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To think that social services wouldn't give a shit about this

263 replies

NameChangeThread · 07/04/2018 15:39

DS has napped in the pram outside since birth. Always wrapped up and dressed appropriately and either a rain cover or net over the pram depending on weather. Garden has 6ft fences and a bolted gate. Window is always cracked open so I can hear him cry, in summer the back door is wide open and I'm sat out with him anyway. I check on him regularly. And I am fully aware that this is a very 'old fashioned' thing to do, however I like DC to get plenty of fresh air and sunlight, and he naps a lot better outside.

A neighbour from the next street (her back garden is opposite to mine) has just come and knocked on my door and said how dangerous it is to leave a baby outside by themselves. I said I am completely okay with leaving him outside to nap and I have no worries that he could be hurt in any way so she doesn't need to worry. She told me I 'had to do something about it' or she would 'report me'. I told her that I doubted SS would be bothered about this, and she said they definitely would as it is child neglect and abuse?

I honestly cannot think of any rational (or likely) situation which could happen that would cause him any harm by doing this. If anything it is beneficial to him (and me). Because he gets a decent nap, sunlight and plenty of fresh air and I get a bit of peace and quite, and just enough time to regain my sanity!! I cannot be the only person who still does this surely? I know it happens a lot in other countries but it can't have just stopped happening in the UK?

OP posts:
LaurieMarlow · 08/04/2018 10:12

Oh you forgot ...

(Apparently) not getting into a car for duration of pregnancy.
Getting DP to do all good shopping for duration of pregnancy.
Not drinking a drop of alcohol while breastfeeding for 6 months.
Not ingesting a single queried food item while pregnant.

And there was probably more. Knock yourself out in terms of your own behaviour, do what you want, no skin off my nose. It's the sanctimonious attitude towards those who don't comply with 'your way' that gets tedious.

Nanny0gg · 08/04/2018 10:12

Snoreyhell

How do you think all those babies up until probably the 80s, survived being left asleep outside every day?

With no baby monitors either

LaurieMarlow · 08/04/2018 10:13

Or indeed all Scandinavian babies?

PickledLilly · 08/04/2018 10:16

Social services have got other things to worry about, they’re rather busy dealing with people who actually abuse and neglect their children.

SusanneLinder · 08/04/2018 10:41

Of course you are neglecting your child OP. They should be swaddled and slung until age 18, and certainly never left alone ever. Never get them babysat and you should never ever have a night out and leave them with trusted babysitters.Grin

What age is the neighbour? Did she not leave her baby outside to sleep, and if not, bet her mum did.

Used to leave mine to do this, and I know my mum did, and we had 2 German Shepherds on guard at the pram..😋

Anatidae · 08/04/2018 10:42

Natsku have you ever sat in a car in winter without the heating on? Probably warmer than a pram given that it's got a roof but bloody cold, even with blankets.

I know it sounds really really weird. I am a Brit now living in Sweden and I was pretty sceptical. But.. it does work. And it’s not like a car really. You don’t use the sort of pushchair set up you have in the uk. Ours is a massive coach built job that’s insulated in and of itself. You then put a sheepskin or fur as a liner, then a sheepskin/wool/down filled åkpåse (pram sleeping bag) in. Then the baby is wrapped in layers - usually merino next to the skin but several layers anyway. Hat gloves and a wind apron over the lot.
They are toasty - they wouldn’t sleep if they weren’t. They end up with a little bubble of warm air around them so their faces are Ok.

Don’t forget as well that it’s cold here (I’m in Sweden and I don’t know where you are in Finland Natsku but I know it’s often older over there) and if you weren’t dressed and prepared for the cold you’d spend six months of the year indoors. We HAVE to go out - so we have to dress for it. The type and quality of clothing and kit we have for both children and adults here is nothing like what you get in the Uk - its designed to have you outside in really severe temperatures.

Babies do sleep really well outside. I’m quite a cautious mum so I never left mine out of my sight - it’s ‘other side of the patio doors while I have a cuppa because if I bring him in I have to open five layers of insulation and he will wake.’

Like everything, it’s how you do it. Sitting outside at a cafe with them on the pram (cafes here have blankets and furs in winter) or sitting with them a metre from you all wrapped up is fine for me. My MIL would have just parked him out back and got on with housework which I wasn’t happy with - line of sight is my line in the sand in this one! Our back garden is open (elk and various things wander through) so I never left him out of sight or hearing.

RepealMay25th · 08/04/2018 10:55

I still don't understand why you wouldn't just take the baby for a walk? Presumably because the motivation here isn't what's best for the baby but the parents having a break

Why would she want to walk for up to 3 hours every day, when the child is just as happy parked safely in the garden?

If you think its dangerous how on earth are there any people left in the whole of Scandinavia, pretty much all of who spent their first year or 2 sleeping outside? Or indeed how are you here in the UK, when your parents or grandparents and so on possibly did as well?

