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AIBU?

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To think that social services wouldn't give a shit about this

263 replies

NameChangeThread · 07/04/2018 15:39

DS has napped in the pram outside since birth. Always wrapped up and dressed appropriately and either a rain cover or net over the pram depending on weather. Garden has 6ft fences and a bolted gate. Window is always cracked open so I can hear him cry, in summer the back door is wide open and I'm sat out with him anyway. I check on him regularly. And I am fully aware that this is a very 'old fashioned' thing to do, however I like DC to get plenty of fresh air and sunlight, and he naps a lot better outside.

A neighbour from the next street (her back garden is opposite to mine) has just come and knocked on my door and said how dangerous it is to leave a baby outside by themselves. I said I am completely okay with leaving him outside to nap and I have no worries that he could be hurt in any way so she doesn't need to worry. She told me I 'had to do something about it' or she would 'report me'. I told her that I doubted SS would be bothered about this, and she said they definitely would as it is child neglect and abuse?

I honestly cannot think of any rational (or likely) situation which could happen that would cause him any harm by doing this. If anything it is beneficial to him (and me). Because he gets a decent nap, sunlight and plenty of fresh air and I get a bit of peace and quite, and just enough time to regain my sanity!! I cannot be the only person who still does this surely? I know it happens a lot in other countries but it can't have just stopped happening in the UK?

OP posts:
yikesanotherbooboo · 07/04/2018 23:11

For generations mothers have done this., no one sensible would think it was unsafe. For those saying watch out for foxes , how many babies have been attcked by foxes? Genuine question.

tiggersneverdie · 07/04/2018 23:19

NameChange foxes do not usually come out during the day, so that would not be a huge issue.

MollyDaydream · 07/04/2018 23:48

I have never heard of a baby or toddler being injured by a cat getting in with them.
My dc are much more at risk from cats inside the house than outside anyway.

CheeseyToast · 08/04/2018 00:24

Mothertothelord yes it's excellent for neuro development, enhances eye tracking skills. Gentle movement like leaves in the breeze are perfect

justausernamex · 08/04/2018 01:01

Babies sleeping outside is the norm in Denmark. It makes them sleep better and helps develop the immune system. You would get a Hmm if your baby slept inside, unless it is -10 C or something, it happens in every daycare aswell.

PennyPIckle · 08/04/2018 01:42

Your baby sleeps outside in a prom. SS won’t be interested unless he is at risk - which he onviously isn’t as you are keeping a close eye on him.

Babies have slept outside in their plans for as long as I can remember. You’re neighbour is a complete twat! Just ignore....

PennyPIckle · 08/04/2018 01:43

Sorry for typos - new phone! You get the gist....

ethelfleda · 08/04/2018 01:54

The mental load associated with caring for a baby can be really tiring

Yep. Hence me being wide a fucking wake at this time of night while 5mo DS is fast asleep for once Angry

Snorey do I remember you on another thread saying that you wouldn't drive whilst pregnant unless absolutely necessary because of the minute risk of an accident?

corythatwas · 08/04/2018 02:22

"Do you believe then that the risk of a child sleeping alone outside is no higher than a child sleeping inside?"

I'd say the risk to a baby who is adequately clothed and protected by an insect net during the warm season is at about the same level of risk (though safer in the case of house fire, of course).

And that will be a far lower risk than being taken for a walk along the road, perhaps even crossing the road, in the company of its mother.

Which again is very low compared to the far higher risk of being driven in a car by its mother.

The OP said she checks on the child regularly. How is that more neglectful than going to sleep the whole night without watching the child? Given the child's age, it may well even sleep in its own room: surely that is a LOT less supervision than having a wide awake parent who pops out to check on you every now and then?

1forAll74 · 08/04/2018 02:25

Keep up the good outdoor life for your child OP. Good to hear you do as such with your offspring.. take no notice of an idiot neighbour, Its just brought back memories for me, as used to do exactly the same with my two children when they were youngies.

SabineUndine · 08/04/2018 04:01

Foxes in the UK are mainly nocturnal anyway!

CatchIt · 08/04/2018 08:14

I did this with both my children when they were babies, whilst I'm part Swedish, I never lived there as a child. I did naturally as they both slept so well I attribute their good night time sleeping to it (though I have no basis whatsoever for that!)

