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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Dog owners allowing their dog to approach mine while mine is on the lead.

79 replies

Totsntantrums · 06/04/2018 17:53

When my dog was a pup, she was attacked by a dog off lead. She is now extremely anxious and we are working on this with a behaviourist. She is much better now but I still prefer to keep our distance at the moment.

I try to walk her during quieter times and always keep her on the lead but I am so fed up of dogs bounding up to us with the owner calling “it’s ok they are fine” while half attempting to call their dog back. I usually tell them that my dog is not ok with dogs and often the owner will apologise and/or call their dog back.

My AIBU is from today. A man let his dog run up to mine. I just called “my dog is not good with other dogs” and he started shouting at me saying “well you should bloody muzzle it then”. He didn’t even attempt to call his dog back.

My dog has never been aggressive to another dog and as far as I am concerned I have my dog under control.

AIBU to think that you should not let your dog approach random dogs even if they are fine?

OP posts:

freshstart24 · 06/04/2018 19:33

I think you are right in principal but as the owner of an over friendly Dog I can see both sides.

My dog loves to play and greet other dogs. He is very passive in play but I accept that many dogs don't want to be greeted so I am always on the look out for other dogs.m and never allow him to approach an on lead Dog if I can avoid it.

I always walk on lead on pavements and in parks. I do let him off lead in fields and his recall is very good so provided I see an on lead Dog before my Dog arrives in front of one. I always get him in lead when I see another dog who is on the lead.

Very occasionally my dog goes up to an on lead Dog before I've had a chance to recall him. I will always get him back ASAP and will reassure the other owner that he is friendly. I accept that this is of little help in your circumstance but I think it helps to clarify that I am calling my god back out of politeness not because he is unfriendly. This happens very rarely and only maybe in a situation like a wood where my Dog is a god few metres ahead and another dog has appeared out of nowhere.

Sloegin2 · 06/04/2018 19:36

YANBU!

This is good dog etiquette.
My dogs are often off lead in appropriate places. If we come across a dog onlead I will recall them and put them on lead until the other dog has passed. Generally smile at other owner and allow the dogs to say hello/sniff etc if they instigate it. If not, we smile and walk past, letting the girls back off lead once we’re past them.

Fitzsimmons · 06/04/2018 19:40

YANBU. Not a dog owner but I have nerve damage in my arm from being attacked by a stranger's dog as I walked along a pavement.

I brick it every time a dog runs up to me and every fucking time I want to smack the dog owner who says "oh but he's friendly."

The dog who attacked me had never shown any aggression to anyone before. If your dog has crap recall it should be on a lead when out in public.

Buttercupsandaisies · 06/04/2018 19:43

I agree in part but it would and does annoy me when I'm on a field in the middle of nowhere and a dog comes from round a bend on a lead, and the owner freaks out. Like a pp said, you can walk on lead anywhere.

I walk her off lead daily in the woods and do so for exercise but more so socialisation. If I had a dog that bad with others I think I'd be found something about it to be honest

Buttercupsandaisies · 06/04/2018 19:43

Found - doing

Lazypuppy · 06/04/2018 19:46

@Totsntantrums i always call my dog back or put him on the lead if i see a dog on the lead as i don't know why they are on the lead, however it frustrates me when people walk dogs on lead on well known dog paths/walks where they know they will meet dogs off leads.

Surely it would make more sense to walk on pavements where you won't meet dogs off lead. Your dog isn't enjoying the area anymore as they are on the lead.

tabulahrasa · 06/04/2018 19:58

“Your dog isn't enjoying the area anymore as they are on the lead.”

Of course they are, varied walks are more enjoyable for any dog, on or off lead. Why should the dog under control be the one restricted to pavements?

Original poster

Totsntantrums · 06/04/2018 20:13

We do walk on pavements often. We also use a large open field. We use it as part of the ongoing work we are doing with her and it also allows us to see in the distance. We do not walk in woods.

