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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to use a car seat

68 replies

EeyoresEars · 06/04/2018 16:10

Visiting PIL soon, we are travelling by train and not taking a car seat as it’s too bulky (DC outgrown the one that fixes onto a buggy).

We’d arranged to meet friends near to the station we arrive at and spend a few hours at a park/woodland area with them, then get a bus or walk to PIL house where we are staying. PIL suggested getting a takeaway meal that night which we were all happy with.

PIL have now said they want us to join them at a restaurant which we could only get to by car. They suggested we get a taxi there. I phoned the two local taxi firms (only two operate as it’s a small place) and neither have car seats available.

PIL have pointed out that legally we can take DC in a taxi without a car seat. However I’m really not comfortable with this. To me it doesn’t matter whether it’s against the law, what matters is that car seats are proven to be the safest way for a child to travel by car. I don’t want to travel in a taxi without a car seat even if it’s legally allowed.

There’s no way we can take a car seat with us as firstly it’s massive and hard to carry and secondly we would have nowhere to leave it while spending the day with our friends.

So, AIBU to refuse to take DC in a taxi without a car seat, even if it wouldn’t be breaking the law?

OP posts:
oblada · 06/04/2018 17:07

It's completely up to you!
Buses are dangerous too as there are no car seats :)
When I'm in India (family there) we don't have car seats as... Well they dont have car seats and it really wouldnt be possible for us to bring and use 3 car seats etc so we adjust. yes not ideal but im comfortable with that. id also be comfortable with short taxi journeys without car seats. but thats me. you have to do what feels right to you.

MollyDaydream · 06/04/2018 17:10

moofolk - you'd be likely to kill your baby in a crash doing that.

SecretBum · 06/04/2018 17:15

Personally I think yabu to refuse to go somewhere in this way - either take a car seat, buy one for delivery there or suck it up and go without.

Cutesbabasmummy · 06/04/2018 17:16

I dint see how buying a car seat for the PIL s house will help when the op has to meet them at the restaurant?

SecretBum · 06/04/2018 17:17

Agree with Molly - if you must hold a child on your lap, the advice is to belt yourself in and hold your child firmly...never to belt your child in on top of you.

Thistlebelle · 06/04/2018 17:21

Cute I imagine that part of the plan could be changed to suit. Although the OP says “join them” at the restaurant, that doesn’t necessarily mean meet them there.

ForgivenessIsDivine · 06/04/2018 17:26

Any chance you are near a Tesco Extra, Halfords or similar? You could send someone out to buy one....

Wintertime4 · 06/04/2018 17:30

I’ve bought two extra car seats for different family. I’ve also got a seat belt adjustor for taxis but obviously that’s not as safe.

diddl · 06/04/2018 17:30

So you won't have a car but on the first night ILs want you to join them at a place you'd need a car to get to?

Are there are plans to go anywhere else that would need a car?

If not, just decline the restaurant invitation.

NurseryFightClub · 06/04/2018 17:38

Go to toys r us and pick up a cheap one. I've had a car seat in parents car since birth, the £30wouldve been worth if for even one journey.

Bobbiepin · 06/04/2018 17:43

Why are people actually discussing the best way to hold a child in a moving car? are you all idiots? If the kid doesn't need a car seat by law, then it's big enough to sit in its own seat with a seat belt. Any other scenario is not ok. You don't out babies on your lap in a moving car. Ever.

Waffles80 · 06/04/2018 17:47

Staggering, isn’t it, @Bobbiepin.

Their next line will be “well out parents did it with us and it never did us any harm”.

BertrandRussell · 06/04/2018 17:50

Given that people will take babies in cars without car seats then it is important to make sure they know that putting them on your lap wirh the seat belt over both of you is an order of magnitude more dangerous than the belt round you only and the baby on your lap. Neither is acceptable- but the first is disastrous.

Butteredparsn1ps · 06/04/2018 17:50

A car seat, especially one that can be adapted as your DC/s grow kept at PIL would be the ideal solution.

We have a trunki back pack that converts to a car seat for similar situations. It has come in pretty handy, but I’m not sure how old the child needs to be to use it.

Bumdishcloths · 06/04/2018 17:51

My son is 6 months and I wouldn't entertain travel in a taxi without a car seat.

GummyGoddess · 06/04/2018 17:52

It being the law is irrelevant, no taxi driver or firm around here will take a child without a car seat. It is their responsibility to keep their passengers and themselves safe, they are able to refuse. Of all the drivers I know, I don't think any of them would agree.

Anotherdayanotherdollar · 06/04/2018 17:55

Bobbiepin children in taxis don't legally need a car seat so that argument doesn't stand. A 2 day old/6 month old/ 1 yr old won't be able to sit in a seat with a seatbelt but they can still legally travel whether you like it or not.

Anotherdayanotherdollar · 06/04/2018 17:56

And it certainly wouldn't be acceptable to me personally, but the powers that be have decided otherwise.

RoughPatchMum · 06/04/2018 17:58

I’ve taken DS in a taxi without a car seat once. It was an unplanned journey and there really wasn’t a feasible way of doing it otherwise. The taxi company didn’t have seats. I did belt him in on my lap - did not know that was more dangerous Blush

I wouldn’t do it if there was a way to plan around it. Buying a cheap seat for delivery to your parents makes sense.

TheBrilloPad · 06/04/2018 18:02

I wouldn't do a taxi journey without a car seat either for any child under 4 tbh, even though it's legal. Their bones and spine aren't developed enough to withstand any impact.

It's not comparable with travelling on a train without a car seat. There are far far more accidents travelling on a road than there are by train. I'm fairly sure it's 0 fatalities in recent years on train compared to hundreds (thousands?) on roads.

I would just keep saying "no, just because it's legal doesn't mean it's safe, we won't do that".

Mumhomealone · 06/04/2018 18:03

I went in a black cab with ds in a pushchair facing backwards and brakes on in the position a wheelchair would go in. Not ideal and it was only a short journey through slow traffic. If the local firm has a car suitable for wheelchairs you could do this.

Bobbiepin · 06/04/2018 18:04

@bertrandrussel Neither is acceptable- but the first isdisastrous.

You should have stopped after "neither is acceptable". If you're in a serious enough crash that the impact of an adult behind a baby is causing disasterous issues then are you really going to be able to hold on to the baby who isn't restrained by a belt?

Nothing personal, I'm honestly shocked that people still travel in cars holding babies.

coffeeforone · 06/04/2018 18:06

I would be comfortable with DC on my lap in a taxi for a short journey. Just think like you’re on a bus or train.

If it’s going to be a regular thing then I’d get a car seat for PILs. I have a spare at my parents for when we get the train there.

Like another poster, we regularly visit family in India and they just don’t do car seats there (they often don’t have seatbelts either so even if we did take one there is no way to secure it in car), so we have no option but to go without.

Bobbiepin · 06/04/2018 18:07

@anotherdayanotherdollar just because it's not illegal doesn't mean it's not idiotic.

BertrandRussell · 06/04/2018 18:10

A very minor bump could cause serious injuries in a baby sharing a seatbelt.