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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to wonder if anyone got on with their sibling(s) as a child?

71 replies

DrWhy · 08/04/2018 21:42

I’m pregnant and all being well will have a 2 year 2 month age gap between DS and his new sibling.
There is a 2 and half year age gap between myself and my sister, from what I recall and what I’ve been told I loathed her from the moment she came home from the hospital pretty much until I moved out to university. We get on well now but still wouldn’t choose to spend more than 3 days or so together! I sort of thought we were unusual but speaking to DH, he and his sister got on as children, fought as teens and now barely speak. Based on the last few threads I’ve seen on here about age gaps, no-one got on with their siblings as children regardless of gap. I had been hoping for a smaller one in case that helped but that ship has sailed.
Is there anyone out there with 2-3 years between them and their sibling who actually liked each other and have happy childhood memories of their sibling or am I about to ruin DSs life and set myself up for 18 years of refereeing?! I’m genuinely quite worried!!

OP posts:
Soph88 · 08/04/2018 22:24

I get on great with my brother, 2 year age gap. As children we obviously had our fights but nothing major. We are very similar though, personality wise, have the same view on life and same sense of humour. He did like to try and be the third parent growing but my parents would always step in.

MrsCatE · 08/04/2018 22:25

Never got on. Two older brothers, lots of bullying and more. Both now pathetic money grabbing bastards. I used to blame evil SILs for their horrible behaviour and living well beyond their means (then coming begging, pleading poverty) but obviously, they're complicit in these behaviours.

AddictiveCereal · 08/04/2018 22:32

I have the exact same age gap between my two and they have always got on really well. My eldest is now 9. They play together happily all day and have occassional fights that blow over within 5 minutes. My two seem to enjoy doing the same things together but I'm not sure is that due to personality or is it because they became more similar by spending so much time with each other. I hope they stay as close when they get older.

It's a good age gap as they are both interested in the same films, computer games, days out etc. The seem the same age when they are chatting to each other as the gap between them really narrows once the youngest is no longer a toddler.
Most people I know seem to have a similar age gap between siblings.

Merryfeckingchristmas · 08/04/2018 22:32

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Merryfeckingchristmas · 08/04/2018 22:32

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Merryfeckingchristmas · 08/04/2018 22:32

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phoolani · 08/04/2018 22:34

OP the best thing i did with when ds was born was tell dd (3) that she was allowed to find him annoying and boring! she had been behaving really badly because her nose was massively out of joint but as soon as i 'gave her permission' to have her negative feelings towards him, she changed completely and it was all 'he's a bit boring, isn't he mummy, but he's cute as well, and he will get more interesting, won't he?'

SingingSands · 08/04/2018 22:35

There are 2years 2 months between me and my younger brother.

The only time we got on together was on our annual 2 week summer holiday to the outer Hebrides because there was nobody else to play with!

We would have the most awful physical fights. I remember being completely bruised all down my left side from armpit to knee after one particularly harsh battering from him as a teenager.

Believeitornot · 08/04/2018 22:36

We have a 2.2 year gap. They get on well unless tired/hungry/ill etc.

I also got on well with my brother although yes we fought at times.

toffee1000 · 08/04/2018 22:40

Nearly 4 years between me and DB (I'm older). We get on. We do annoy each other, but we're still fairly close.
Mum is a younger sibling, her sister is 22 months older. They get along fairly well although Mum does find her sister annoying sometimes.
Dad has two younger sisters, one is 2 years 8 months younger and the other is 7 years 8 months younger. They also get on fairly well. He doesn't see them often, but that's mainly because he's not a particularly social person, nothing to do with not liking each other.

I think it just really depends on personality.

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 08/04/2018 22:40

2 year gap with my DSis (she’s younger), we didn’t get on as children, ignored each other as teenagers and finally now are friends as adults, though I wouldn’t say we are very close. She’s lovely, we are just very different in what we wanted from life.

