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Original poster

Washing up while babysitting - WWYD?

75 replies

Malenkaya · 07/04/2018 20:32

I'm babysitting for friends tonight. They have two DC, DS5 and DS3. My friend has gone out straight from work at 6 tonight and her DH left when I arrived here at 6ish.

For context both friends work full time, but friend's DH was off today so in sole charge of kids. I've put the kids to bed and come down and realised there's loads of washing up to do. Clearly none has been done all day.

Usually when I babysit I don't mind having a tidy (and my friend is absolutely ok with this, no boundaries being overstepped etc!) so my friend comes home to a nice house. BUT if I do it then she might think her DP has done it. The truth is her DP is a bit of a man child when it comes to pulling g his weight in the house. Friend shoulders all the emotional labour and wife work and her DP has to be micromanaged to tidy after himself and the kids. Friend I'd frequently pissed off about this.

So: shall I wash up and hide the evidence? Shall I wash up but tell her he left the kitchen in a state? Or shall I leave the lot so she can see what he hasn't done today?

OP posts:
Xmasbaby11 · 07/04/2018 20:33

I'd never do someone's washing up in that situation. That's not part of the deal at all. They would be so embarrassed!

zeebeedee · 07/04/2018 20:34

I'd do it, if you don't she will probably have to.

I'd tell her I did it too, preferably in front of him.

DumbledorePlum · 07/04/2018 20:34

Leave it for sure

Crispbutty · 07/04/2018 20:34

If you don’t mind doing it, do it, but make a light point of saying it’s you that did it. In fairness he’s had two small children to run around after all day.

wineandcheeseplease · 07/04/2018 20:34

No way would I do it, you're there to babysit not be a cleaner.

Cleanermaidcook · 07/04/2018 20:35

I'd be embarrassed if you did that to me.

Utrecht · 07/04/2018 20:35

Don't wash up.

Stompythedinosaur · 07/04/2018 20:35

I wouldn't do it personally.

1busybee · 07/04/2018 20:35

I’d do it but say something like “ hope you don’t mind but I wanted something to do so tidied the kitchen hope you don’t mind” to her when she got back!

windchimesabotage · 07/04/2018 20:36

Id wash up then tell her... but maybe worded better than 'he left it in a state' like maybe 'I didnt really feel it would be up to your standards so I just gave it a go over for you'

I mean dont feel under any obligation to because I doubt anyone would expect you to... but if you want to do it it might be nice for her seeing as you know she has a lot to deal with regarding her DPs lack of help

frasier · 07/04/2018 20:36

No, don’t do it! You’re there to mind a child, not clean.

jollyjester · 07/04/2018 20:36

I would stack it neatly but not do it and just wash up whatever you use.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 07/04/2018 20:36

I would wash up (so your friend doesn't have to do it) but pointedly not put anything away. In fact I would not leave it on draining board, but dry it and leave it stacked near the relevant cupboards.
This should make it clear that her DH didn't do it.

Dozer · 07/04/2018 20:37

When I was a paid sitter I often washed up, when DC were asleep, but wouldn’t do it for friends in the circumstances you describe.

Foodylicious · 07/04/2018 20:37

If you would usually wash up, then wash up.
Don't over involve yourself in their relationship or give it any more thought.

Try not yo think about what influence you might or might not have.
Though I think it would be mean to consider leaving it deliberatley for her to see when they get back from their nice evening out.

Dozer · 07/04/2018 20:37

I wouldn’t want to do it for the sexist manchild.

Ohyesiam · 07/04/2018 20:38

The op has explained that the friend won’t be embarrassed.
Of it were me I’d do the washing up if I was feeling generous, and let her know I’d done it for her.

user1493413286 · 07/04/2018 20:38

I’d leave it; if he’s anything like my DH he’s left it hoping you’ll do it.

firawla · 07/04/2018 20:39

I would do it personally

SweetMoon · 07/04/2018 20:39

I'd wash up but tell her.

northside · 07/04/2018 20:40

If you choose to do it, make a passing comment, like say sorry that you used the last of the washing up liquid and you'll pick some more up. Or... something. She'll know that it was you, but you're not implying that her house was a mess, or anything.

Original poster
Malenkaya · 07/04/2018 20:40

Just to reiterate, she won't mind if I do the washing up, it wouldn't be seen as anything other than a friendly helpful gesture, she's not precious and wouldn't be embarrassed. But I think I will leave it.

My thinking was I'd like to save her from coming in and thinking 'Christ what a tip'

OP posts:
Raaaaaah · 07/04/2018 20:41

I would do it. It will make her day as if he is as much of a man child as you suspect she will be anticipating coming home to a bomb site and she will be delighted to come home to one less thing to do. I was a babysitter for many years. I only sat for families I really loved and who appreciated me and consequently I always liked to make their lives that bit easier. One of our babysitters folded all my washing from the tumble dryer last time she looked after our kid and I was so grateful.

Petalflowers · 07/04/2018 20:45

I would wash up what I used.

bluelampshades · 07/04/2018 20:46

i wouldn't do it. He should have done it, and he can do it when he gets in.

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