When she was attacked, she was actually on a pavement so I prefer the field where we can keep a reasonable distance. Most dogs owners are very good and understanding but I have had dogs bound over from the other side of the field and it is obvious that the owner has no hope of calling them back.

OP posts:

MoonlightKissed · 06/04/2018 20:16

For those saying that they can't always stop their off lead dog meeting an on lead dog, due to not being able to see round the corner, or not seeing the other dog in time to recall your dog - I don't get this, I really don't.

If you can't see ahead clearly enough to be sure of what is around the corner, surely your dog should be closer to you, or on a lead? Anything could be there! You cannot keep your dog safe, if you cannot see ahead?!

My current dogs are all pretty much ok with others, but in years gone by, I have had a seriously dog-aggressive dog. I had to avoid all places with other dogs, at all. He was awful. When younger, he was walked in a muzzle. He came to me this way - a rescue, no idea what happened to make him this way. But no matter how much you try to avoid other dogs completely, you can't. And the number of times I had someone's dog gaily galloping towards me, while the owner cheerfully told me their dog was fine - to which I was crapping myself, while thinking - not for long, it won't be. Anyway. My point being that I made sure he had excellent recall, and if I couldn't see ahead to make sure there were no other dogs, he wasn't off lead. Ever. I don't see why this is such a difficult concept for people.

If your dog doesn't have good recall, don't let it off the lead. Don't let it approach people, dogs, horses or livestock without permission of the person/owner. If you can't see far enough ahead to be sure that your dog is not going to cause a problem with what could walk round the corner, don't let it off lead. Why is this so difficult for people?

Turnocks34 · 06/04/2018 20:16

People do this to mine too. I tell them she’s not and she will bite if she gets sniffed. She doesn’t really bite but growls and works herself up, which isn’t nice for her and is only a small step away from biting I’m sure.

MidnightAura · 06/04/2018 20:20

Yanbu.

This is my pet peeve. My dog was also attacked (more than once) and the amount of people that ignore me when I ask can you please lead your dog is unreal. I’ve also had the whole “your dog should be muzzled if she doesn’t like it” but my attitude is if you see a dog and your dog doesn’t have a solid recall, lead the bloody thing.

SluttyButty · 06/04/2018 20:22

Yadnbu! These 'my dog is friendly' dog walkers can sod off thinking they're in the right not recalling their dog when it's off lead.
My dog is the same as yours, we try to limit her having contact with other dogs but you still get these twats who think were in the wrong, with our dog on lead, under control and pulled in tight to the knee. Any responsible dog owner should know what that means!

Buttercupsandaisies · 06/04/2018 20:22

Genuine question but why are all these aggressive, timid, growing dogs not undergoing training? Surely they're not going to be on lead for life?!

SherryBaby11 · 06/04/2018 20:25

He was being unreasonable as I think Its an unwritten rule that if a dog is on a lead you keep your dog on one too or put it back on if not on already.

However no matter how careful owners are it can easily happen by accident. If youre walking and appear from round a corner and another owner has their dog off lead, and doesnt have time to re-leash before the dog runs up to greet, for example. This sort of thing has happened to me a few times as my dog is really friendly and wants to greet every dog. Its also happend on a field near me where everyone has their dog run about off lead, then suddenly someone appears from the adjacent bush area nearby with an on-lead dog and all the off leash dogs run up.

Gide · 06/04/2018 20:25

Mine was also attacked when young and is now reactive. I’m sick of asking people to recall their dogs then being told mine should be muzzled or not walked in public. Where should I walk him?? Given mine is under tight control and theirs isn’t, I don’t think I’m at fault!

MidnightAura · 06/04/2018 20:25

My dog isn’t aggressive. She is anxious about dogs that are unfamiliar to her that come up and stick their face in hers or leap on her. She gets off lead time and she spends time with dogs she is growing up with and she knows well.

