Unlucky towel drop or something more sinister?

[BringBiscuits]

My dd and her friend went swimming today (10 and 11). They came home laughing about the ‘poor old man’ who was in the changing rooms and ‘accidentally’ dropped his towel. They were in the showers and the changing cubicles are accessed from the shower area. (Male and female mixed). According to them he didn’t rush to pick up the towel and they saw ‘everything’. Most worrying is that he had winked at my daughter before this happened.
Thankfully they think the whole incident is hilarious and are completely believe it was put bad luck for the poor old man to drop his towel. AIBU to think this guy is a dirty old pervert who has deliberately flashed at two pre teen girls?

Call the police.

I also really wish people would stop using terms like "perv' and 'dirty old man' like its justifiable. The term should always be PEDOPHILE..... The person has a sexual interest in children and is a risk.

I think you were right to report it.

Did this thread make anyone think of the thread where the MN’er forgot to wear her bikini bottoms at the pool. I think her husband shouted out ‘minge’ or something weird like that. I don’t know if it was a troll thread or not.

OneStepSideways We don't even know how old or elderly this man was anyway. As a PP said, to a child 'old' might mean anyone over 35.

The pool I swim at has unisex changing, communal showers but also cubicle showers. Generally people using the cubicle showers will go to the locker area with just towels around them.

The staff asked me to get the girls to give me a description of what he looked like Not a joking matter, of course, but I can imagine my kids providing a very detailed description, in the circumstances!!

Agree with all of the above: this was not accidental, and I would be having a chat to the girls, just reminding them to stay together and let staff at the pool know if there is anything, or anyone who concerns them.

But I really don't like these mixed changing setups, shared showers, having to carry my stuff and my DC's stuff awkwardly from a locker to a tiny cubicle after a swim, amongst a ton of men in togs dripping away

Me neither. I will not use unisex change villages. They are too dangerous. There have been numerous instances of filming (by men of women), flashing and assaults. I will only use areas segregated by sex. If that means I don't work out or swim (although I am lucky where I am now) then so be it (I suppose).

No way was the towel drop accidental. If it had been he would have looked mortified, snatched the tow up and probably apologised. You did exactly the right thing in reporting it.

Have you spoken to the pool again today? I wouldn’t be surprised if the man goes regularly at the time the unaccompanied kids are getting changed. I think you should also get police involved so they can try and find him.

The filming worries me too. There is a gap at the bottom and the top of the cubicles at our pool. Would be easy to angle a phone under one side and record the neighbouring cubicles.

and post it on the internet..

When I say unaccompanied kids I mean the holiday club children who presumably change the same way as you DD’s daily.

I’m not concerned about me. But I wouldn’t send 10/11 year old girls swimming alone with unisex changing rooms as I can’t be there to protect them.

My sis and I used to go swimming alone at that age, but the changing room was simply women.

Btw everyone should be aware that there are voyeur forums online where men post their footage, some of which is taken sticking hidden cameras in changing rooms in unisex areas in pools, shops, gyms etc.

Can I suggest that everyone is cautious about giving any suggestions about how filming could be done as we don’t know who else is reading?

We don't, but there is so much info online already it hardly matters.

Quite.

I used to work in a swimming pool as a manager and there was on older guy who would do this all the time. He would drop his towel, change with cubicle doors open, splash kids etc.
Numerous parents complained so I called the police (I knew his name as he had a loyalty card).
The police told me that I had to tell parents to report directly to them; they could not act on third party reports from me.
All we could do as a facility was suspend or ban him.
I'd report to the police.

I don't believe for 1 second that a man, who happened to have no trunks on, accidentally dropped his towel in front of 2 girls and I'm willing to put money on that not happening if those girls had been accompanied by a 20 stone father!

Same here - and even if it was an accident (it wasn't!0, he would have quickly covered his genitals with his hands (a bad back doesn't stop you doing that!)

