I feel the patio calling...

[GoodyGoodyGumdrops]

And dh may find himself under it if he keeps calling Amsterdam 'hamster-jam'.

(Minor irritations that Get. On. Your. Tits!)

And I thought this was going to be a garden makeover thread

Just how big is this patio
might have a few contenders
mostly dishwasher related crimes

I'll give you an alibi if you need one

Hamster Jam is the pay-off line from a joke back in the 70s.

Every time my phone goes off my DH thinks he should say......you've got a big bum.

Is there room for someone who thinks they are good at accents ...

Mine thought it would be funny to bring me a cup of tea in bed at 9am, and while I popped to the loo he whipped all the bedding off to put in the wash 🤨... I swear he’s the reincarnation of my bloody mother.

I must add this was to be my only lie in of the sodding week 😡

Mine runs a full dishwasher without a tab to "rinse" the dishes. Why why WHY?!

@AverageSnowflake - I can help you dig the hole.

My DH used to rise the dishes under a hot running tap, using up all the hot water. He has improved since the dishwasher arrived. It was a marriage saver.
This was 20years ago, even thinking back to this makes my blood boil!

I have two patios... and a conservatory... Just saying... YANBU

Looks like we're going to need them, PostcodeJack!

OH loves to change the names of things slightly..the microwave is a MICK- RO. Drives me potty

Mine just breathing lately is enough to make me start digging.

I need a new patio, can you all come round and dig up the existing one for me?

The kitchen worktop/ table filling up with stuff that could as easily have been put straight in the bin or recycling.

My fiancé has been obsessively and repeatedly singing songs about how wonderful Mo Salah is for WEEKS. It is doing my head in.

I have an annoying dh but no patio.

Discarded clothes always left on the floor!
Never, ever closing cupboards which he has just removed something from!!

Yeah my husband does this hilarious thing where he pretends he hasn’t listened or watched when I’ve told him something or point something out. So next time we go past/talk about said thing he says “well you could have told me about xyz!”. Apparently this is absolutely hysterical eyeroll

This is a great thread! Just the thing to cheer up a grey Sunday morning. (And my cat may be visiting your patio very soon if he doesn't shut up with the bloody howling about being fed his seventh breakfast of the morning.)

Have you got enough space for anyone (anyone) who tells me again how 'hilarious' Jim Davidson is?

My fiancé has been obsessively and repeatedly singing songs about how wonderful Mo Salah is for WEEKS. It is doing my head in.

@DeputyBrennan he's not worth wasting a good patio on, LTB

Me: As you’re in the kitchen can you put the kettle on?

DH: It won’t suit me.

Every. Single. Time.

I too feel the patio calling.

Where were you all last night? DH thought a re enactment of kids mini disco songs via Spotify was an acceptable way to spend a Saturday evening.