To say No (DP put petrol instead of diesel in car)

[NotAHousewifeFromCheshire]

DP has just phoned from Gatwick where he is picking up 1 of his DC . His DD (18) is with him.
He has broken down which has now transpired he has put petrol in the car instead of diesel.
He is obviously off the scale pissed off & suggested I should come to collect them (via Uber) so they don’t have to wait.
The journey is 45 minutes each way.

I don’t have the money to spend.

AIBU to say no ?

@mentallyDividing you are totally right!

You know a problem shared is a problem halved! I hope his equally supportive when OP needs it!

It depends. Are you the sort of person that would help out their partner when they are in need? Or are you the sort of person to post a whiny thread about it on Mumsnet?

Oh look, someone had twat for dinner.

The only unreasonable one is DP!

A) for putting petrol in a diesel car b) for being too tight to have breakdown cover c) for thinking an 18 year old who has just travelled six hours on a flight without him, needs a chaperone in a cab. D) for expecting you to find the cash to do the round trip.

Enjoy your wine and cheese on toast OP 🍷

well i'm grateful that where i live gasoline and diesel fuel nozzles don't fit into the fuel tank of the wrong type...

Queen - you can be supportive of your partner without doing every thing they ask, no matter how practical.

In this case OP was being asked to pay for a taxi to accompany an 18 year old and younger siblings home. They're now coming back in the tow truck anyway, so had OP gone that would be two lots of wasted Uber fares which she can't afford, and no actual practical support providef to anyone.

Sometimes a DP may ask you to do something unreasonable - you shouldn't feel you have to for fear of being painted as "unsupportive".

Yeah I agree with @mentallyDividing here.

Okay he was an idiot but we've all made mistakes. When I hit a pothole last week and needed help getting home, I'm glad DP didn't just tell me to sort it out myself while he sat at home with a glass of wine!

Isn't being in a relationship about helping each other out and being nice? It's hardly like he fucked up on purpose!

Some of these responses. He's a grown man capable of phoning an uber to send his 18 year old home and any other siblings and then phoning for breakdown.

Of course he's capable.

But it's nice to help out your partner when they fuck up or make a mistake and need some help.

I wouldn't have driven to collect an 18 year old but I would have offered to call around and get help - considering I was the one warm at home with no worry about signal or phone battery.

That's the nice thing to do isn't it? I mean, that's how I hope DP would act if I messed up and asked him for help.

It depends. Are you the sort of person that would help out their partner when they are in need? Or are you the sort of person to post a whiny thread about it on Mumsnet?

But how would this "help out" the partner? If anything, it's a hell of a lot more unhelpful than just putting his DD into a taxi, because he'd have to wait at least 45 minutes (and probably more) for OP to turn up.

I'm glad my DH didn't post how stupid I was on the internet when I did this after we switched to a diesel car. This mistake happens sooo often like every 5 minutes across the country or something.
Yes your DH is big enough to sort himself out but you are as much of a dick as him as getting a bunch of cackling strangers to be horrible about him on the internet.

if he's put petrol into a diesel car and driven it to the point it's broken down, then he could be looking at a very expensive repair, unless it was a very low level of contamination (< 10%). Petrol strips a diesel engine of it's lubricant and can cause the whole engine to seize up & destroy many components, it could cost £1000s.

BTW Ivebeenaroundtheblock, pump nozzles are different sizes in the UK, a diesel one won't fit into a petrol tank.

I've filled my car with the wrong fuel too and I'm definitely not a dickhead. Just an absent-minded and expensive mistake.

Expecting the OP to get a taxi out to take the 18 YO is madness. Glad you refused.

I assume that this 18 YO is normally quite capable of getting herself to school/university/work/nights out/anywhere else without a parent taking her?

Task for your DP for the weekend OP - sign up to either autoaid or GEM breakdown cover. Both cost a fraction of the big names and offer the same service. One of them might be pay and claim, but it's straightforward and we've never had any issues.

Also be aware that Autoaid only offer joint cover if you're married or in a civil partnership so if you're not married it would only cover one person, but I don't know how they check or if they demand to see a marriage certificate.

I see the dickheads are out in force today. Why the fuck does OP need to go to him to pick the kids up in an Uber, what a waste of money. And did you miss the part where OP said she'd been ringing recovery companies. Not going doesn't make her a shit unsupportive partner, him expecting her to get an Uber to bring them back is a dick move

well i'm grateful that where i live gasoline and diesel fuel nozzles don't fit into the fuel tank of the wrong type...

@Ivebeenaroundtheblock that's quite a trick you have there. I can see that (unleaded) fuel intake is made too narrow to take the wider diesel hose, but can't see how you prevent a diesel being wrongly fuelled with unleaded. Do tell.

Hang on, one of the DC is 18 and needs to be accompanied in an Uber? WTF? He was clearly panicking and being an idiot. Hope everyone is in a better mood this morning!

I put petrol in my diesel once, drove a few streets away (5minutes) and broke down.

RAC towed me to the garage, £180 to drain engine, plus £40 loss of petrol and then I had to refill with diesel. Was an expensive morning.

I remember arguing wit the RAC man that ' Clearly I didn't do that as I'm not stupid and know the difference between diesel and petrol! ' I cringe now. I'd only been driving 6 months and he had probably been doing his job for years.

So, this 18yo DC managed to get a flight to LGW on their own, but needed someone to accompany them from the airport in an Uber?

Recovery for this sort of thing usually comes with most bank accounts doesn’t it? Surely a years cover would cost the same if not less than a cab. Makes no sense. Glad they’re sorted I wouldn’t have gone either.

All these judgemental and sanctimonious posters querying how anyone can put the wrong fuel in?
I haven't done it. But plenty of people have. So it can't be that hard to figure out 'how'!

If my Dh needed me, even for a simple mistake, I'd drive 500 miles proclaimers if needed.
Saddened that all those that think you shouldn't, means you are some sort of wet blanket.

a problem shared is a problem halved

But in this case it wasn't, it was a problem doubled

Recovery for this sort of thing usually comes with most bank accounts doesn’t it?

Actually, it comes with a small and reducing number of bank accounts which are now much harder to get than they were, because the FSA (as it then was, now the FCA) held that they had been routinely mis-sold to people for whom they were a bad deal. The only "Added value" account Lloyds now offer, for example, is two hundred quid a year, so you need to be pretty bloody certain that the AA cover and the permanent travel cover are good value for you. It's now the "full fat" version with winter sports and family cover included, not optional, and similarly with all the trinkets on the AA membership too. If you were going to do both of those, it's probably just about worth it.

But Oblomov he didn't need her. He needed her to accompany his 18yo DD (who had just got off a flight by herself) home in an uber - totally pointless

Oblomov18

All DP needed was a hand-hold, which can easily be done over the phone. He messed up, freaked out because of having the kids with him and just needed to calm down a bit.

I'm sure OP would have gone if there was a real problem, like if he'd had an accident.