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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH forgetting plans

71 replies

Raven88 · 06/04/2018 08:16

First off I like to plan when I can get things done. I have issues with my back and shoulder. so I need my DH to help me. My DH has had the same day off for the past year and at the start of the week we discussed getting the shopping done and picking up other things.

Last night at 10pm he told me he was working today and couldn't pick me up after work meaning the big shop will have to wait till next Friday. Instead of arguing I just went to bed and ignored him and this continued until he took me to work. My other option is doing this myself and carrying it home. Which means I'll need to take my strong painkillers and I'll be sleepy the day after which I hate. I'm sore already and I want to cry in frustration.

I'm I BU to be upset about this. I feel like work comes first every time and he just thinks that our plans don't matter. I count on this one day off and it never changes. I am already feeling shit because of my time of the month.

OP posts:
MyBoysAndI · 06/04/2018 08:18

Ignoring him is pretty pathetic.

Do you not have a supermarket that delivers?

Sirzy · 06/04/2018 08:19

Can you not do an internet shop?

LoniceraJaponica · 06/04/2018 08:19

Online shopping is your friend.

user1483387154 · 06/04/2018 08:20

Ignoring him won't help. You need to talk to him about it

orangesmartieseggs · 06/04/2018 08:21

Online shop?

Original poster
Raven88 · 06/04/2018 08:21

@MyBoysAndI I just didn't want to argue with him, and I didn't sleep the night before so I was so exhausted.

OP posts:
IMissGin · 06/04/2018 08:21

You definitely need to talk to him about general communication etc. Also, just order the shopping online and get it delivered to your kitchen.

19lottie82 · 06/04/2018 08:21

Instead of arguing I just went to bed and ignored him and this continued until he
took me to work

If he did this to you MN would be screaming that he was an emotional abuser.

If my DH ignores me like a 5 year old I wouldn’t be taking him anywhere.

As suggested, get an online shop.

AnarchyKitty · 06/04/2018 08:23

Online shop or taxi.
It's how I managed when single and having had back surgery.

LifeBeginsAtGin · 06/04/2018 08:26

Internet shopping.

You don't NEED to go to the supermarket, then lug it all home and put away. Get them to do it for you.

I just leave out he heavy stuff till DH gets home to put away.

Butterymuffin · 06/04/2018 08:28

Set up an online shop - I know it's nice to go yourself but I've come round to this now as it really helps in periods of poor health. And don't buy him his favourite stuff. He should have at least told you before.

Shoxfordian · 06/04/2018 08:36

Just order it online and don't be a martyr about it all

ineedaholidaynow · 06/04/2018 08:39

Why is this one day so important to have as a day off? Surely you don't have the same day off each year just to do a food shop?

Could DH do food shop on the way home from work? Or as others said, shop online.

I understand it's annoying when DH changes plans without telling you, though

Original poster
Raven88 · 06/04/2018 08:42

@ineedaholidaynow it's his only day off all week and he isn't off until next Friday the issue isn't the day, it's telling me at 10pm the night before.

OP posts:
ShatnersWig · 06/04/2018 08:43

What lottie said

tinytemper66 · 06/04/2018 08:44

As other posters have said do an online shop!

GertrudeBelle · 06/04/2018 08:46

Good selective hearing OP Hmm

Your DP’s only day off, and he gets you planning it out for him and then sulking if you don’t obey. Poor bugger.

Crispbutty · 06/04/2018 08:47

Get a taxi, order online, ask a friend to pick you up. He’s going to work, not out on a jolly. Can’t be his idea of fun spending his day off doing the shopping either.

There are plenty of options so YABU.

LucyAutumn · 06/04/2018 08:48

OP why are you ignoring everyone's suggestion to try an online shop? Is this an option or not?

Haberpop · 06/04/2018 08:48

All seems a bit of a storm in a teacup to me, I have a brain like a sieve and can easily see how your husband didn't put two and two together at the beginning of the week when you were discussing plans. I think you are overreacting, is there a background story to this?

LadyFuchsiaGroan · 06/04/2018 08:49

So you ignored him and he still took you to work? If my dp ignored would I fuck still ferry him about.

Yeah I would be annoyed at someone changing plans but surely you cold manage something else? Online shopping, public transport, taxi?

Sirzy · 06/04/2018 08:49

If he is working 6 days a week anyway then if there is an alternative (online etc) then it seems wrong to expect him to play your shopping taxi anyway. Do you have more time off work?

I understand you need help but expecting to be able to plan all his free time around that isn’t fair and is likely to lead to resentment

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 06/04/2018 08:50

Internet shop?

Bumblefuddle · 06/04/2018 08:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pinotnoirismyjam · 06/04/2018 08:52

As previous posters have said, just do the shop and get a taxi back (paid for from the joint account). Then you don't have to carry it all the way home.

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