Football over seeing me?

[Mellodrama]

...to be concerned that my DP would rather watch the footy than come round to see me (on an evening he usually would, when his DC's go to their mums)?

Or is it just a typical man thing? I'm hoping just that

I’m guessing we’re either talking tonight’s game (City v United) or last night’s (Cardiff v Wolves). In both cases, these games are HUGE in the context of the season if you’re a supporter of any of those teams.

Its a huge day for footy fans with wall to wall important games. Its not personal. Why can't you go & watch the matches with him or suggest going to a pub to watch them? But expect & don't be offended when he ignores you!

The Manchester City V Liverpool game on Tuesday night is huge.

It's not a man thing, it's a football supporter thing - and I will be watching tonight's game, and Tuesday nights game; and Thursday nights game... luckily DP does not mind at all!

See it as a sign of a healthy relationship. I would have suggested maybe meeting, but you'd have to be aware that he'd be watching the game not chatting to you, and I'm not sure that sounds like something you'd be comfortable with yet - and he probably can't do that if he's already got plans with his dad.

Can you make other plans tonight?

It sounds perfectly fine to me and even more fine because it's quality time with his father. There are sometimes things I'd rather do than spend time with DH.

"There's no such thing as a "typical man thing".

Of course there are @JacquesHammer

Yes, sometimes people want to do other things...

@mentallyDividing Do share....?

What is a “typically man thing”

I'd never expect my husband to miss watching his favourite team play football except if there was an emergency ofc. They're my favourite team too though which helps.

People are really loyal to their favourite teams and anxious to watch them when they play, it's not personal if they choose to watch them over spending time with their partner.

It's only a problem if they're the type that has to watch every game no matter who is playing or what sport, but that doesn't sound like the case with your partner.

My last boyfriend hated football. I'm not into gaming like he is. So on Saturday afternoons he go home from mine to game in peace and I'd get settled into the football, and then do the lengthy post-match dissection on the phone with my mum afterwards.

If he is a Man U supporter then not good. Though why he would want to watch them get thrashed I have no idea.

You have no idea why a 'Man U' fan would want to watch the derby? You must be really into football.

OP, if he is a United or City fan and you think he should see you instead of watching the derby then frankly you shouldn't be going out with him at all. Also, anxiety really isn't an excuse for being controlling, which I'd say questioning someone having plans that don't involve you on average once every five months certainly is. I know you're questioning us not him (I hope) but that's still pretty concerning behaviour and you need to stop it pronto.

@JacquesHammer

What do you mean by "Do share ....?"

What is a “typically man thing”

Well, an apt example considering the question the OP asked is watching football (or most other sports, for that reason).

journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/1012690216671019

womstsports.wordpress.com/category/professional-sports/attendance-at-professional-games/

A few others off the top of my head;

wearing a 3 piece suit to get married

losing your virginity before turning 17

drinking pints

being 5' 10"

not using mumsnet

I thought he was just watching it by himself and was a bit 😳 as surely he could watch it at yours, but if it’s a thing he’s doing with his Dad then YABU and a bit controlling to try and stop it

I'd say questioning someone having plans that don't involve you on average once every five months certainly is [controlling]

LOL

Questioning plans "twice a year" is controlling?

Congrats on the reading I guess?

Watching football is totally normal OP and I am sure does not reflect on his feelings for you. There should be give and take in every relationship.
I'm sure he would be ok with you going on a girly night out on an occasional Friday night!

My dh likes football I don't so when there is a big game on he watches it and I find something else to do. Same when there is an important rugby league match on, he's not that interested but gets that I am. It's normal to have different interests.

There are a lot of big games on today. I've cancelled all my plans. Don't take it to heart

Totally normal and you had better expect a month of it this summer with the World cup.

Try offering him 45 mins each way and a meat pie and Bovril at half time.

Twice in two months is fine, especially for a big match. It’s nice he wants to spend time with his Dad.

I agree with Bunt, be careful not to become over jealous or controlling.

As a City fan I can assure you todays game is hugeeeee, it's not just a regular game and most football fans regardless of what team they support will be watching it. Just tell him to enjoy the day with his dad and you hope his team wins only if he's a city fan

It's hard when you have a routine of seeing your boyfriend, especially when you have children, but sometimes things have to give.

My own boyfriend has gone mountain biking this weekend. Means I won't see him for a fortnight, because of childcare, work, and my own hobby taking over right now, but it's just one of those things.

Have you something planned for yourself tonight?

Massive football loving family here (City).

Nothing wrong with what your DP does. We never plan anything around games, it’s just the way it is.

No it's a typical woman thing - if you are a football supporter.

One a month, hell, dammit, once a week would be ok with me. He is with his Dad. That's really nice.