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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to wonder if anyone got on with their sibling(s) as a child?

71 replies

DrWhy · 08/04/2018 21:42

I’m pregnant and all being well will have a 2 year 2 month age gap between DS and his new sibling.
There is a 2 and half year age gap between myself and my sister, from what I recall and what I’ve been told I loathed her from the moment she came home from the hospital pretty much until I moved out to university. We get on well now but still wouldn’t choose to spend more than 3 days or so together! I sort of thought we were unusual but speaking to DH, he and his sister got on as children, fought as teens and now barely speak. Based on the last few threads I’ve seen on here about age gaps, no-one got on with their siblings as children regardless of gap. I had been hoping for a smaller one in case that helped but that ship has sailed.
Is there anyone out there with 2-3 years between them and their sibling who actually liked each other and have happy childhood memories of their sibling or am I about to ruin DSs life and set myself up for 18 years of refereeing?! I’m genuinely quite worried!!

OP posts:

jimsdoll · 08/04/2018 21:47

My sisters are my best friends. There is 2yr between myself and middle sister and then 3ys between them. We were close as kids and teenagers and I lived with one of them for a few years as adults. My dh has 2 siblings and he is close to them too.

jimsdoll · 08/04/2018 21:50

I'm sure we had our fights growing up as my two do now but nothing major. Thinking of all my good friends they are are close to their siblings

TheCriminalMind · 08/04/2018 21:50

I have 6 siblings (with the age gap of 2.5 years, 4 years, 6 years, 17 years, 18 years and 20 years).
I get on with all of them.
Although I am especially close to my brother (2.5 years). He’s a fantastic uncle to my DS and we do lots of things together (cinema, holidays, etc)
I think it depends on your child’s personalities and if they clash as I have said I get on with all my siblings but two of my siblings fight like cat and dog and have to be separated constantly 🤷🏼‍♀️

Catspaws · 08/04/2018 21:52

I always got on brilliantly with my siblings when we were all kids and they're still my best friends. There's 2 years between me and my sister and 3 between me and my brother. We had occasional spats and would fall out for a couple of hours but we always made up within a day, and we did loads of stuff together (parties, shoestring interrailing etc).

Trinity66 · 08/04/2018 21:57

I have 3 brothers (no sisters) the one who is 2 years younger than me and I got on really well and he's still one of my best friends now. There's a big age gap between me and the youngest one so we had a different kind of relationship but I adored him and still do, my older brother and I didn't really get along growing up but we do now.

As for my own kids I have a boy and a girl with a 4 year age gap) they didn't get along when they were kids but now they're teens they do

Hakarl · 08/04/2018 22:00

2 yrs and 7 months between me and my little brother and we were either at each other's throats as children or we were best friends.
There was definitely a lot of conflict and competition between us throughout our childhoods but we spent a lot of time playing together and having a brilliant time as well. Especially with our cousins or on holiday. As adults we are good mates and don't argue anymore (though we might if we lived together).
I am quite sure we drove our parents mad at times but he definitely had an overall positive impact on my childhood. I love him to bits, we have exactly the same sense of humour and there are few people I think really get me as well as my brother.

elQuintoConyo · 08/04/2018 22:01

Nope. Still don't. I have a sister 2 years older.

nocoolnamesleft · 08/04/2018 22:01

Pretty well actually. Don't get me wrong, we squabbled. But against any outsider we had each other's backs all the way.

LML83 · 08/04/2018 22:05

2yr age gap between me and my sister. When we look back the stories are of the fights and strops as that is the more interesting/funny stuff. Reality is we played with the same friends, walked to school together and had similar interests.

We were competitive over stupid things such as I had to go to bed 15 mins later as I am older and turns each for favourite seat in the car. But for the most part we got on really well.

Whatififall · 08/04/2018 22:05

Nope. I’m 3 years older than DB. There were no major fights but we had nothing in common and we’d bicker endlessly. We could also go days just ignoring each other.

Our relationship only improved when I moved out to go to university. So probably 18 & 15 and 100 miles between us to tolerate each other.

We’re close now though and our children are good friends.

BikeRunSki · 08/04/2018 22:07

I’ve never got on with my younger sister (3y 8m younger).
I’ve always got on with my brothers like a house on fire (5.5 and 8.5 years older than me).

DrunkUnicorn · 08/04/2018 22:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MuddyForestWalks · 08/04/2018 22:10

Pretty much always got on with my sister (3 year age gap) and now she is my very best friend and supporter.

whippetwoman · 08/04/2018 22:10

Yes, I always got on incredibly well with my younger brother and there are 2 yrs 9 months between us. I was so surprised when my older two didn’t get on, for some reason I assumed they would adore each other just like I adored my brother.

phoolani · 08/04/2018 22:10

Never got on with my brother as a child (3.5 year gap) but we are soon different, we're almost from different planets. the wonder is that now, whilst we don't see each other often and have completely different worldviews still, there is a genuine deep bond of affection. we both know that if the chips were really down we could rely on each other in a really fundamental way. i don't honestly think the age gap is in any way decisive tbh.

feral · 08/04/2018 22:11

3yrs 7mths between me and my sister.

Apparently I tried to kills her several times when she was a baby. Never got on when we lived under the same roof.

Once we I over out of home it all changed and she's my closest friend now, love her to pieces.

pepperpop · 08/04/2018 22:13

I've always got on really well with DB, he's 5 years older than me

Original poster

DrWhy · 08/04/2018 22:15

Quite a range of stories, relieved to see that there are at least a few positive ones!
There doesn’t seem to be any common theme in terms of the age gap so it makes me wonder what it does depend on how well children get on. Is it purely personality or something about how they are parented too...? I am hoping there is something I can do to help make it more positive! DS is my world at the moment and I don’t want to ruin his life!!

OP posts:

Floralnomad · 08/04/2018 22:16

I have a sister who is 17 months older than me and we have been best friends forever and we are in our 50s now .

physicsisfun1 · 08/04/2018 22:17

Got on great with my sister, 3 year gap,she even hung out with my friends.

Mamabear1475 · 08/04/2018 22:17

I got on with my brother. There was two years between us. We had a great laugh. We did argue but made up the next day every time. I don't speak to him now though. Not for 6 years. He grew up to be a prick.

BonnieF · 08/04/2018 22:19

I got on ok with my younger brother. He’s 2 and a bit years younger, but with the way our birthdays fell, 3 school years apart. This amplified the age gap. He had his action men, comics and toy soldiers. I had my books.

We were then, and still are, very different people with very different interests. The reality is that if we were not siblings, we would have little in common, different lives, and we probably wouldn’t be friends.

Cuppaand2biscuits · 08/04/2018 22:19

I have a brother and a sister, my mum had us all within 5 years. We've always all got along really well. Can never remember anything other than bickering, definitely nothing physical. We were always on the same team where lots of our friends were always telling tales on their siblings.
We're all still very close now.
My kids are 4 and 7 and have always adored each other.

Hakarl · 08/04/2018 22:22

Oh and we have a 2 yr 2 month gap between our two as well. So far it's going quite well and DD is very sweet with her little brother (and he adores her) but he's only 8 months old so..

Once he becomes a toddler with his own opinions and agenda I am quite sure there will be some big changes to their relationship.

theeyeofthestormchaser · 08/04/2018 22:23

My sister (2.5 years younger) is my best friend. We got on well as dc too - usually...

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