Football over seeing me?

[Mellodrama]

...to be concerned that my DP would rather watch the footy than come round to see me (on an evening he usually would, when his DC's go to their mums)?

Or is it just a typical man thing? I'm hoping just that

If it's a rare occasion it's fine. If he cancels all the time, not so much.

How long have you been together and how often do you see each other?

Together 10 months - we see each other Tuesday evening, Friday, occasionally Saturday and do stuff together with our DC's (he has 2 who live with him, I have 3).

He doesn't cancel, he's done it twice now when a big game or fight is on

I would say completely normal, especially this late in football season. I just accept it and look forward to summer when there is less football on

I can't see the problem really. If its an important game you can see each other another time. Wouldn't bother me.

Sorry, my last post should've said he doesn't cancel - rather he'll just tell me prior that he won't be coming round as he's watching the match with his dad etc

I don't think you have anything to worry about. It would be very restrictive to never be able to watch a big event or do anything on certain nights a week because you're afraid of hurting somebody's feelings so I suggest you go about your own business and don't give it a second thought.

Twice in 10 months is absolutely fine. You will both occasionally have other stuff on the nights you usually see each other.

I don't see what the problem is.

Thank you for your replies, I suffer from extreme relationship anxiety so always feel paranoid if something like this pops up

I love the formula 1, i'd rather stay home alone, relax and watch that the times its on regular Tv live, than go visiting someone who isn't a fan and won't want to watch it/won't enjoy it/ will be a distraction, even if they were the person i was dating. He's having some "me" time, relaxing, watching his sport of choice.

I just wondered, whether it was a sign he isn't that into me with it being on an evening he would usually come round?

It just means he has balanced interests and that you aren’t the only thing in his life. Which is healthy and normal.

Or is it just a typical man thing?

There's no such thing as a "typical man thing".

I don't think it is a sign at all that he isn't into you - just something that he enjoyed I presume before you got together happens to clash on this one occasion.

Why not suggest meeting a different night if it happens again?

Sounds totally ok. It's getting to the best part of the season: the most exciting and crucial matches.

Unless he sets the football schedule then no.

I've been the jealous and paranoid party before OP and it isn't fun for either of you and it will destroy your relationship if you don't take steps to get over it.

I'm not a man and in his situation I'd be doing exactly the same thing if there's a big match on.

Not a sign at all!

Does he try and reschedule, if your next visit is more than a few days away? Like, I can't come Tuesday but how about Wednesday?

Sounds totally normal to me. In the early months of dating my OH if either of us had an event on a night we'd normally meet up it was fine, that's life. I'm not gonna not attend a gig I want to be at because it falls on 'our night'. Sometimes we'd even cancel (rarely but still) just because one of us was exhausted or wanted a super early night or just wanted some time alone. Not a big deal if the rest of your relationship is good, I'd have considered it a red flag re controlling behaviour if I'd messaged saying I couldn't come because I was at an event or I fancied the night alone and he got annoyed or upset with me

Definitely not a typical man thing, I would happily give up an evening with my husband to watch football! As others have said, it’s fine for him to have other interests, I wouldn’t worry x

Thanks guys. Unfortunately he can't reschedule as his DC's live with him, so the only mid-week night they go to their mums is a Tuesday, so we'd need to wait for the Friday or Saturday then.

If it’s tonight’s game, then it’s a huge match and anybody who is in to football will be wanting to watch it. Definitely don’t worry!

I think you're seeing plenty of each other, considering you have 5 children between you and (presumably) have other responsibilities too.

There's nothing wrong with him occasionally wanting to do something else which happens to fall on a day he would usually see you. That's normal.

Twice in 10 months with prior notice is fine. He's watching it with his Dad, which sounds great.

I think it is fine, but then I am set up for the football in an hour. I do think if you are with someone who has interests it’s best to have some of your own and not always let them take second place to your partner.

It depends who he supports! If it is his local team or that where he grew up, then twice in ten months is OK.

If he is a Man U supporter then not good. Though why he would want to watch them get thrashed I have no idea.