Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

To say No (DP put petrol instead of diesel in car)

107 replies

NotAHousewifeFromCheshire · 05/04/2018 22:36

DP has just phoned from Gatwick where he is picking up 1 of his DC . His DD (18) is with him.
He has broken down which has now transpired he has put petrol in the car instead of diesel.
He is obviously off the scale pissed off & suggested I should come to collect them (via Uber) so they don’t have to wait.
The journey is 45 minutes each way.

I don’t have the money to spend.

AIBU to say no ?

OP posts:

WowLookAtYou · 06/04/2018 09:07

I'm often bailing dh and my dcs out of scrapes, and happy(ish) to do so. But I'd draw the line at this one.

Shinycat · 06/04/2018 09:13

@Oblomov18

If my DH needed me, even for a simple mistake, I'd drive 500 miles if needed.

Saddened that all those that think you shouldn't, means you are some sort of wet blanket.

Yeah, most of us would help our partner if they NEEDED us, but the OP's partner didn't NEED her, he just expected the OP to drop everything she was doing to run after him, when he could have just got a cab.

I would say if it was MY DH I would tell him to grow the fuck up, but then I would not be with such a whiny, needy, specimen who can't get himself home, without me having to go to where he is, and accompany him back!

AnnieAnoniMouser · 06/04/2018 09:13

Oblomov she would have had to get an UBER 45 minutes to the airport, to collect an 18 yo & their sibling and UBER home again. Why?. The 18yo is perfectly able to get an UBER with their sibling (older or younger).

Original poster

NotAHousewifeFromCheshire · 06/04/2018 09:23

We are currently waiting for someone to come & drain the petrol .

I spent 45 minutes phoning breakdown companies & sending him numbers so we could resolve the problem as quickly as possible.
I would never have left them stranded while I sat with my wine. If I’d had a car I would have gone to pick the DC up but I don’t.
His first thoughts were for his DC but thankfully the breakdown guy was only 10 minutes away.
He’s very annoyed with himself

OP posts:

Schlimbesserung · 06/04/2018 09:32

I don’t have the money to spend
Surely this part is key? If you can't then you can't.
Glad they got home safely.

Oblomov18 · 06/04/2018 09:34

I know, I know. I get that. I get that the op taking an uber, when the repair van hadn't even turned up, or taking trains to get there, was pointless.

Bit different if you've got 2 cars, and helping involves jumping into your car and driving to help.

But it was the principal. If my Dh needed me (rarely happens) I drop everything and rush to him, without a second thought.

That was the bit I was commenting on.

witchofzog · 06/04/2018 09:34

I don't understand all this babying 18 year olds. As someone else said if his 18 year old adult dd can travel by plane, she can certainly travel by uber.

AnnieAnoniMouser · 06/04/2018 09:35

I hope it hasn’t done too much damage & a drain & refuel is all that’s needed 🤞

Why was he being so wet about ‘the kids’? The kids, who are not babies/toddlers, one at least is actually legally an adult & the second one (no idea of their age, but flown alone, so at least 5, but more likely a young teen) has only flown for 6 hours, which is a short flight, but even if they’d flown in from Australia, what’s the big deal waiting for the car to be fixed (or as we now know, towed)? Waiting in the car isn't exactly traumatic?

ErrolTheDragon · 06/04/2018 09:35

I spent 45 minutes phoning breakdown companies & sending him numbers so we could resolve the problem as quickly as possible.

Much more useful than pissing away time and money in a cab.

Ivebeenaroundtheblock · 06/04/2018 09:38

The two nozzles are angled differently. And different diameters.

AnnieAnoniMouser · 06/04/2018 09:43

Oblomov

But it was the principal. If my Dh needed me (rarely happens) I drop everything and rush to him, without a second thought. That was the bit I was commenting on

But she did everything she could to help him by calling loads of people to try to find someone to go and fix the problem.

You agree her going there was pointless.

So what more would you have done in her situation?

No one is saying they wouldn’t go if their DH needed them, simply that you don’t have to do something utterly pointless just because your DH asks you to, when it make NO sense to do it.

I’ve flown to NZ (from the UK) because I was needed, I wouldn’t do so simply because DH couldn’t organise a tow truck or two teenagers to get an Uber.

MrPan · 06/04/2018 09:45

it depends. Are you the sort of person that would help out their partner when they are in need? Or are you the sort of person to post a whiny thread about it on Mumsnet?

The perfect response in the circs.

OP, either help, or don't. Stop whinning about it.