BumpowderSneezeonAndSnot · 06/04/2018 20:26

My dog is on lead for life. She's had extensive training from the rescue centre we got her from and from previous owners (plural! People keep giving up on her) she came to us with warning the reactivity cannot be trained out. She's a dream dog otherwise just needs to be on the lead.

SluttyButty · 06/04/2018 20:26

Butters of course they can be on lead for life. Most have been through previous trauma of some kind and will remember it. Mine does, I want to protect her and other dogs and as an older dog we can't change that.

SherryBaby11 · 06/04/2018 20:28

And my dog does have good recall 95% of the time. But its very seldom dogs have it 100%. Also its impossible to teach a dog recall without having them off lead in just about every situation. They dont transfer info across situations like we do (eg 100% recall in the garden does not mean they'll have it in the park/in someone else's house/where there are other, unfamiliar dogs).

Greyhorses · 06/04/2018 20:29

There’s no excuse for dogs to run up to anyone. I have a 10 month old and a 6 year old and neither have come within a meter of anyone else dog or human without permission.
If I couldn’t recall either they would not be off lead and both are extremely friendly, I wouldn’t take the risk of mine getting themselves into trouble.

I also used to have an aggressive dog (who had been attacked) and this would drive me mad. In the end I resorted to a muzzle and also shouting that she had an infectious disease- failing that I found standing between the dog and my dog and aggressively telling the dog to go away worked better than allowing my dog to get rid of it his way!

tabulahrasa · 06/04/2018 20:31

“Surely they're not going to be on lead for life?!”

I’ve got one that probably will be tbh, he’s got joint problems, his offlead time has to be very strictly controlled or the numpty will injure himself.

You’ve also got to remember that every time a reactive dog is put past threshold by a “friendly”* dog it sets their training back considerably.

And some reactive dogs are offlead when there are no dogs in sight and on lead when there are.

any dog approaching a reactive dog isn’t actually friendly, they’re badly socialised and by dog behaviour standards rude thugs, a well socialised actual friendly dog would read the reactive dogs very obvious signals and leave them alone.

ovendoor · 06/04/2018 20:31

YANBU!

My old, blind/deaf dog does not appreciate the stealth attacks he faces, it's a nightmare! Yet, the owners will happily shout "oh, s/he's friendly!"

Yeah, not to my dog who is not expecting a surprise attack!

Toooldtobearsed · 06/04/2018 20:33

It relly is the strangest thing, i almost thought this thread was about me!

I have two labs, both with excellent recall, or so i thought.......... i have NEVER had a problem calling them back from any situation, and always do so when i see a dog on lead.
They ALWAYS come back.
Until today, when oldest lab totally and completely ignored me to dance and prance around a very barky greyhound.
I was mortified. It has never happened before (tbh, it has, when two rabbits ran directly in front of us, but i cant get over upset about that).

Woman with greyhound said that other dogs had reacted in the same way to hers, and that their owners, like me, swore blind it had never happened before.

My dogs are as soft as shite, rolling over and showing their bellies at the first opportunity, but i still would not want them running full barrel up to me, they are big, strong dogs!

I will, of course, be working with them more closely for a while, but it is a lot easier to lose control of what you believed to be decently behaved dogs than you would think. I think i must got very blase about their recall.🤐

Pfftlife · 06/04/2018 20:34

This drives me insane and happens all the time!
I have two dogs. One is very anxious and nervous and the other is fine. I keep them on the lead around other dogs to show people not to come near us but every bloody night some dog will bound up right in their face, this scares my bitch so my dog gets angry and starts barking at them. It makes me feel terrible that he starts barking at another dog but he's doing it to protect her because she's so scared! And funnily enough I'm the one that gets the tuts and angry looks

Wolfiefan · 06/04/2018 20:36

I always assume a dog on a lead is on a lead for a reason. My dog is very friendly and loves all other dogs. BUT that dog could be injured, recovering from surgery, nervous, aggressive, in training. If I see a dog on lead I put mine on or walk the other way. It's good manners.

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