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Original poster

GP looking after grandchildren

86 replies

greencycle · 06/04/2018 17:34

Just curious.

If your 10 month old was staying with their grandparents for the night, would you expect them to loosely follow your routine when it comes to baby meal times and what they eat (you supplying the food).

Or would you let them do their own thing as they're doing you a favour?

How would you feel if you're told they'd not feed them what you bring and that they'd feed them what they have?

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 06/04/2018 18:16

I think I'd give a few guidelines as to routines but not an inflexible list of must do's and a huge fuss made if deviated from by one inch.

Thistlebelle · 06/04/2018 18:17

It entirely depends what changing their food and routine entails.

Petalflowers · 06/04/2018 18:17

I would like them to approximately follow routine. However, all,children play up when staying at relatives, so it would be fine if they adapted the evening.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 06/04/2018 18:18

You know what I’d explain the routine,leave written instructions,maybe a video tutorial
And I’d leave knowing as soon as out the door the wean will have a sausage roll hanging out it’s yap
The organic homemade no salt dinner will be in the bin quicker than yiu can say Greggs

And do I sweat it...no
Because we all have to rub along and it’s not worth the aggro

Lifeisshortbuytheshoes · 06/04/2018 18:24

With my first I left gp with very detailed schedule and food etc by the time I had my second I realised it was not needed and they (my mum) was more than capable of knowing how to look after a baby (not first grandchildren).
Although I was a little upset when I found out (much later) that dc had been given ice cream and chocolate when I was keeping them sugar free up to 1.

Mishappening · 06/04/2018 18:24

I really do think it depends on the child. If the parents are clear that changes of routine might upset him, then I would try to stick with whatever they dictate. But I also think that a bit of changes of routine matters not. I look after various GC and there are some things that I would stick to - e.g. if there were particular dietary needs; or a request to try not to let them sleep after a certain time in order not to cause bedtime mayhem. Otherwise things happen at Granny's house that are different from at home - some of them become Granny's House Rituals and I think it is good for children to learn to be adaptable.

I have slightly different rules - I am very strict about please and thank you and putting packets into the bin and not just leaving it lying around. And there are other things that I am less strict about.

I have respect for the parents' wishes about important things; and they respect the fact that I may have slightly different methods.

I am also very clear that as soon as one of their parents walks through the door, then they will dictate the rules from then on - "ask Mummy" is a frequent refrain.

I think that the parents need to recognise that if they are caring for a child of 10 months overnight for the first time, then the grandparents may have to be a bit flexible with rules depending on how content/upset the child is. I know that my DDs are happy for me to use my imagination and brains and that they trust me to do the right thing.

I think that if you plan to leave your child, you simply have to trust the GPs.

I am sure it will all go just fine. Enjoy a free evening!

Somerville · 06/04/2018 18:26

I only leave any instructions about absolute essentials (e.g. allergies) when a relative is kind enough to look after my baby.

DH tried to boss his parents around the first time they babysat, and MIL was like "How about you stay in with DGS and I'll take Somer to dinner instead." That shut him up quickly Grin

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 06/04/2018 18:27

If my no refined sugar rule was broken however....id be very upset. Is that you Gwyneth?
Really?your kid will attend soft play parties,play dates no one will be observing your no refined sugar rule.at.all.ever
By all means observe it at home,but it’s unenforceable when you’re not in charge

Ivebeenaroundtheblock · 06/04/2018 18:27

as a gran that does a small share of sitting, sometimes the little ones get more exited or behave differently when mom and dad aren't around. I've had little ones crash asleep before a bedtime bath....as well as little ones who get dirty and need a bedtime bath (my dil only does a bath every 2-3rd day due to sensitive skin issues). I've had little ones not settle for me and need to go for a stroller ride around the block at midnight. I've had a fussy eater eat her weight in turkey and a good eater turn her nose at mac and cheese.
i do the best i can at that moment in time. hopefully it is helpful and not hurtful.

Leeds2 · 06/04/2018 18:30

If you had gone to the trouble of sending food with baby, I would use that food. I would probably think it a little odd that I couldn't be trusted to feed the child something suitable of my own choosing, but I wouldn't say that and would try to fit in with what the parents wanted.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 06/04/2018 18:31

Kids love GP so they cut loose a bit,lose the routine and it’s all v exciting
I used to really sweat things like this,then I calmed the fuck down
Don’t sweat the small stuff,so long as they’re not passing the kids a spliff it’s all ok

Gatehouse77 · 06/04/2018 18:37

I've always given a crib sheet as a rough guide to their routine but, ultimately, let them do what makes life easier all round.