If he was genuine, he would have been mortified and would have used his hand to cover his bits and pieces immediately, regardless of how long it too to retrieve his towel. He would have turned his back on the girls in his embarrassment and out of concern for their age and sensitivities, and bent down discretely.
If he was about to or had just had a shower, how on earth could he do this in a communal shower area, with just a towel? Would he shower with this towel on?
Even if there are no CCTV cameras in the communal areas, there may be one in the reception area and he could be identified from footage if you discuss this with the manager.
Deliberate, definitely.

Unisex changing area: If a man decides to say "I'm Self-ID as a woman" then technically he IS a woman (soon to be enshrined in law, are people not aware of this impending legislation?!). No staff member will say she is flashing for dropping her towel. It's women and girls together.

It's not whether it's Unisex or not - it's that Self-ID can change with women and girls anyway.

This is why some of us are vehemently Self-ID - not anti-Trans, it's 2 separate things. Transwomen have been around for years.
.Self-ID = simply stating "I am a woman" and that's that. No gender reassignment counselling or surgery. Penis remains intact.

Self-ID in changing rooms next to you, your daughters, is a distinct possibility - it is after all what is being asked for ie entrance into women's spaces - so no-ones going to get away with saying "I'm uncomfortable about this". Self-ID = no gender assignment surgery, counselling etc, at all.

Now if Self-ID drops towel of course you can wonder if it was done on purpose. However - you can't say it aloud, certainly not publicly from the angle that, this is a man/flashed penis. It's not. Even with a penis, Self-ID = woman.

At least we are interested in the rights of women and children, some of whom may be vulnerable, in the event of certain situations.

If any of your DDs are Girl Guides, please have a look at current policy which is un-nerving senior staff there. There's also a news article about it, ad one of the staff has now spoken out.

Suffice to say, if your young teen DD is going on a GG residential, Self-IDs will sleep in same room as the girls. There is also specific, written guidance that parents are not to be told about this

I'd rather be thought of as a "ranter", than not be aware of what's going on in these times. I'm neither anti-Trans not particularly anti Self-ID. I simply want 3rd spaces created for Self-ID as the potential for predators entering spaces, or misunderstanding of situations and intention, or of women feeling un-nerved, is too great.

There are Transwomen with the same concerns about Self-ID but they're also being shouted down. That's all.

I actually prefer the unisex set up, because our own has individual lockable showers. I would never have stripped off in the communal shower, because it was possible for men to wander in by mistake (or whatever). The shower has a space at the end to get dried and dressed so no need to wander off to another cubicle naked under a towel.
I don't think you're ever going to eliminate the risk of voyeurs and perverts in a public swimming pool, tbh, no matter how carefully designed and well staffed they are.

I actually prefer the unisex set up, because our own has individual lockable showers. I would never have stripped off in the communal shower, because it was possible for men to wander in by mistake (or whatever). The shower has a space at the end to get dried and dressed so no need to wander off to another cubicle naked under a towel

Single sex with lockable showers is the way to go.

Self-ID is a no-brainer bad idea.

I don't think you're ever going to eliminate the risk of voyeurs and perverts in a public swimming pool, tbh, no matter how carefully designed and well staffed they are.

Of course not, but it’s significantly easier in unisex changing rooms.

The public swimming pools my sister and I went to as kids - I never saw a man in there ever. Not even with children.

The actual pool areas are policed by life guards so it’s harder to get away with misbehaviour.

Repeated "accidental" towel drops are going to be pretty difficult for him to explain away

Only if the drops are identified as being the same person each time. Kids' poor description and/or fuzzy CCTV would mean nothing being done.

This is why some of us are vehemently Self-ID - not anti-Trans, it's 2 separate things. Transwomen have been around for years.
.Self-ID = simply stating "I am a woman" and that's that. No gender reassignment counselling or surgery. Penis remains intact.

Agree with MistressCeeDee.

We will need changing rooms with "Penis"/"No-Penis" designations (I'm looking forward to seeing the little stick figures . . . ).

I really don't think many people object to individuals who are "trans", but self-identification as woman/man is open to all sorts of abuses. (Of course, in a unisex changing area it's moot anyway.)

Women need willie-free zones and I am sure that man,. if not most, men would prefer sex-specific privacy when changing, trying on clothes etc.