If your kids are fussy - just say!

[GoldenWonderwall]

Grrrr. I can’t be the only person that has asked visitors what their kids eat, to be met with an airy ‘Oh, they eat anything!’ and then it turns out said children only eat one brand of fish finger or just cheese on toast, but hold the cheese.

My dc are fussy so I’ll tell you they’ll eat fish fingers, pizza and nuggets before we come so you don’t spend loads of time and money on food they won’t eat and get really pissed off with us. You might judge me with my fussy kids who won’t eat a coq au vin, but we all know that is infinitely preferable and much more fun than watching the giant paddy and incessant whining brought on by the inclusion of a single slice of lettuce on a ham sandwich.

So say! Say your dc are fussy buggers before you come and we can all be happy

I was going to say the same as @greensnail. You adapt for your kids without thinking about it, so to me, mine eat a wide range of good food. I forget when put on the spot that they don’t eat some quite common things like sweet corn.

I love it when someone says, do they eat x? It makes life so much easier!

Yes the freezer food is recognisable and safe- no nasty surprises.

If you haven’t got anything nice to say to someone, then at least be amusingly cutting second posters

I think some parents might be a bit embarssed and not want to sound demanding?

I think maybe I have been guilty of this, possibly as the result of reading too many AIBUs like, AIBU to not pander to fussiness of visiting child on playdate....etc etc

Sadly the only freezer food my fusspot eats is fish fingers and skinny chips. No sausages, nuggets, pizza, thick chips. Sigh.

I would tell you they're fussy quite happily but then they'll make a liar out of me by eating literally anything. I've lost count of the number of times i've collected one of them to be told they cleared their plates of curry, gyoza, coq au vin insert any food they resolutely won't eat at home and whisperingly been told that they've confided to their host that 'mum only makes really boring meals' to add insult to injury.

Shame they can't be amusing. Wish I knew how to prevent fussy eating. Agree with OP. We also check with adults as loads of people are food intolerant, veggie etc.

I think it’s important to have something up your sleeve to say to hosts though. I might say I’m making pasta (fine!) but I might use fusilli (err) and I might use spinach (argh) or mushroom (eek) in the sauce and it’s a lot more effort for me to explain what I’m making in detail than it is for the parent to say the kids reliably eat fish fingers or cheese pizza (even if they eat other stuff as well).

I just don't invite anyone over :D haha.

It’s demanding to tell someone what your dc will eat if they’ve not asked, but if they have asked what they’d like then it’s infuriating to say they’ll eat anything when you know they won’t.

I’m quite happy if they’re contrary and eat a previously vomitus foodstuff when out and about - much better than the retching over a piece of carrot which can sometimes ensue!

I fully understand what your saying, I have always told people that we're visiting that my DS doesn't eat salad, most veg and hardly likes bread. Yes he can be classed as fussy but I'd rather tell someone then turn up and make a situation awkward

I've found that many parents who say their kids will eat anything haven't quite realised how many adjustments they make

my kids aren't fussy, they'll eat anything I give them (as long as what I give them doesn't have visible onion, mushroom, courgette or peppers)

But when I told SIL that she complained they were because they wouldn't eat smoked mackerel and curly kale.

Oh yes!! FiL STILL - 14+ years on - makes accusatory / not-funny-teasing comments about DS being SUCH a fussy eater because, aged about 3, he didn't eat a supper of smoked haddock poached in milk served with green beans.

Meanwhile he praises DNephew to the skies for 'being SO unfussy', while said DNephew announces loudly every time that he eats here that he doesn't eat OUR peas because he 'only eats petit pois'

I agree. Mine are, for the most part, unfussy but I do have 2 that don't like mash. As sausage & mash is a fairly common 'friend for dinner' meal in our area I always let the host know in advance. The upside is the both like boiled potatoes so it's fairly easy to accomodate. I'd also much rather know what a child (or adult for that matter) doesn't like as I want them to enjoy their time visiting us.

