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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

is this rude from potential nanny?

95 replies

beclev24 · 05/04/2018 01:31

I put an ad on a job site for a part time nanny. I invited one woman to come for an i/v on Friday. She replied that she couldn't remember responding to my job ad and if I wanted her to come for an interview I would need to pay her. otherwise she would talk to me on the phone for free. I had never heard of this before, but maybe it's common??

Then we were going back and forth about the timing of the interview/ phonecall. in hte course of these texts she said she was working with antoehr family a couple of blocks away from me today. So I asked if she wanted to stop by our place after she finished for 15 mins to meet me/ the kids. She replied "

No. I do not want to come to your house for 15 mins. I have been working with a two year old since 8.30am. I have plans with my boyfriend tonight. I can talk on the phone briefly.

This felt a bit abrasive and rude for someone trying to get a job? I thought she could have just said- sorry I'm busy tonight, can we try for Friday or whatever. So I told her htat I didint' think . it would work out. Was I unreasonable ? i'm a good and generous employer generally but don't like bad 'attitude'. Was I unreasonable? Generally curious.

OP posts:

3boys3dogshelp · 05/04/2018 01:33

I don’t think she wants the job!! No YANBU - she sounds rude.

Shelvesoutofbooks · 05/04/2018 01:34

Very very rude and no, you should never pay for an interview, what the hell is that? But what you do need to pay for usually is a trial day. But that all comes after the actual interview.

Poppins2016 · 05/04/2018 01:34

You're definitely not being unreasonable. That attitude is appalling! The nanny sounds as though she doesn't even like children...

Deshasafraisy · 05/04/2018 01:35

I would have stopped all communication after she said she couldn’t remember responding.

Yarboosucks · 05/04/2018 01:36

Nope… Sounds like a lucky escape - walk away!

e1y1 · 05/04/2018 01:37

No YANBU, drop her and definitely don’t be considering her for a job.

What she has done/what her plans are are totally irrelevant and not your problem, she has applied for a job and if she wants to try and get the job, it is for her to present herself in the best possible light, like any interviewee would.

Saying to a potential employer that you forgot you applied for a job!! Who does that?

Definitely not someone you would want having access to your home or being responsible for your children.

AngelL7 · 05/04/2018 01:37

Omg, no do not give someone like a job. What a terrible attitude

villainousbroodmare · 05/04/2018 01:38

Whoa!
No. No no no no.

Tartyflette · 05/04/2018 01:38

You dodged a bullet there! She sounds as if she'd be really hard work, too.

MargaretCavendish · 05/04/2018 01:39

She replied that she couldn't remember responding to my job ad How was that not the end of your correspondence with her?! What a thing to admit to a potential employer!

villainousbroodmare · 05/04/2018 01:39

As in yes, extremely rude, no, not gonna be your nanny.

Rightmovestalker · 05/04/2018 01:39

YANBU - I wouldn't hire her

UndomesticHousewife · 05/04/2018 01:49

The woman is rude and is being a nightmare before you’ve even met why would you want to give this person a job

OlennasWimple · 05/04/2018 02:11

TBH at the point where she insisted that she needed to be paid to come for an interview I would have politely ended communications

I know it's difficult trying to find good part-time child care, but this nanny is not your answer

dinosaurkisses · 05/04/2018 02:12

Does she speak English as a second language OP?

I'd maybe give her a second chance if so- in my experience some people from central/ Eastern Europe can sound quite short over email or texts as they only state the facts (she's had a long day already and has plans tonight) but then when speaking to them over the phone or in person they are very friendly.

It would be the fact that she said she couldn't remember applying for the role that would trouble me- if she can't remember considering a role and then actively applying for it, will she be able to remember to bring my toddler home from soft play?

dinosaurkisses · 05/04/2018 02:15

But no, YANBU- if there's one kind of recruItment where I feel the employer has a right to be picky its when looking for someone to take sole responsibility for their children. You don't owe applicants anything simply for deigning to apply (and then forgetting all about it)

Thebirthdayparty · 05/04/2018 02:17

You mentioned she is currently working 'a couple of blocks away'. Are you in the US? FWIW I'm not sure why that matters and I think she was most definitely rude and I also think she doesn't want your job so you would just waste your own time chasing her up for an interview.

IamAporcupine · 05/04/2018 02:19

Does she speak English as a second language OP?

I was going to ask the same. I agree with PP, Spanish/Italian speakers also come across a bit rude when they state facts.

katzensocken · 05/04/2018 02:22

Agreeing that the text part sounds like a language barrier thing, like she's trying to respond clearly to your question by mentioning the 15 minutes. It does sound short though! The payment suggestion is rude.

sockunicorn · 05/04/2018 02:24

She’s rude AF!

Want2bSupermum · 05/04/2018 02:25

I live in the US and if anyone spoke to me like that they wouldn't be working for me much longer. Extremely rude and unacceptable.

Sunflowersforever · 05/04/2018 02:39

In the nicest way OP, but you need to ask this? She sounds self centred, ego driven and a prize CF.

Maybe you should get someone to help with your recruitment as the fact you were even entertaining thus candidate is alarming.

Original poster

beclev24 · 05/04/2018 03:05

Glad it's not just me!
No- English is definitely her first language. We do live in the US (they are generally a bit more direct here, but this still seemed rude to me.) . I was a bit put out when she said she couldn't remember replyign to my ad but it perhaps isn't quite as bad as it sounds, as she had only marked herself as 'interested' on the site for the job, rather than filling out an application or similar, which I think people do for quite a lot of jobs and doesn't mean a huge amount.

I would definitely pay for a trial day, but this was a short interview. Glad it's not just me that thought it was rude! I hate to be a stingy or unreasonable employer but it looks as though I def dodged a bullet!

OP posts:

Ineke · 05/04/2018 03:24

I am a nanny. It works both ways in my opinion, I would insist on meeting the children first and the family too, before I decided if it was right for me should I be offered the job. I would not expect to be paid for an interview, sounds ridiculous, who ever gets paid to attend an interview! But a paid trial period where both sides can decide one way or the other. Any parent would want to meet the person that they were entrusting the care of their children to.

Aquamarine1029 · 05/04/2018 03:37

I hope you wouldn't even consider having this nut job care for your child.

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