Original poster
DrWhy · 08/04/2018 22:44

So it sounds like it could go either way, I need to hope and pray that I get one similar enough to DS that they get along but not so similar that they end up being rivals in everything...! Confused

OP posts:
roboticmom · 08/04/2018 22:46

My two are 2 and a half years apart and they are great together. When they fight i get involved and try to find a compromise. I think if I left them to themselves to sort out their squabbles they would drift apart. Their interests are diverging as they are getting older but hopefully with a lot of shared good memories they will remain close.

My sister and I are 3 years apart and I have almost no memories of her from our teenage years. We love each other and spend time together but we are very different and probably wouldn’t be friends without that family bond. We are amazing travel partners, so we will always have that!

immortalmarble · 08/04/2018 22:46

Yes, my brother and I do. We do bicker and we did as children but there’s an incredibly strong bond there and my own children have it too.

MidLifeCrisis2017 · 08/04/2018 22:47

DDs are now in their twenties, same age gap as OP's, adore each other and pretty much always have.

PookieDo · 08/04/2018 22:53

I have 4 year gap between my sister and I and we got on until we were both teens. Then a few years of dislike and then once I was 20 or so we have been close friends ever since

My Dc are 2 years apart and also get on well, even as teens

I have always made a big show of respecting your sibling and would rather frustrations were taken out on me than one another

overduemamma · 08/04/2018 22:54

Me and my siblings got on as kids, we just don't now 😂

HamishsMomma · 08/04/2018 22:55

Have 3 older brothers 2yrs, 4yrs and 6 yrs older than me - used to fight as kids particularly with eldest but very close to youngest one - they all got on - we are all very close even though don't live near other. So far all mine get on too - obvious squabbles but all play really well together despite age ranges. However my niece and nephew (DH sisters' children) 2.5 yrs apart and seem to loath each other!

YoucancallmeVal · 08/04/2018 22:58

22 months between me and brother. Got on well when tiny, hated each other from 7/8 on. Still don't get on in our 40s.

underneaththeash · 08/04/2018 22:58

I get on well with my brothers. My 3 children get on well pretty much of the time as well.

I only know 2 people who don't speak to a sibling (and one of them is a little difficult so I'm not that surprised.)

underneaththeash · 08/04/2018 22:59

Oh and there's a 3 yr gap between me and my first brother and then a two year gap. My children ha e a 2 year and then a 2.9 yr gap.

boymum9 · 08/04/2018 23:02

My older sister (18 months) is one of my closest friends although we don't live close, we were very close as children, not so much as teenagers (probably normal, I was a nightmare!) but are very close now! Also have a younger sister (by 4 years) not so close to either of us although I get on well with her. My older sister doesn't have never has from the moment she arrived pretty much!

My husband has a sister 2.5 years younger and they're very close, always have been (I'm also probably closer to her than my siblings too)
I think it can sometimes just be luck of the draw of whether their personalities will clash or not!

Giraffe31 · 08/04/2018 23:02

Theres a 3 yesr gap between me and my sister and we're each other's best friends. We had our spats growing up but we wouldn't hear a word said against each other by someone else.

IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 08/04/2018 23:03

I have 5 kids - the age gaps between them are 3 years 9 months, 3 years 4 months, 2 years 9 months and 3 years 5 months.

The middle two - girl and boy, the pair closest together in age - are the ones that have fought the most - even in early adulthood.

However now they are all older, my youngest is 16, the oldest is married to his middle sister's best friend and all three girls will be bridesmaids at young son's wedding this summer.

They actually choose to spend time together and go out of their way to be together - they are planning a big holiday next year to which my husband and I are invited "if you can make it". The focus is the kids and spouses - husband and I are almost an afterthought. And I couldn't be happier.

There have been many times when I have been reduced to tears by their squabbling and sniping at each other. It sounds cliched but when the chips are down they are there for each other in a heartbeat. All of them came home to see their baby sister for her 16th birthday and all of them have a part to play in the wedding in the summer.

They have actually grown into adults that rather like each other.

corythatwas · 08/04/2018 23:06

Yes, got on well. Still do. 5 1/2 yr gap between me and my older brother, 18 months between me and younger brother, 3 yr gap between me and youngest brother.

My nephews and nieces also seem to get on very well with each other, and so do dd and ds, though they don't actually have much in common.