - if you think about it its an important part of learning when and when not to snatch

Cicera · 09/04/2018 13:43

@Awwlookatmybabyspider if you're going to be imperious at least read the post - it was an adult doing the snatching, not the child.

ZoeWashburne · 09/04/2018 13:43

So you shouted at the other parent? and then stormed off and called your child to follow like a puppy.

Sorry, that is cringe-y. I'm embarrassed for you.

The other parent shouldn't have taken it, but a simple "oh, DS really wants to keep that. Does your child want to play with X or Y".

Ivorbig1 · 09/04/2018 13:43

Sorry but this has made me smirk, —laugh—
The first sentence is funny, —smug—
The rest is a non event. The toddler years are over in flash, enjoy them.
This “—non— issue” is nothing compared to what awaits you as a parent. Toughen up.

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread