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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dog owners allowing their dog to approach mine while mine is on the lead.

79 replies

Totsntantrums · 06/04/2018 17:53

When my dog was a pup, she was attacked by a dog off lead. She is now extremely anxious and we are working on this with a behaviourist. She is much better now but I still prefer to keep our distance at the moment.

I try to walk her during quieter times and always keep her on the lead but I am so fed up of dogs bounding up to us with the owner calling “it’s ok they are fine” while half attempting to call their dog back. I usually tell them that my dog is not ok with dogs and often the owner will apologise and/or call their dog back.

My AIBU is from today. A man let his dog run up to mine. I just called “my dog is not good with other dogs” and he started shouting at me saying “well you should bloody muzzle it then”. He didn’t even attempt to call his dog back.

My dog has never been aggressive to another dog and as far as I am concerned I have my dog under control.

AIBU to think that you should not let your dog approach random dogs even if they are fine?

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 06/04/2018 17:56

I would think the norm for dogs is to greet each other surely so I think YABU a bit.

Panicmode1 · 06/04/2018 17:57

YADNBU!

I always call my dog back if another dog is on a lead - but there are an awful lot of people who think that whatever suits them should suit everybody else (bit like life generally now I guess!).

Brian9600 · 06/04/2018 17:59

YANBU. There are all sorts of reasons a dog might be on the lead. It’s normal not to let others approach.

You may get better results if you shout, “keep away- we’ve got kennel cough!” Wink

Sophisticatedsarcasm · 06/04/2018 18:00

I hate hate hate this! I do let my dog off of a lead but as soon as I see another dog she goes back on. It’s not fair and the dog is usually on a lead for a reason. I hate people that just let thier dogs run wild and then they agitate the dog on the l3ad because they start to feel a bit insecure then an all out fight occurs. The worst bit is when they say ‘ my dog is friendly’ well stupid fecking idiot not all people get on and the same goes for dogs. But yet they just mosy along in thier little bubble of senile thinking the sun shines out of thier dogs ass.

ScribblyGum · 06/04/2018 18:00

YANBU but most dog owners don’t know (or choose to ignore) this “rule” of dog owning etiquette.

I’ve seen a few dogs about with the yellow lead and jacket on with ‘My Dog Needs Space’ on. I always put my dog on the lead if I see another on-lead dog approaching but the yellow jacket makes it even more obvious.

missyB1 · 06/04/2018 18:01

Get one of those yellow “nervous dog” harnesses, that helps me to know my dog shouldn’t approach as I can see them from a distance and will stop my dog from running over.

But to a certain extent it is normal for dogs to want to greet each other, so try not to get nervous yourself as your dog will pick up on that.

Jamiefraserskilt · 06/04/2018 18:01

I hate this. If the dog starts bounding over i shout for them to call it back as the dog does not do other dogs. I don't care if they are harmless or friendly. The dog will not attack but gets arsey. When other dogs approach i short leash and distract, usually changing direction. Slowly over time he is ignoring the other dog and gets rewarded for not going into meltdown. I just wish others would a) do as I ask and b) not assume he will attack.

Pasithea · 06/04/2018 18:02

Yellow ribbon or something is the official way to notify others.

littlecabbage · 06/04/2018 18:03

I agree with you OP. My (quite small and elderly) dog does not like huge dogs coming and shoving their noses up her bottom when she is on the lead. So when passing another dog on a path, I keep her on a short lead and on the side of me away from the other dog.

But sometimes the other owner fails to notice this, and keeps their dog on a really long lead so that it can bother my dog, and then acts surprised when my dog barks (never snaps) at their dog. Why don’t they read other owners’ signals better?

falsepriest · 06/04/2018 18:04

YADNBU

This pisses me off. Always walk mine on a lead, and actively detour to avoid others, but there's always some twat who's "but mine's lovely" and it kicks off. My dog is fine in his own environment, just don't need other fluffy shits invading it.

Againfaster · 06/04/2018 18:04

not totally unreasonable, but I'd wonder why you needed to walk the dog in areas that are going to have dogs off lead. If yours is on a lead you could walk them anywhere, but there is limited spaces for people to let them off and play/socialise as normal, and is usually encouraged by other dog owners to prevent socialisation issues happening to their dogs.

elefunk · 06/04/2018 18:04

You are completely right!
I can't understand why people let their dogs off the lead if the recall isn't good enough!

My dog has ripped the lead out of my hand trying to get away from an off lead dog running towards us (attacked 5 times and counting... stitches, antibiotics the lot!)

I keep her on the lead at all times as she is so nervous from these past experiences, she's so placid and timid and definitely doesn't need a muzzle Hmm

You are well within your right to tell someone to put their dog on lead/control/recall it back, it's not fair on others to have a badly behaved or uncontrollable dog roaming around the park- friendly or not.

Original poster
Totsntantrums · 06/04/2018 18:07

@brian now that is a good idea Grin

We have a yellow collar and halter for nervous dogs but I think from a distance people assume it is a high visibility and pay little attention to it.

OP posts:
PattiStanger · 06/04/2018 18:10

I can see both sides, if I had a dog that was nervous and needed to be on a lead I'd walk it on pavements where I wouldn't meet dogs off leads.

If I was walking a dog off lead in a field I wouldn't expect to have to be on the look out constantly for nervous dogs on leads.

One of the yellow leads might be the way to start. Do you go to lots of different places, ime dog owners in an area tend to know the quirks of the other dogs in that area and are usually considerate of them

OrangeHorses · 06/04/2018 18:10

YANBU

I always assume a dog is on a lead for a reason and call mine away from it.

MoonlightKissed · 06/04/2018 18:11

All dog owners should be in control of their dogs. If they cannot control their dog off-lead, it should be on-lead. It is rude and stupid to allow your off-lead dog to approach an on-lead dog without checking with the owner whether their dog is ok with it. I actually don't think dogs should be allowed off-lead to approach anyone - animal or human - without the dog owner checking that the person/animal being approached is ok with it. And yes, I own dogs, and yes, I keep my on-lead unless I know that it's fine for them to be off-lead.

I'm getting pretty fed up of off-lead dogs and their owners. As a dog owner, a walker, a horse rider & someone living in the countryside, seriously - enough with the off-lead out of control dogs! I am fed up of people letting their dogs run up to my horses heels, putting themselves at risk of being trod on or kicked, while telling me that it's fine because their dog is only playing - usually while their dog is barking/biting at my horses heels. I'm fed up of other peoples dogs chasing sheep (and other livestock) in the countryside - this is an ever increasing problem - and the excuse that the dog is only playing just doesn't wash - it still distresses the sheep, and can cause abortion - let alone the cases where the dogs actually attack and injure/kill the sheep.

Dogs should be on leads while around other living things, unless there is agreement by all parties that it is ok.

TopBitchoftheWitches · 06/04/2018 18:13

I had an interesting situation with my dog (who wears a jacket saying she needs space) yesterday.
She was onlead (she is a gsd) and I saw another gsd (all black and beautiful) also onlead approaching.
I got my dog to sit and held her collar as I knew what was coming.
I apologised to the other dog walker over my dogs barking and he simply said 'you haven't seen what she is going to do yet'
Then his dog also started barking at my dog.

It was all very polite between the dog owners and he used it as a chance to get his own dog to sit and be quiet and then give her a treat for doing so.
Turns out his dog is only two whilst mine is 10.

That's how I wish all dog owners would be, some breeds are more protective than others.

mummabubs · 06/04/2018 18:27

YANBU at all. This annoys me so, so much. Part of being a responsible owner is having your dog under control and that means not letting it bound up to other dogs when there are signs that the other dog may not like to be greeted- ie muzzled or on lead. Our dog has also been attacked and is now skittish so he gets walked on lead when we're not out in the country. The whole "mine is friendly" response makes my blood boil! ☹️ It's not up to you to muzzle your dog when on lead and at a distance, it's up to the other owner to not let yours be pounced upon!! Urgh.

tabulahrasa · 06/04/2018 18:29

YANBU

If a dog is on a lead you keep yours away, you have no clue whether it’s dog reactive, old and infirm, injured, recovering from an illness or just having an on lead training session.... but guaranteed it’s not going to be something that needs a badly socialised dog interfering.

SharkSave · 06/04/2018 18:31

YANBU I get the rage in a similar way about dogs approaching my DC!

YellowFlipFlops · 06/04/2018 18:44

YADNBU!

I thought the unofficial rule was to clip your dog on if you see another dog approaching on a lead. I always clip mine back on now when I see other dogs because I think he's getting a bit grumpier/less tolerant in his old age.

A dog walker came down the main path of the woods we walk in last week, with five or six dogs off lead. She let all the dogs swarm around me and my dog, who I'd already put back on his lead when I saw them. One of them got in my dogs face (in a friendly way to be fair) and I pushed him away with my foot. It yelped in surprise and backed off. It probably looked awful, but if I was happy for my dog to run around with a group of dogs he doesn't know, I wouldn't have him on a lead would I.

Me and DH suspect a lot of this behaviour comes from people who have always had submissive/placid dogs who are always "fine" and just don't get that some dogs aren't like that.

auditqueen · 06/04/2018 18:48

My GSD was attacked by a small terrier when she was fairly young and, being an anxious pup, she has been scared of all other dogs since. We tried the yellow harness, but she's also scared of that. Have consulted a behaviourist, but nothing seems to work.

The fear then extended to small children running up at her - anything moving towards her fast is enough to scare her and when she's scared she starts growling and can seem fierce and dangerous- she's not. She's just scared.

We now make sure she only goes for walks when we know no one else is around - either dogs or kids. She does go off the lead, but walks beside us and never runs off and has excellent recal. If we see any other dog/child she goes back on the lead and we take a detour.

Itsnotanthrax · 06/04/2018 18:52

YANBU.
It's rude and so unnecessary.

BumpowderSneezeonAndSnot · 06/04/2018 19:23

Yanbu this is one of my biggest bugbear as a dog owner I hate the "It's ok my dogs friendly" brigade.

I have had a man hit my dog before when his dog approached mine and mine did her usual trick of getting defensive and aggressive. So rather than walking past us he stopped, started a row with me and hit my dog. I was so tempted to let my girl loose but then I'd have been in the wrong

SureIusedtobetaller · 06/04/2018 19:32

Dogs shouldn’t be off lead unless they have really good recall. I have an anxious reactive dog and most people are good and call dogs in when we pass. Some don’t. I’ve had a couple of nasty experiences when people just thought it was ok to let their dog keep approaching even after we made it clear.
If a dog gets hurt it’s the fault of the off lead dog - I was told this by a dog trainer. Mine is on lead and under control.
What makes me furious is tiny little angry dogs who bark and growl at mine, then it’s MY dog’s fault for reacting just because he’s a breed with a reputation...
YADNBU