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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Me selfish???

83 replies

Rustyhinge · 07/04/2018 22:27

I have a holiday home which is half mine and half my brothers.
We made a policy that we would not rent it out as no possibility of caretakers and also we have it just as we like it and want to keep it that way.
A couple of days ago I got a text from a friend to ask if friends of theirs could use our house for some time this summer.
This is a longstanding friendship and I am indebted to her in ways which I cannot specify here.
She is also friendly with my brother btw
I just feel so put on the spot, I don’t want to fall out with her but I really don’t want random strangers staying in our house plus we may want to use it ourselves over the summer
Question is should I make up excuses or risk the friendship and tell the truth that we do not ever want to get into these scena4ios?

OP posts:
SometimesMaybe · 07/04/2018 22:28

“Sorry would like to help but we will both be using the home a lot this summer. Hope your friend can sort something out”. Don’t get into details, just be clear and to the point.

Giraffey1 · 07/04/2018 22:30

Why can’t you just say sorry, no, you don’t rent it out to anyone else. If they are proper friends they’ll just say, oh, ok, hope you didn’t mind me asking.

I’m surprised tho, as if they’re close friends, they’ll know about the property and would also know you don’t let it out?

sunshine99789 · 07/04/2018 22:30

If it was for your friends use I would say YABU, but as they are friends of friends I agree with what Sometimes has said

Teacuphiccup · 07/04/2018 22:30

Say ‘I share it with my brother and because we don’t rent it out we don’t have systems in place for this such as caretakers and insurance etc’

limon · 07/04/2018 22:30

Wow. Your friends are pretty cheeky!

I agree woth sometimes suggestion.

Easyonthetonic · 07/04/2018 22:31

Not even asking for herself but a friend. I assume you don’t know these people.

As above, sorry not possible.

SchoolMoney · 07/04/2018 22:31

Just say it's not available. Tell her Air BnB is great for finding non hotel places! not freeloading off people you don't even know

maras2 · 07/04/2018 22:32

Just say no.
Your friend has no business telling someone that you don't know about your holiday home.

SchoolMoney · 07/04/2018 22:32

If you even think you might cave read Mexican house thief thread here first!

madeyemoodysmum · 07/04/2018 22:33

Tell her it's not insured for guests also your brother and you will be using it anyway.

Archduke · 07/04/2018 22:34

YANBU - "I'm afraid we don't rent it out".

The End.

Ohyesiam · 07/04/2018 22:34

Say that as you only have a share on the ownership and the agreement is to not let it, it’s not possible. And that it’s not going to be empty over the summer anyway.

It’s not like you are being mean, you have an agreement not to do this.

KarmaStar · 07/04/2018 22:35

Say no OP and don't feel guilty,to ask for friends of theirs is a bit cheeky.

Caulk · 07/04/2018 22:38

“Thanks for asking. Sorry not to be able to help, brother and I are using it over the summer. We tend to not let it due to there not being a caretaker or appropriate insurance.”

Qwertyuiopy · 07/04/2018 22:40

Blame your brother! Just say he says no and it’s half his!

Chickychoccyegg · 07/04/2018 22:40

Just tell her that you and your brother have an agreement not to rent it out, and you'll both be using it over the summer!
She was cheeky to ask (presuming she knows of this agreement?)

QuiteLikely5 · 07/04/2018 22:42

Be honest.

‘Would love to but as it is joint owned by brother and I we agreed a long time ago that we wouldn’t rent or let anyone use it. Apologies but I don’t want to start changing this agreement now in case it causes hassle in the future’

Returnofthesmileybar · 07/04/2018 22:42

It's a friend of friend, just say no and don't think twice about it

"We don't let it out at all, it's a second family home"

They were really cheeky to even ask

Dozer · 07/04/2018 22:42

No dilemma here, just say no.

Would be one thing - fairly cheeky - for your friends to ask to use the property, but to ask for their friends - cheeky fuckery!

strayducks18 · 07/04/2018 22:45

Just say "sorry between me and my brother it will be in use, plus we don't actually let it out as a rental"

You might be indebted to your friend but not her friends!

Idontdowindows · 07/04/2018 22:53

"It's joint owned with my brother and we have an agreement that no one else uses it."

It's the truth. If the truth offends your friend, that's tough shit.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 07/04/2018 22:53

Doesn't she know you don't rent it out? Really presumptuous of her tbh.

Papergirl1968 · 07/04/2018 22:54

If it’s a static caravan just say the site owners don’t allow you to sub let.
If it’s a flat, cottage or whatever, say it’s not insured for holiday let.

feska5 · 07/04/2018 22:55

Excactly what idontdowindows said is perfect

Aquamarine1029 · 07/04/2018 22:58

I would tell her the truth. You have an agreement with your brother, who co-owns the property, that you will not rent it out to anyone, period. An excellent decision, if you ask me. You aren't responsible for her putting her foot in her mouth.