Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

To want to use a car seat

68 replies

EeyoresEars · 06/04/2018 16:10

Visiting PIL soon, we are travelling by train and not taking a car seat as it’s too bulky (DC outgrown the one that fixes onto a buggy).

We’d arranged to meet friends near to the station we arrive at and spend a few hours at a park/woodland area with them, then get a bus or walk to PIL house where we are staying. PIL suggested getting a takeaway meal that night which we were all happy with.

PIL have now said they want us to join them at a restaurant which we could only get to by car. They suggested we get a taxi there. I phoned the two local taxi firms (only two operate as it’s a small place) and neither have car seats available.

PIL have pointed out that legally we can take DC in a taxi without a car seat. However I’m really not comfortable with this. To me it doesn’t matter whether it’s against the law, what matters is that car seats are proven to be the safest way for a child to travel by car. I don’t want to travel in a taxi without a car seat even if it’s legally allowed.

There’s no way we can take a car seat with us as firstly it’s massive and hard to carry and secondly we would have nowhere to leave it while spending the day with our friends.

So, AIBU to refuse to take DC in a taxi without a car seat, even if it wouldn’t be breaking the law?

OP posts:

welshweasel · 06/04/2018 18:17

I would never travel in a car without DS in a car seat. If that means declining an invitation then so be it. I also don’t trust taxi firms that say they are bringing a seat with them as the only time we tried that they brought a booster seat for a one year old.

NurseryFightClub · 06/04/2018 18:24

Google mothercare Madrid, it's fifty quid at the moment from birth to four years

catkind · 06/04/2018 18:27

Buses and trains have a lot more momentum than cars. Large heavy vehicles don't decelerate as suddenly. So e.g. if bus hits a car, the car passengers get much more of a shock than the bus passengers. Belts in buses and cars are not comparable.

Definitely look into keeping a cheap car seat at grandparents OP if they can possibly find space. No I wouldn't transport a baby in a taxi without something.

We used to sit in the boot on some car journeys and "survived" - but other children weren't so lucky, I'd never do it now.

NurseryFightClub · 06/04/2018 18:27

BTW there reason a train or bus is different to a car, is due to the crumple zone. Eg leas likely to be injured in even of accident

Babyplaymat · 06/04/2018 18:31

FFS, no-one is advocating travelling without a car seat. The majority have said to order one or find another way to travel. One poster said they would belt them in with them and at least 4 posters, including myself, have pointed out that that is hugely dangerous.

Original poster

EeyoresEars · 06/04/2018 18:43

Thanks for all the replies. DC is 20 months, not sure about weight but we asked retailer to check fit of our first car seat before we bought a second one and the first one is definitely outgrown.

We will think about buying a seat to keep there in future but we really can’t afford the extra expense this month so we can’t get one in time for this visit. I’m not sure if PIL will agree to keeping a seat at theirs as they downsized and they’ve talked a lot about lack of space (no loft, small spare bedroom etc) but I will certainly ask.

I’ve texted to ask if they have friends who could lend us a car seat for the night but not heard back yet. I’m not sure how it’d work as PIL would have to drive quite out of their way to pick us up anyway so it probably wouldn’t work with timings for dinner.

Glad to hear I’m not horribly unreasonable for having concerns about it though and thanks for the ideas about spare seats etc.

OP posts:

MollyDaydream · 06/04/2018 18:51

20 months is still too little for a booster cushion/trunki, I think they need to be at least 4.
If your PIL won't compromise with storing seats and driving to pick you up then I would just say no to the restaurant.

Anotherdayanotherdollar · 06/04/2018 18:57

@bobbipin
I'm not arguing that's it's idiotic. As I said, it's not something that's acceptable to me either. I disagree that if kids are old enough not to (legally) need a seat then they're old enough to sit on a normal seat with a normal seat belt.

NurseryFightClub · 06/04/2018 19:51

On another note after being out all day and travelling with a 20 month old, a takeaway at home will be more relaxing...