It's a tiny proportion of the children's life and is unlikely to have any major impact.

tenterden · 06/04/2018 18:38

It depends really. I would stick loosely to the routine, but I might put the baby to bed 15 minutes early if that fitted in with something I wanted to watch on TV for example Blush I think up to an hour leeway either side is fine but anything beyond that is probably asking for trouble.

Food - it depends as PP have said. Banana rather than apple would be fine. A Mars Bar, not fine.

LittleMissNaice · 06/04/2018 18:39

I tend to say “these are the things we do, it works (mostly) for us. You do whatever you need to survive”.

Didiplanthis · 06/04/2018 18:39

My dad used to want a Haynes manual ! The longer and more detailed the instructions the happier he was. And that was for about 2 hours. Not had an overnight break from them in 8 years !!

Bear2014 · 06/04/2018 18:47

I would send food for LO and tell the GP in advance I would be doing this so they wouldn't have to worry about shopping/preparing anything. It would be weird if they disregarded this as it creates more work for them and risks baby being unsettled if food doesn't agree with them, but I wouldn't get worked up.

Mine never went that young though as they were BF.

10 month olds have no concept of treats, there's plenty of time for that later.

RibenaMonsoon · 06/04/2018 18:48

Lipstickhandbagcoffee... who the fuck is Gwyneth?
Bit of mistaken identity there. Projecting much?

Less of the coffee for you perhaps...

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 06/04/2018 18:52

GwynethPaltrow known for her stupid nutrition ideas and no refined sugar for her kids
P.S. Read up on what projection actually means before you use it inappropriately in a sentence

IckleWicklePumperNickle · 06/04/2018 19:02

With oldest my MIL had her own routine they followed at her house. It worked well for both of them. Sadly she passed away at the end of January and he won't have anymore sleep overs or gang gang fun. My youngest won't ever have sleep overs, if he did. It would just be the same.

BigPinkBall · 06/04/2018 19:03

We don’t really have a routine, dd sleeps when she’s tired and eats when she’s hungry so it wouldn’t bother me as long as they weren’t doing anything actively harmful. I’d expect them to give her “treats” like sweets or ice cream.

RibenaMonsoon · 06/04/2018 19:03

I know what it means thank you.

As I said in my original post, I appreciate it's something that children get exposed to as they get older and don't have an issue with grandparents spoiling their grandchildren in that way. Just not to a child as young as 10 months.

My son is nearly 2 and he's been given the occasional treat. Which I don't have an issue with now that he's older.

If you think that not giving a 10 month old refined sugar is stupid nutritional advice (which by the way the nhs also advise) then perhaps you ought to take a course in nutrition.

Allthewaves · 06/04/2018 19:05

I would prefer kept to routine tbh mil never did, rankled me slightly but as dh told me they are fed, loved and happy with then missed nap and some junk food won't kill them

Amanduh · 06/04/2018 19:05

They’re giving up their time to look after bsby so as long as dc was changed, fed and alive I’d be happy!

YimminiYoudar · 06/04/2018 19:07

DS just got back from GPs and according to him has eaten nothing but nuggets&chips or pizza every meal for the last week. I provided a list of 7 meals he would reliably eat (he's a fairly restricted eater and I'm really pleased that we have got to the point that there are 7 meals) of which these are the 2 least healthy.

But I'm chilled. It's been great to have a few evenings child-free. We had dinner out, cinema, saw friends. It was brilliant.

I guess I might have been less chilled when he was 10 months if the possibility of him staying with GPs at that age wasn't laughable (nonsleeping velcrobaby at that age) but generally I would say that I am too grateful for the precious time off to quibble about how it is delivered so would only object it it led to lost limbs/tooth cavities/lifelong addictions.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 06/04/2018 19:08

Ok so you’re no longer frasier crane youve moved on to nhs direct as your oracle
Reread my post,carefully.
Read the bit By all means observe it at home,but it’s unenforceable when you’re not in charge
I’m preparing you for the inevitable non compliance with no refined sugar rule

And yes gwyneth is well known for her daft ideas, lack of understanding of umm actual science.
She also steam cleans her fanny. And has a coffee enema
That’s how v daft she is

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