Obie4 · 08/04/2018 11:12

naksu oh ok thanks, its worth nearing in mind for the future. I love finding out all of these new mum things.
I Do think that could have been the naibours issue, she, like me just didn't know that this was a done thing. I remember my nan making me feel awful when my then 6 week old dd didn't have a hat, socks or cardigan on in mid summer during a heatwave. So I think she would have flipped if I'd have left her In the garden to sleep. Grin. Depends how your brought up and what your told I suppose.

MaggieS41 · 08/04/2018 11:23

Regarding the comment on adults sleeping in a car in cold weather, remember our temperature regulates differently to babies. Hence why we don’t use the same tog when it comes to duvets! The danger for babies is overheating.

Springersrock · 08/04/2018 11:23

My brother and I napped outside most days when we were babies, my 2 napped outside too

The only time DD2 would nap properly was if she was outside. We’d pick her sister up from school and she’d sleep in the back garden for an hour or 2. I’d always be nearby - pottering in the kitchen sorting dinner, helping Dd1 with homework at the kitchen table

SinceWhenDid · 08/04/2018 11:34

Isn't it actually far more risky to bring a sleeping baby inside in a pram?

If they are wrapped up for outside they will be far too hot inside. And if you unwrap them the little blighters wake up!

Heartworries · 08/04/2018 12:08

Have done this and will do this when the sunshine shows a bit more. Dont woryy op

Anatidae · 08/04/2018 12:09

sn't it actually far more risky to bring a sleeping baby inside in a pram?

This is why the huge pram sleeping bags are used in cold countries - if you’re walking to the bus /on the bus/to shops/in shops you just zip and unzip and the temp is regulated rather than dressing and undressing.
It was an odd thing to get used to but they do, hand on heart, sleep well in the fresh air.

I do always have a line of sight of doing it though - there’s the cliche of leaving babies outside cafes and t be honest I’ve never seen that in any but tiny places. I dont think people do it much anymore in the cities, at least not where I am. I wouldn’t.

SickofThomasTheTank · 08/04/2018 12:27

What if he vomited? But then I suppose napping in cot alone holds the same risks.

Best thing to do, is call SS yourself and ask them objectively! Problem solved.

I would say as long as nobody (and no animals) can get to him....?

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 08/04/2018 12:34

not leaving a baby alone outside so you can watch TV untroubled be considered abnormal.

Err yeah, cause that’s what I said Hmm it’s leaving the baby outside so it can sleep. Being able to watch tv is just a bonus. The baby sleeps whether you watch the tv or not.

Snoreyhell · 08/04/2018 12:50

Do you really begrudge a parent a chance to sit down and read or chat with a friend or watch a tv show?

This is what you said.

Anatidae · 08/04/2018 12:52

I wouldnt watch TV with mine outside. I keep an eye on them.

blackteasplease · 08/04/2018 12:58

This is what all parents did traditionally isn't it? And as pps have said it's the norm in Scandinavia. Sounds absolutely lovely to me. I'd love a warm comfy wrapped up space outside to sleep with cool air all around!

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 08/04/2018 13:17

This is what you said.

Yep, that’s it. Glad you can admit when you’re wrong.

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 08/04/2018 13:19

I wouldnt watch TV with mine outside. I keep an eye on them.

Do you mean eyes on baby in the pram? That’s exactly what would be happening if I was watching TV while baby slept outside.

Anatidae · 08/04/2018 13:25

Do you mean eyes on baby in the pram? That’s exactly what would be happening if I was watching TV while baby slept outside.

I mean staying within sight. And I’m considered quite fussy for that here. I wouldn’t go out of sight of the pram, for example to sort the laundry out, or watch TV ( mine isn’t where I could do that and be within sight of the pram) or sort stuff out in another room. Most people do here- I don’t andbim considered odd for it. Hey ho.

If you can sit and watch TV and be a metre away from then and also see into the pram why not? Swedish daytime tv is purgatory which is another reason why I don’t ...Grin

Obviously I’d need a diagram to fully judge you in the manner to which this thread is heading. ;)

pandarific · 08/04/2018 13:28

She’s a bit of a ninny. Let her report you, see how far she gets ninnying them about something so silly!

mummabearfoyrbabybears · 08/04/2018 13:32

That's a really strange thing for her to confront you about. When my eldest two were little we lived in army flats and they always got popped in their prawns and out onto the balcony for fresh air naps. When three and four were tiny they got garden fresh air naps. Never thought much about it really.

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 08/04/2018 13:33
Grin

Your wish is my command

To think that social services wouldn't give a shit about this
BuntyCollocks · 08/04/2018 13:33

It was the only way my reflux-y dd would sleep. She was always dressed for the weather, with appropriate coverings for wind, rain or shine. I had her out in all weathers and she sat in the buggy at our living room doors where I could see and hear her. 3 hours peace every day. Not strange at all, the norm in Scandi countries and SS will not give a shiny brass shit.

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