YANBU, DS is really fussy, any invite involving feeding him when he was younger was met with 'that sounds lovely but I warn you he is a fussy git' He's still fussy at 13 but arranges his own social life these days so if he doesn't think to warn his host he can go without, no one ever starved from not liking one meal. DD eats literally everything other than mushrooms if she knows they are there so that is what I tell anyone feeding her.

@Whatshallidonowpeople please share your wisdom. How do you teach a child not to be fussy?

I would say my youngest isn't fussy, because to me, in comparison to her siblings who eat next to nothing, i don't think she is. but my 'not fussy' might not be yours. there are things she won't eat. plenty of them. I tend to ask 'will child eat x meal' and then we all know where we stand. even then sometimes it backfires. my curry was deemed 'gross' by a friends child, becayse it didn't taste like hers.

Tbh, now ds just has a packed lunch/tea when we go to someone's house, it is easier for everyone!

I think there's pressure to say that your dc eat anything, in that you feel they should like olives, fish, spinach, strong cheeses etc, etc. But lots of dc, like mine, don't like strongly flavoured or spiced foods, and have a fairly small range of foods they do like.

I always say now if asked, and volunteer it if I think I should. A couple of times my dc have come back from friend's houses having been told they must eat their meals. These were the type of meals lots of adults would find hard going. I'm not embarrassed that my dc don't like mussels, or turnips, hot curries, or mexican food, for example. Who said they should?

colditz my eldest is genuinely unfussy. At 8 I've only found 2 things she won't eat. 1 is the exceptionally hot chilli con carne DH makes, we let her have a taste & it was jist too hot even I smother it in sour cream. The other is stir fry, she doesn't like the texture. She's adventurous with food, will always go for something she hasn't eaten before if we're eating out etc. The other's aren't terrible either but stick to what they know more iyswim.

I've managed to raise 2 distinctly non-fussy eaters aka dustbins.

It's either because I'm really brilliant or dumb luck. I think it's probably the second one tbh.

I used to think it was bad parenting. Dd eats almost anything (except bacon, ham, Chinese sauce or parsnips) quinoa, smoked salmon, sushi, you name it, no problem.

Then I had Ds. I weaned him exactly the same way, presented exactly the same foods etc. He is the child that dis-proves the rule that if they are hungry they will eat. When you have an underweight 4 year old wearing age 18 month clothes you have to adjust your thinking.

I don't like the expression 'fussy eater' tbh. I won't eat food I don't like, am I fussy? (Probably...)
My DD (and my DSD) are both 'particular' eaters.
When visiting, if I'm asked, I'll advise a specific (very simple) meal I know DD will eat, can be made from ingredients most people have and takes little time to and will look and taste exactly the same as made at home. But, if she's going to a party for example, I wouldn't expect any special provision to be made. I will tell people not to put themselves out and not be concerned if she doesn't eat, but I've also asked DD to decline politely if she can't eat what's on offer.

Thing is, I never thought my dc were fussy, as they eat everything I put in front of them (which is very varied and exactly the same as dh eats, and more than I do - I am fussy!). Coq au vin is no problem whatsoever.

But when I took them places where they were served things like beans on toast, fish fingers or chicken nuggets they point blank refused to eat them.

Yeah you've got a point there, colditz & greensnail.

I don't think my kids are fussy at all; they'll eat really hot curries and dhals and heaps of veg but I forget that none of them will eat potatoes unless they're cooked unhealthily.
I simply don't cook them.
They'll force them down out of politeness tho. They know I'd take a dim view of them refusing food if they're a guest.

I've got one ds who will try anything without even asking what it is, and another ds who is fussy beyond belief, they were born less than 12 months apart and I did nothing different during weaning or while they were very little, so I'm confident that the fussy one is just that way and it's not my fault. So I fully admit to anyone who needs to know, yes, he's fussy! He does have some sensory issues though, so sort of gets away with it for this reason alone, I'm not about to force him to eat something that would upset him though!