AnnieAnoniMouser · 06/04/2018 09:46

witchifzog. It was a bit confusing, but there were two ‘kids’, the 18yo who went with her Dad in the car & the DC they were collectingbfrom the airport. Same still applies though, perfectly old enough to get an Uber home if waiting in the car was too much for them. Personally, they’d have been waiting in the car, they’re not babies or toddlers that don’t understand the need to wait & they weren’t having to stand outside in a blizzard, just wait in the car...

LagunaBubbles · 06/04/2018 09:49

And who puts the wrong fuel in their own car???

You would be surprised, its very common if stupid. My DH did this and it cost about £200 I think to clean out the engine.

Butterymuffin · 06/04/2018 09:51

I've done when I've been under extreme stress. Anyone can make mistakes!

ErrolTheDragon · 06/04/2018 09:55

OP, either help, or don't. Stop whinning about it.

She didn't sound in the least 'whiny' to me - just sanity checking whether she was BU or not.

GnotherGnu · 06/04/2018 09:57

But it was the principal. If my Dh needed me (rarely happens) I drop everything and rush to him, without a second thought.

Would you do really do that even if rushing to him wouldn't help one iota, whilst staying put and sorting out breakdown recovery actually would, Oblomov?

BarbaraofSevillle · 06/04/2018 09:57

And who puts the wrong fuel in their own car

People who drive lots of different cars? My car is petrol, DPs is diesel. Until recently I also regularly drove the work pool car, also diesel or hire cars, which were either.

Thankfully, with my own car being petrol, it is difficult or impossible to insert a diesel nozzle into it, so I shouldn't make this mistake with my own car.

But at work someone puts petrol in the diesel pool car at least once a year. We used to have a funny device inserted into the filler nozzle that stopped people doing it, but I don't know how it worked and we don't seem to use it any more.

Weirdly, it is worse for the car to put petrol in a diesel car, than it is to put diesel in a petrol car, so I don't know why the pumps and filler pipes are set up to prevent the opposite. If they made the diesel holes smaller and the petrol nozzles bigger, this would prevent the 'worse' mistake from being made.

MsHomeSlice · 06/04/2018 10:00

we have one of those bank accounts with Nationwide....with rescue covering me and dh for any car we are driving, plus excellent travel insurance, phone insurance, we are quids in!!

and we have picked up grown up children from the airport...it's nice to be nice! I'd have done the same as OP if it had been dh though, no point another person being inconvenienced.

tempester28 · 06/04/2018 10:31

Recently I put £10 worth of petrol in my diesel car (I been driving a petrol hire car for the previous two weeks!) I realised the next morning when it didn't want to start. I got it started and drove to the garage very slowly with it jumping all over the place and put £20 worth of diesel. It was fine it had the odd splutter until the tank was empty. So if he has put a small amount into the tank he could try and mix it. If you put diesel into a Petrol engine then that is a different matter!

BitOutOfPractice · 06/04/2018 10:35

*He is very annoyed with himself
*
I think that's they key isn't it? He was pissed off that he'd made a mistake (which we've all done) and panicked / lashed out a bit. Again, something a lot of people do when they're angry with themselves.

Glad it got sorted op.

As for who puts the wrong fuel in, plenty. Enough for the rac etc to have specialist vehicles to put it right

ErrolTheDragon · 06/04/2018 10:39

I'm sure I've read that in very cold countries, people deliberately add a small proportion of petrol to the diesel. May depend on the age of the engine I suppose.

My DH once put petrol in his diesel (he was very stressed at the time) - it happens even to people you wouldn't expect to make this mistake.

Lacucuracha · 06/04/2018 10:45

But it was the principal. If my Dh needed me (rarely happens) I drop everything and rush to him, without a second thought.

It depends on the situation. My DP ran out of petrol on a London dual carriageway where cars drive very fast and very frequently. I had to drive in the pissing rain to get diesel in a jerry can to him, cross the dual carriageway in the pissing rain, at risk of being mown down. I was very pissed off that he didn't call the AA but I still did it because I know he would do the same for me.

However, no way would I have done what OP's DP asked. Because it makes no rational sense. And to give in to a partner's unreasonable demands is not love, it's stupidity.

CuboidalSlipshoddy · 06/04/2018 10:58

I'm sure I've read that in very cold countries, people deliberately add a small proportion of petrol to the diesel.

Shouldn't generally be necessary now, as diesel is formulated differently depending on the season and the climate. But if you, say, leave your car in the garage all autumn and want to run it in the winter, then a litre or two of petrol in the diesel tank might be a good idea.

witchofzog · 06/04/2018 11:46

Very true annie

Flip

1 2 3 4 5