If your kids are fussy - just say!

[GoldenWonderwall]

Grrrr. I can’t be the only person that has asked visitors what their kids eat, to be met with an airy ‘Oh, they eat anything!’ and then it turns out said children only eat one brand of fish finger or just cheese on toast, but hold the cheese.

My dc are fussy so I’ll tell you they’ll eat fish fingers, pizza and nuggets before we come so you don’t spend loads of time and money on food they won’t eat and get really pissed off with us. You might judge me with my fussy kids who won’t eat a coq au vin, but we all know that is infinitely preferable and much more fun than watching the giant paddy and incessant whining brought on by the inclusion of a single slice of lettuce on a ham sandwich.

So say! Say your dc are fussy buggers before you come and we can all be happy

Or just teach your children not to be fussy i.stead of thinking it's something to boast about

Or just teach your children not to be fussy i.stead of thinking it's something to boast about

Who was boasting?

How do you teach a child not to be fussy?

YES as a fellow fussy mama I agree with you!

Whatshallidonowpeople, not only is it often not as simple as all that, the OP is talking trying to make things easier for hosts rather than turning all social visits into a painful battleground at the expense of someone's hospitality.

Yes OP I agree. My DD, sadly, is quite fussy though improving. I would absolutely forewarn hosts. It would be shameful to let them waste time energy and food making something that I know in advance she won't eat (ie most things).

@Whatshallidonowpeople tell us this secret information you have to just “teach children not be be fussy”.

I don’t think the OP is boasting or that it’s that easy. I was a fussy child, made to eat everything on my plate whether I liked it or not. It was deeply unpleasant. I am now a really fussy adult so it didn’t really help in the long term. I tell people what my DD likes to eat when asked.

Dobby well....I've taught mine this simple rule. They may not always like what is served at other people's houses, but it's rude to complain.

My DD's friend is HORRENDOUS for this.

I made her a cheese toastie which she said "Isn't like the toasties at home..." in a whining voice...and everything she's offered she rudely says "Ew no I don't like those!" instead of a simple "No thank you"

Yes yes yes totally agree. One friend does this so much - oh they’ll eat what they’re given! A) no they won’t and it’s a complete waste; b) I’m happy to make them something they like and cast absolutely no judgement, my kids are pretty fussy, please just say, I want them to be happy!
Also when friends pile up their tiny kids’ plates saying what good eaters they are and they have 2 mouthfuls. What are you trying to prove?!

Yes how do you teach your children not to be fussy! I've been so embarrassed when my two refused home made pizza after SIL had spent ages cooking. It was because she'd put onion on it.

I think some parents might be a bit embarssed and not want to sound demanding? But I agree honesty it’s the best policy!

I think whenyour kids really do have food issues and you're tuned into it and have looonnng gone past the stage where you are mortified or embarassed about it and ditched all the "friends" who give you grief about it - then it is easy to forget the parents who are still pretending or not facing up to the issue.
Be kind. For the kids' sake.

My DD is under the hospital for sensory issues which has led to major food issues. She's not just fussy but a full blown nightmare when it comes to food. If a playdate is going to involve food then I either take something I know she'll eat when we go out or we meet friends somewhere that sells something she will eat. No boasting, I hate that she's like this for her sake as much as mine, but why make an issue out of it by not being honest?

Onion!

One of dd's friends turned down a small chocolate and a sweet at which point I decided she was a lost cause I agree, just say what they like, no-one is going to be disappointed they can't serve their fanciest dish to an 8yo after school!

My kids aren't fussy.

But when I told SIL that she complained they were because they wouldn't eat smoked mackerel and curly kale.

My dd2 is the worst eater

I try to make a positive spin on it and say ‘oh just make her toast and she is happy’ (but for fuck sake don’t let it go too brown’..

Dd2 will only eat white/beige things...

Fine if you want to 'teach your children not to be fussy' at home, but why inflict that pain on someone who is hosting you?

I’m a fussy child, now a less fussy but still not great adult. Anything goes for guests in my house. If they want cereal for dinner and soup for breakfast they can have it. I want guests to leave full and happy.

I think I have been guilty of this in the past. I genuinely forget how fussy my dc are as I tend to adapt things for them without thinking about it. So in my head they eat most things but in reality they will eat most things so long as it is prepared in a specific way which if often quite different to how other people would serve it. Now I tend to ask what people are thinking of cooking for them, seems to work ok.

see one of my children is inconsistently fussy so I tell people to simply cater as if they didn't exist then its not embarrassing if they don't eat the special meal cooked just for them.

They are more fussy about textures, shapes, things touching, and they finds new places and groups of people overwhelming.

Oh that’s reminded me of when ds’s toast had to be a kind of warm bread. Bless him he eats a lot more now (13!)

Why is it always the first person to respond who says something horrible? Is it because they have nothing better to do?

Someone else’s dinner table is not the place to be trying to expand the palates of fussy kids. Whiny, upset, hungry kids make terrible guests. If no ones asked then all you can do is your best, but if the host asks - tell them! Ime fussy kids tend to eat very low maintenance beige freezer food anyway so the level of effort in catering to them is minimal.