DH forgetting plans

[Raven88]

First off I like to plan when I can get things done. I have issues with my back and shoulder. so I need my DH to help me. My DH has had the same day off for the past year and at the start of the week we discussed getting the shopping done and picking up other things.

Last night at 10pm he told me he was working today and couldn't pick me up after work meaning the big shop will have to wait till next Friday. Instead of arguing I just went to bed and ignored him and this continued until he took me to work. My other option is doing this myself and carrying it home. Which means I'll need to take my strong painkillers and I'll be sleepy the day after which I hate. I'm sore already and I want to cry in frustration.

I'm I BU to be upset about this. I feel like work comes first every time and he just thinks that our plans don't matter. I count on this one day off and it never changes. I am already feeling shit because of my time of the month.

Online shopping.
Some do next day free e.g. Waitrose get the essential range and offers.
No one needs to do big shops any more.
Get a delivery pass for your favourite supermarket

I can do an online shop but because he didn't tell me we are out of everything. The Asda/Tesco where I live doesn't have a good selection so online shop is usually full of substitutes because of my food allergies that aren't common. It's a bit hit and miss

That's a pity online shopping does.not work for you. I can't carry alot of bags now so get my shopping delivered every week and very rarely have a problem. Occasionally have to go to the shop for one thing they didn't have in stock. I choose no substitutions for many things as my ds has allergies.

He only gets one day off a week? That sucks.

I think if you order with Sainsbury's before 12 they can deliver the same day. They have a decent free from range too.

@GertrudeBelle @Sirzy

He isn't my shopping taxi and he should help with the shop, I need to know what he wants for the his food because he's a meat eater and I'm a vegetarian. We do the shop together because I want him to have food he enjoys. He is really fussy but never shops for himself. We have a joint account I've been asking him for 4 years to buy himself food but he never does.

You can do an online shop together, that way he gets things he likes. I don't see the problem. If I only had one day off a week I'd not want to spend it trawling around a supermarket.

I can solve your problem. Buy the free from food you need for yourself today for the weekend. Order enough for you and dc for the week. Order a selection your dh usually enjoys too. If he wants to have food he enjoys he can plan to be around for the food shop or make his own trip.

That way you only carry the free from stuff, the supermarket will deliver everything else tomorrow.

I want him to have food he enjoys. He is really fussy but never shops for himself.

There's part of your problem right there.

He isn't bothered about you having food you enjoy / aren't allergic to.

With the extra information he can just eat vegetarian for the week. A few weeks of that and he would pay more attention. I would try and work out what is safe to online shop for though so you don’t need to get to the shop too often as if he only gets one day off it is a bit rough to spend it at the supermarket. The not contributing at all bit is the bigger issue.

@Booboobooboo84 that is a good idea. I like to have everything done in one go but might have re think my planning to suit his changing hours.

Menu plan for the week together.
Do the online order together.
Each have a diary and go through them to synchronise plans.
Do all this at the same time each week.
There was no such thing as online shopping when my dc were tiny. It would have made my life so much easier especially for all the heavy non perishables. I dont know why everyone doesnt do it for those.

I have a small shopping trolley for the odd small shop. I have a condition that means I cant lift or carry but I can pull the trolly with my stronger arm.

I know ignoring isn't mature but I just hate arguing and it's not the first time he forgotten things and picked up an extra shift.
I will try doing online but I'm allergic to Chilli and it's hidden in so many foods.

@Butterymuffin he does but he isn't as health conscious and on the odd occasion he gets something for tea, I can't eat it or it's full of fat/sugar.

I second him going vege for the week tbf but anything for a quiet life.

You could always set up an order to arrive on a Thursday evening then do a top up shop over the weekend of anything that didn’t arrive. So if you turn off substitutions you can pick up anything that’s missing on the Friday.

He wouldn't eat my diet. He would sneak to Mcds every day he like greasy meaty food. I wish he would try vege.

1st world problems!

Then if he sneaks to MacDonald's every day, it's his choice. When he tires of that, he can make time to help with the shop.
I don't think he's been considerate in this instance but also you have to let him make his own food choices.

Presumably there's a reason why he has to work this extra day when he hasn't had to for a year? Did you ask him about that?

"Today 09:48 GnotherGnu

Presumably there's a reason why he has to work this extra day when he hasn't had to for a year? Did you ask him about that?"

Yes to this. Also does the bulk of the financial responsibility rest on him?

You can see the complete ingredients list when you do an online shop, so allergies shouldn't be any more issue than if you were in the supermarket. If you order today it should be here tomorrow - which is certainly better than waiting until next Friday.

To be honest though OP it sounds like what you really want is to be cross at your DH and to seek validation for that, rather than actually sorting the practical problem.

Surely you have a vague idea of what he eats every week? The online shop usually doesn't come from a local store either, it comes from a designated store that is usually bigger. If the local store doesn't have things often going there doesn't seem like it will make a difference. Do a sainsburys shop and use this code to get £18 off, cheaper shop and food delivered to your door. Take an educated guess as to what he wants to eat or buy the essentials and go to the butcher tomorrow to pick up meat he wants. Make your life simple and don't fall out over stupid things. This doesn't have to be a drama.

In fact, switch to online shopping full stop and he can have his one day a week off.

SCSSEOMAR - £18 off at sainsburys for new customers