Mumofkids · 06/04/2018 20:26

I would also de line the restaurant, my youngest is 26 months and I would not let her travel without a car seat but also she's hideous in restaurants (🤣) so after a day of traveling I would rather a trip to Claire's than a restaurant. If they don't have a car seat there for you to use, you don't go out in the car. Just have a rule. My in laws know my rules re:safety and respect them. They have a backless booster in their car which they use for their other granddaughter who's 7, they assumed they could put my 5 yr old on it. But he happens to be very small and light for his age, so they either use his car seat or don't take him!

Icklepickle101 · 06/04/2018 20:32

I have a 2.5 year old and wouldn’t travel without a car seat. He still rear faces at home as I take car seat safety very seriously after seeing what happens when you don’t. Lots of things about car seats are ‘legal’ but not safe.

Papplewapplewoo · 06/04/2018 22:45

what pray/ buggy do you have - a few of my friends had their Dcs in britax babysafe shr ii seats until far beyond 2-
Loads of them are up on gumtree/ eBay/ schpock and Facebook marketplace for between 10-30 quid.
that might work?
Good luck

MrsT4 · 06/04/2018 22:59

What car seat do you have? My little one didn't outgrown her infant carrier until almost 2 aswell.

It's recommended that they stay in infant carrier rear facing as long as possible, and ideally extended rear facing seat afterwards until minImum I'm of 4. It's 500% safer for a under 4yr old to be rear facing than forward. Just FYI when you are shopping around for your next stage car seat.

Ours rear faces until 25kg - most available car seats in uk stores go to 18kg, avoid Mothercare and Halfords if possible, use an independent retailer as they are notorious for wrong info.

Anyway. Place a hardback book along the top of the infant carrier, put baby in, if his head doesn't lift the book. He's not too big for it yet.

Hope that helps!

MrsT4 · 06/04/2018 23:00

So many typos! I'm sure you've got the gist.

TakeMe2Insanity · 06/04/2018 23:06

If you are going to do taxis regularly then I’d get the urban kanga. Its light, folds in a large bag but easy enough to carry around. Its been a life saver on random airport runs.

BertieBotts · 06/04/2018 23:11

20 months old likely to be too small for a booster yes for general use but in a pinch, a HBB would be better than nothing. Recently we had a 20mo visiting and she sat in DS's booster (not in the car, in the house!) and I was surprised by how she fitted in it. They're likely to be physically too small to fit on a backless booster, though, and there may be a risk of submarining because HBBs are designed for older children.

And YY sometimes a slight 20mo can still just about squeeze into an infant seat - it depends where they are on the scale, and the size of the seat. But some wouldn't. I know DS was out of his by 18 months by height, and XP tried to put him into one at some point around his second birthday, because he'd borrowed one from a friend and his head poked over the end and he looked totally ridiculous.

Best thing though - if I were you I would buy the Joie Elevate and leave it at their house if you can at all persuade them to keep it. You can use it with a harness until outgrown and after that as a high backed booster seat until the child no longer needs one at about 8 years old or older. It would eliminate any worries then and be convenient. You can usually find it on offer for £50-60ish. It's less bulky than a typical Group 1 seat too so even if you decided to keep it at your house it might still work.

Bobbiepin · 07/04/2018 00:01

@anotherdayanotherdollar glad we're on the same page. There needs to be a change in law though, surely.

BertieBotts · 07/04/2018 00:53

The taxi exemption exists due to practicality of enforcement. In a private car the responsibility to ensure under 12 yos are in car seats and under 14s wear a seatbelt lies with the driver, not the parents. When the driver is the parent or is known personally to the parent this is likely to be a conversation you can have. Conversely when the driver is a taxi driver being paid to perform a service by the parent, you will get annoying people refusing, lying, etc and a taxi driver can't realistically be expected to know how to fit every kind of car seat just in case somebody turns up with one.

Flip

1 2 3