To want to use a car seat

[EeyoresEars]

Visiting PIL soon, we are travelling by train and not taking a car seat as it’s too bulky (DC outgrown the one that fixes onto a buggy).

We’d arranged to meet friends near to the station we arrive at and spend a few hours at a park/woodland area with them, then get a bus or walk to PIL house where we are staying. PIL suggested getting a takeaway meal that night which we were all happy with.

PIL have now said they want us to join them at a restaurant which we could only get to by car. They suggested we get a taxi there. I phoned the two local taxi firms (only two operate as it’s a small place) and neither have car seats available.

PIL have pointed out that legally we can take DC in a taxi without a car seat. However I’m really not comfortable with this. To me it doesn’t matter whether it’s against the law, what matters is that car seats are proven to be the safest way for a child to travel by car. I don’t want to travel in a taxi without a car seat even if it’s legally allowed.

There’s no way we can take a car seat with us as firstly it’s massive and hard to carry and secondly we would have nowhere to leave it while spending the day with our friends.

So, AIBU to refuse to take DC in a taxi without a car seat, even if it wouldn’t be breaking the law?

This is going to be an ongoing issue every time you visit your PILs.

I would buy a car seat for their house.

Do you have to go to that restaurant? Surely another one that's more accessible would be better all round.

How old is your DC and how much do they weigh?

If you get one that will last a while and it will be used regularly, I agree it's worth having a spare there. It will avoid these issues and give you more options for going out.

How old is DC? Can you just order a car seat to be delivered to PILs to keep there?

Agree with pps; get a car seat to use at PILs. This is what we have had to do as my dad lives in Ireland and taking car seats for two dcs just isn’t practical.

What about a booster seat?

Perhaps not as ideal as a full backed seat but better than nothing, and relatively easy to carry. My 130cm 7 yo has one as her main car seat.

I agree with getting a car seat for the PIL to keep at their house. Especially if they're in stage 1, you can get stage 1/2 seats which would last a bit longer.

Depending on where you're going you can sometimes hire them (we did this in Bournemouth when I visited by train and they were borrowed from a local baby supplies store).

Do your PIL know other people with grandchildren locally (or indeed have friends with their own spare car seat). Maybe you could borrow from a local family for the day? Does DH have any local friends he could contact, presuming PIL still live in his hometown.

Get one of those carse at that lasts 15 months to 12 years (group 123). I got a cheap kiddicare one for my parents and it has lasted ds from 18 months to almost 8.

Depends on how old and tall the child is.

Once DD got to school age, we got a Trunki booster seat. It's a backpack but also a booster. Obviously not as secure as a high-backed booster or indeed a 5-point harness seat, but it sat her up higher to have an adult seatbelt on (and it also secures the seatbelt so it sits on her shoulder). She would wear it as a backpack, so it didn't need to be carried my me!!

Our kids had trunki backpacks too. Obviously only suitable for older children though.

Why don’t you get a cheap group 1-3 car seat (you can get one for less than £50 from Argos or Halfords) to keep at the ILs?

Then get PIL to pick you up from wherever your day out is and drive you to the restaurant. If you won’t all fit in the car, you don’t mention other DC but just in case, then ILs drive to you with car seat(s), pick up the kids, then you and DH get a taxi.

Easy peasy!

What's the difference between a train a bus or taxi if all within the law?

PIL have pointed out that legally we can take DC in a taxi without a car seat. However I’m really not comfortable with this. To me it doesn’t matter whether it’s against the law, what matters is that car seats are proven to be the safest way for a child to travel by car. I don’t want to travel in a taxi without a car seat even if it’s legally allowed.

It would be safer not to go out, and in fact the extra safety would (I guess) dwarf the difference between traveling with and without a car seat. What kind of reckless child-killing parent are you, making unnecessary car journeys with your DC?

Firesuit that’s really helpful to the OP I’m sure.

There’s lots of risk in life, we manage the ones we can. Everyone’s line is in a different place.

Order a seat online to be delivered to their house.

Hard to say without knowing age of child but I imagine sitting up baby pfb.

Also depends on distance and roads but I would sit the baby on my lap with seatbelt over us both.

But always worth having a spare car seat with the grandparents too I think most people do this.

Under say, 4, I would want a car seat unless just going to end of quiet road for example.

I’d be unhappy too. I agree with seeing if they can borrow one or buying one for them to keep.

And I would never share a seat belt, in an impact you would crush them.

Another recommendation for a trunki backpack, especially just for a short journey in a taxi. If your dc is old enough. Mine started using one for shortish journeys aged about 3.

Get them a britax evolva seat which is pretty lightweight and lasts for years, to keep at their house

Moofolk, sorry but I seriously have to point out that that's the very worse thing to do. Your own body would crush the child. Its actually safer to have them next to you with the seatbelt over them. Op I'd get a cheap carseat for at their house.