Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Washing up while babysitting - WWYD?

75 replies

Malenkaya · 07/04/2018 20:32

I'm babysitting for friends tonight. They have two DC, DS5 and DS3. My friend has gone out straight from work at 6 tonight and her DH left when I arrived here at 6ish.

For context both friends work full time, but friend's DH was off today so in sole charge of kids. I've put the kids to bed and come down and realised there's loads of washing up to do. Clearly none has been done all day.

Usually when I babysit I don't mind having a tidy (and my friend is absolutely ok with this, no boundaries being overstepped etc!) so my friend comes home to a nice house. BUT if I do it then she might think her DP has done it. The truth is her DP is a bit of a man child when it comes to pulling g his weight in the house. Friend shoulders all the emotional labour and wife work and her DP has to be micromanaged to tidy after himself and the kids. Friend I'd frequently pissed off about this.

So: shall I wash up and hide the evidence? Shall I wash up but tell her he left the kitchen in a state? Or shall I leave the lot so she can see what he hasn't done today?

OP posts:
QuiteLikely5 · 07/04/2018 20:47

It’s like if you do it you want the credit?

If you cared that much you wouldn’t want to cause a row by dropping in conversation that it was you?!

Fgs if you want to do the dishes do them if you don’t then watch tv

bluemoonchances · 07/04/2018 20:47

I would do it personally as wouldn't want her to come home and do it. Just make a joke when she gets in 'tell your DH he owes me a drink for doing the washing up!'

Caulk · 07/04/2018 20:47

Is there a dishwasher? I would load that, but not put it on.

purplecorkheart · 07/04/2018 20:51

When I babysat I used to tidy away kids toys (or wash lego bits etc if grubby). If there were a couples of mugs/glasses I would wash them as I would normally have a mug of coffee so would be washing that. Unless the kids made the mess on my watch it was not my job to clean it up, not to mind anyone elses.

Yarboosucks · 07/04/2018 20:51

I am with bluemoon.

I hate washing up and am really squeamish about other peoples dirty plates (such a princess!) but I would do it…

Her DH would get my best Paddington stare!

AnnieAnoniMouser · 07/04/2018 20:51

I would do it for my friend because presumably it’ll be her that ends up doing it, not him.

Whenever I’ve babysat my friends kids and done stuff like that they’ve always been appreciative, not embarassed, but then I have normal friends and only a few selective MNers who are perfectly normal as well.

But if you don’t want to, then don’t. But make this about what you want and what she will appreciate. He’s an irrelevance.

Plumsofwrath · 07/04/2018 20:52

I’d do it, and when they get back say nothing to my friend but probably say something to the DH like “you’re a better person than me, leaving all that washing up for yourself after a night out! Saved you the trouble, you owe me one!!”.

diddl · 07/04/2018 20:52

" he’s had two small children to run around after all day."

Hmm

Wash up, leave it to dry so she can see how much he left & tell her you did it?

She'll probably guess anyway.

Flymetothemoon18 · 07/04/2018 20:57

Personally I’d do the washing up and just mention when they’re back you thought you’d be helpful so they didn’t have to come home to it. I’d be chuffed if anyone willingly done my washing up for me lol

MammaTJ · 07/04/2018 20:57

Do not support the manchild!!

snewsname · 07/04/2018 20:57

I'd do it but make it obvious it's me.

NoSquirrels · 07/04/2018 20:58

I’d leave it; if he’s anything like my DH he’s left it hoping you’ll do it.

This.

Also, if my DH, who can be similarly inclined, left the house like that for a babysitter, I’d give him a rocket about it and make sure HE did it the next morning, not me. I couldn’t do that if I didn’t see it, though.

expatinscotland · 07/04/2018 20:59

I'd do it for a friend.

StillMe1 · 07/04/2018 21:00

Before and after pics?

Lizzie48 · 07/04/2018 21:01

If it's simply a case of loading the dishwasher, I'd probably do it, I wouldn't switch it on, though, as I wouldn't want to do a search in someone else's kitchen for the dishwasher tablets. If they were clearly visible, I would switch it on.

But I absolutely hate the sight of plates in the sink so I wouldn't be able to just leave it like that.

NapQueen · 07/04/2018 21:02

When I babysat as a youngun (16-24yo) I always did dishes if there was any left as it was just something to do. Or if there were toyboxes in the living room id give them a sort and tidy (game pieces put away, all the barbie stuff in one tub etc) while watching the telly. Just stuff to keep myself entertained and hopefully a help to the parents.

My mum and mil sometimes babysit for us and whilst I dont leave dishes to be done there may sometimes be the odd bit on the drainer or laundry on the line that somehow gets put away or folded because they choose to do it. My mum once cleaned my microwave because in her words "there was nowt on telly". Its always met with profuse thanks.

LittlePaintBox · 07/04/2018 21:10

No, don't do it, let them sort out their housework for themselves! My solution to the 'manchild' problem was to buy a dishwasher as soon as possible. The problem wasn't just washing up not done, but washing up done so sloppily that I felt I needed to rewash things before they could be used - just like a child who thought they were 'helping' might do it, in fact.

turnipfarmers · 07/04/2018 21:11

I'd do it as a favour to a friend but not if I was babysitting for somebody who was an acquaintance.

Mookatron · 07/04/2018 21:14

I would not do it as I'd assume the man of the house left it knowing I was coming round! No way! Also I hate washing up.

hdh747 · 07/04/2018 21:16

I've often done friends' washing up while babysitting, and left it neatly stacked on the side when finished as I wouldn't want to root through their cupboards or put it in the wrong place. I certainly wouldn't be offended if someone did it for me. Never occurred to me not to since babysitting is pretty boring anyway.
I'm pretty sure if you left them stacked she'd work out oh didn't do them and if you wanted to be sure you could leave a silly note like, 'hope you had a good night out, love the washing up elves...'

blackheartsgirl · 07/04/2018 21:16

I'd do it but make it clear it was you

Lizzie48 · 07/04/2018 21:19

I'd personally be mortified if a friend had to tidy up after our meal. I've always made sure I tidied up myself before the babysitter's arrived. The idea of someone else tidying up after us isn't something I would ever want to happen.

Dangerousmonkey · 07/04/2018 21:19

Do it. Leave a note saying you hope it's ok you washed up the (whatever meal) and hope it's all in the right place, sorry if stuff has moved!

Urubu · 07/04/2018 21:20

I wouldn't do it.

Mrsmadevans · 07/04/2018 21:21

Do it for her OP it is kind of you . When she comes in say 'l hope you don't mind me doing the dishes for you ' . Poor friend.