Your NN is bonkers, let her call SS, she'll feel like an idiot hopefully! 🙄😂

Natsku · 08/04/2018 08:30

(too cold for you but not your child?)

Well I'm sure if the OP was tucked up nice and warm in a pram it wouldn't be too cold for her but alas they don't have prams for adults so it is going to be colder for her than her baby. My baby naps outside as long as it's not colder than -15, that's too cold for me to stand around next to the pram watching him for three hours but not too cold for him to be snug and warm in the pram (if anything, he gets too warm!)

Natsku · 08/04/2018 08:33

Is this something that you do in all weather's? Or not if it is raining/Really cold ECT..? Mine have been awful sleepers so useful knowledge for any future babies!

I do it in most weathers, not colder than -15 (for a little baby, for a toddler I'd let them sleep in colder) but not when it's very damp like fog, or if the wind is really strong (in case the pram gets blown over!) - this is all what's recommended by the health authorities in Finland. Also not doing it at the moment because of the slush so I'm a bit worried about the slush melting more on one side and the pram tipping over (well I'm not so worried about it as it seems pretty unlikely but my OH is worried) but he sleeps almost as well in the porch so he's there instead.

UnicornRainbowColours · 08/04/2018 08:37

I nannied for a Danish Family and we put the baby to sleep outside in a pram. She slept in all weather was amazing.

Barbie222 · 08/04/2018 08:52

Not rtft but I see your lo is over 1. I let my first child sleep outside a lot but we have since moved into an area with many red kites and I didn't put my younger ones out until they were about this age. I think a net wouldn't be any good against them, I've seen how they are with ordinary rubbish.

moita · 08/04/2018 08:54

Astonished by your neighbour. I didn't do this when DS was small as it would have meant dragging the pram through the house (and no doubt waking him up). But we recently moved and it's great walking him around to the garden and leaving him to nap in his pram. Means I get time to prepare lunch/do washing up/hang laundry in peace. Or just sit next to him and breath. Our kitchen door leads onto the garden so only takes a few seconds for me to get to him when he wakes up. Or if I saw a cat/fox/group of bees looking interested.

My poor FIL used to get wheeled to the bottom of the garden and left to cry Sad now that's SS worthy. His mum had PND back in the days when there wasn't a name for it. Completely different situation.

Snoreyhell · 08/04/2018 09:21

Natsku have you ever sat in a car in winter without the heating on? Probably warmer than a pram given that it's got a roof but bloody cold, even with blankets.

Snoreyhell · 08/04/2018 09:25

Snorey do I remember you on another thread saying that you wouldn't drive whilst pregnant unless absolutely necessary because of the minute risk of an accident?

Er no, I said I drove to work every day during both pregnancies as these were necessary journeys. I did say that I didn't drink alcohol or smoke during pregnancy though which you and others thought ridiculous (in fact, some suggested my health would be affected by not doing!)

ethelfleda · 08/04/2018 09:46

which you and others thought ridiculous (in fact, some suggested my health would be affected by not doing!)

I didn't even comment on that thread Confused

Sleeplikeasloth · 08/04/2018 09:49

She did say that she wouldn't do any unnecessary journeys, and would get her husband to do errands, online shopping rather than drive.

LaurieMarlow · 08/04/2018 10:05

Based on her responses on that thread and this snoreyhell's attitude to risk isn't exactly normal.

My friend's Norwegian and the baby naps outside with temperatures as low as -10. Obviously they are well wrapped up.

They all swear blind by it and I expect baby's exposure to fresh air and natural light are really good for their sleeping. Not sure if it's coincidence or not but her two are brilliant sleepers and always have been.

Snoreyhell · 08/04/2018 10:06

For the record, I didn't need to "get my husband to do errands" given that he is a fully active member of our household. I don't generally give him "errands"- he tends to be capable of thinking "we need xyz, I'll go and buy it".

Snoreyhell · 08/04/2018 10:07

Based on her responses on that thread and this snoreyhell's attitude to risk isn't exactly normal

He he. Only on MN could not drinking during pregnancy and not leaving a baby alone outside so you can watch TV untroubled be considered abnormal.

CheeseyToast · 08/04/2018 10:08

Moita lots of parents leave their babies to cry, it is not at all a cause to contact Social Services. What a peculiar idea.

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