“Your Face is Red”

[SilverOnToast]

I’ve had rosacea pretty much my whole adult life. Triggers include exercise, hot drinks, alcohol, uv light, changes in temperature, spicy food and public speaking. It’s mainly on my nose and cheeks. I can’t imagine this is going to get much better going into menopause, so I’m just accepting it and moving on.

AIBU for getting a bit annoyed with others commenting about my “red face” at work/school/every social occasion? I usually just say “oh yeah, it’s just my rosacea,” but AIBU to think that etiquette dictates that you don’t need to comment on others appearance?

My dad does this. It really pisses me off. WTF makes him think that him embarrassing me about it is going to make it any better?

I get this a lot!

I normally answer 'yeah, it's this morning's gin'.

Seriously, it's a real pain until I discovered green face powder from Clinique.

That must be really frustrating. I always used to get unhelpful comments on my freckles. I know a nurse that had her roseca improved after seeing a naturopath, maybe that could work for you too xx

Thanks herbal! Yes, I’ve seen a naturopath and my face definitely improved when I stopped eating dairy, sugar and grains for six months so I can get it back under control without meds if I really have to, but it’s balancing that out with my love of cheese!

Basically I don’t even really mind the flushed look, I just don’t want everyone to point it out (yes I know I’m red! The burning in my cheeks is telling me so!)

I have this condition. The gp prescription I had for an antibiotic gel really helped me. She was very understanding when my nose had a bad flare up. Unhelpful ‘drunk again’ comments ( when I haven’t had a drink) don’t.

I respond with "thanks, I was aware" and then continue the conversation. It's so rude to comment so I equal their rudeness now. I've given up being polite about it. I used to explain but that just made me more self-conscious about it.

I hate it being commented on. I blush all down my throat and chest as well and people love to point that out.

I do sometimes wear make up (will check out Clinique powder, thanks!) but I really feel like if I can’t be bothered that day, I don’t need people to point it out. Of course pointing it out means I’m even redder!

New people I can handle somewhat, (though why would you say it to someone you barely know??) but my family should know better!

I don't have rosacea exactly, but am generally quite pink and flush very easily. I HATE it when people comment. I usually reply with a sarcastic "thanks for pointing it out, yes, I do go red easily" and try to make them feel as uncomfortable as I do.

I mean, honestly. I can feel myself getting hot and flushing, why do I need you to tell me?!

I was given a lecture about sunburn by one of the nurses at my GP surgery last year because of my red face! I hadn’t been out in the sun, but I do flush easily due to my eczema and this was a hot, stuffy day where I’d waited a fair while in a claustrophobic waiting room to be seen!

Needless to say, she apologised profusely, opened the window and turned on a fan when she realised!

It’s always been something I’ve had said to me in one way or another, and I generally ignore it now. I’d love to say ‘and your face is stupid’ in response, but I’d be lowering myself to their level.

The old days of 'don't make personal remarks' had a lot going for them in this regard...

It’s incredibky rude to mention another persons appearance. I am amazed people aren’t taught this as children. Totally get you op

Someone commented on my face being 'spotty' once, I said 'yes, I'm allergic to rude people' and he looked suitably embarrassed.

Fellow rosacea sufferer here. I've had a lot of comments about it from 'oh you always had a red face from drinking' from an old university friend to 'wow you're really red' in the gym changing rooms. To both I said 'actually I have a skin condition called rosacea that causes flushing and a red skin. It's not due to alcohol or anything' and they always look suitably ashamed. Hopefully they'll think twice about mentioning it to someone else.

YADNBU I hate this!! I don't have roseacea but I'm a blusher, and get very red in heat/cold. I just stare them out and raise an eyebrow. Be rude right back.

Thanks everyone! Glad to know it’s not just me. Looks like I need to up my comebacks and hard stares instead of feeling like I want the ground to swallow me up!

I blush VERY easily and it used to become a million times worse when someone mentioned it. Hate it but can't stop it.

There is a special bench in hell for people who like to point out someone else going red/blushing.

YANBU.
I go red very easily and I'll never forget being told in front of a room full of people that I had a face "like a smacked arse".
Yeah right, that really helped.

OP - thank you for this thread because I have never heard of this condition before but I now realize it's what I'm experiencing occasionally. It's just started happening in the last 2 years and I thought it was food allergies that had appeared after a stomach op. I get red streaks down my neck and the top of my chest too. Thankfully they usually go away within an hour max. I will see my GP soon.

As regards rude people, I recommend developing your Death Stare, which should have an overtone of "I WILL kill you and eat your liver" for maximum effect.

I have rosacea on my nose and I love it most when people liken me to Rudolph

that's so inappropriate of people to comment on such a personal feature.. how dare they..

I too suffer but only in the last year or so and it's mild.. but visible.... it may get worse.. who knows.. but for the moment.. I use a very gentle BB cream.. a very a small amount and it gives a gentle balance to my skin tone... without covering it in product... works great for me right now

I have rosacea too and a couple of children have asked why my face is like that but the only adult to have done so is my dear Grandmother who once greated me across a crowded room, having not seen me for months, with "What's that on your face? Is it the same thing your father has?"

Literally didnt even say hello, just went straight for that comment. Thanks Granny.

The ladies in our family are all blushed. I used to get comments when i was younger and hated it. Now I don't care. My friend wondered recently why she looked so pale without makeup and yet I looked fine. See the blushed look does have its advantages.

How I'd love to respond to those sort of comments thus:

Them: Your face is a bit patchy isn't it (that's my current skin problem that I can't seem to sort out)

Me: I know. You're quite ugly, aren't you.