GP looking after grandchildren

[greencycle]

Just curious.

If your 10 month old was staying with their grandparents for the night, would you expect them to loosely follow your routine when it comes to baby meal times and what they eat (you supplying the food).

Or would you let them do their own thing as they're doing you a favour?

How would you feel if you're told they'd not feed them what you bring and that they'd feed them what they have?

greencycle, I've got half a dozen GC and do have them to stay alot. With the little ones I would stick to routine as it is better for baby and easier for me. Different with the older ones, maybe 8 or 9 plus, when the fun is granny's rules instead of parents'. I certainly wouldn't be experimenting with what a 10 month old eats/what agrees with them.

I let them do it their way and I’m very grateful. They did raise me/my partner, so think they’ll be ok.

At 10 months old I wouldnt be too upset if they substituted food, tbh. Thats old enough for a bit of flexibility, imo.

I think this is too vague to answer.

If the issues is that we swapped one appropriate meal for another then no problem. If they decided to swap an appropriate meal for something inappropriate then that's more of a problem. How much of a problem depends on exactly what they fed them.

If it's just the principle that's an issue then I think you need to unclench

I'd expect them to keep the baby alive! Fed and on routine is a bonus. Especially as my little ones can be funny about eating when away from home.

But I haven't had a night off in four years so I'm not fussy.

cuppa yup. That’s about where I stand on it too..

At that age I'd expect them to stick to the child's routine. As they get older things can get more relaxed I think.

Depends what it was they'd fed the baby. Prawn vindaloo - not good obviously but shepherds pie - fine.

Not gc but I have my 1year old nephew staying over tonight.

Yes, I’m doing my brother a favour but I have been given my instructions from him and I will follow them as closely as I can. Brother even brought own food for baby round. Routine helps the baby even if the house is different.

Only thing is, I might give him an ice cream when we go out as a treat. Aunty privilege to spoil the baby 🍼👶

Ps - he has no allergies, is allowed ice cream, i will not be causing any issue by letting him have one.

Whatififall, that made me laugh, my secret sin is a couple of chocolate buttons. Parents don't encourage but don't forbid so a couple doesn't hurt.

Since they're doing me a favour I always send food and write down for them what time to feed, what to feed and how much. I think of it as making it as easy as possible for them so they don't have to think about it at all.

I always set rules knowing full well 90% won’t get followed. It’s the fun part for grandparents. I don’t usually mind as long as some are followed. 😊

hereyougosuckmyassforensics that is exactly how I see it but from the grandparents side.

What Deathstare said.
In general, if I were looking after someone else's little one, then it would make life easier all round if the parents brought what they wanted them to eat and as much as possible were kept routine for them. However Grandparents are supposed to spoil their grandchildren, so it does depend how ridiculous specific your routine / rules are.
There is a basic rule that if you rust someone to look after your dc, then you should trust them to make a judgement call on most decisions.
So I'm going to sit on the fence until you tell us what instructions you left, and what the Grandparents did

If we had someone to look after DS for the night they could do whatever routine they liked and feed him whatever so long as he was alive at pick up.

I’d expect them to vaguely follow routines as it would make it easier for them... both my babies were much happier following a loose routine. With regards to meals, I wouldn’t have provided food anyway as my mum would have asked what they liked to eat and fed it to them. If I had provided food and they swapped it for something else suitable, fine. If they swapped it for dominoes pizza, a giant dairy milk and ice cream I wouldn’t be too impressed.
In general though my mum would have done as I’d asked as it would make it easier for everyone involved.

I would only send food if they asked for it, or would offer it for if they wanted it.

Often if a different place routine goes out the window anyway with best of intentions so I wouldn’t be too worried about that side of things either.

As long as the baby is safe and cared for that’s all that matters

It depends what they are being fed. If it's Bolognese being substituted for sausages and chips. No issue.

If my no refined sugar rule was broken however....id be very upset.

Don't get me wrong I'm all for grandparents spoiling their grandchildren with food they wouldn't normally be allowed much of at home. But a 10 month old is too young for refined sugar in my opinion.

So it depends really. But then if you are that concerned, you don't have to have them stay.

How much feeding does a baby need for an overnight stay?

I would expect my 10mo to eat with my parents during mealtimes; so whatever they have with less salt / spice etc.

My sister used to send her children to my parents with typed instructions, which Dad thanked her kindly for then did exactly as he pleased.

When mine were small I used to give my parents instructions regarding routine etc but they largely ignored them.

With hindsight DSis and I were both completely mad. Our parents had managed to get us safely to adulthood as decent human beings and we were getting free childcare from people who loved DC just as much as we did. The level of tolerance DPs showed astounds me.

Dc1 - here is a detailed timetable. Here is regulation food. Here is bedtime ted. Here is a beautiful outfit for tomorrow. Here is a zillion spare of everything. Here is her medical history. Here are the numbers of everywhere we are going to be and times.

Dc2 - you keeping them a few days right? You know what you are doing, meh fuck it. BYE!

I would either provide food , usually make sure parents happy with it, or serve their food! Whatever they wanted really. Would probably stick to times the baby used to eating and going to bed. I have had mine many times for all day and many meals but don't have them overnight till they are about two or three.
What's the issue ?

I'd expect gps to follow our bed time routine as DD wouldn't settle well if that was too different. Now she's older I expect them to follow what we do for potty training so she isnt confused (df refusing to take the travel potty to the park causing her to wet herself did not go down well at all). As to food I agree with everyone else - if they gave him what they were having and it was something appropriate for a baby like spag bol, sausages or daal then fine. If it was a Chinese takeaway then no.

I'd guess they were quite excited and had bought stuff in especially and were looking forward to doing some activities with the DGC so maybe want to deviate from routine a bit. I'd give them the food/routine and leave it up to them. It's a short term thing so I wouldn't be worried if they were having spaghetti hoops on toast instead or organic kale and butternut squash risotto and if they went to bed half an hour later.