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AIBU?

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Original poster

is this rude from potential nanny?

95 replies

beclev24 · 05/04/2018 01:31

I put an ad on a job site for a part time nanny. I invited one woman to come for an i/v on Friday. She replied that she couldn't remember responding to my job ad and if I wanted her to come for an interview I would need to pay her. otherwise she would talk to me on the phone for free. I had never heard of this before, but maybe it's common??

Then we were going back and forth about the timing of the interview/ phonecall. in hte course of these texts she said she was working with antoehr family a couple of blocks away from me today. So I asked if she wanted to stop by our place after she finished for 15 mins to meet me/ the kids. She replied "

No. I do not want to come to your house for 15 mins. I have been working with a two year old since 8.30am. I have plans with my boyfriend tonight. I can talk on the phone briefly.

This felt a bit abrasive and rude for someone trying to get a job? I thought she could have just said- sorry I'm busy tonight, can we try for Friday or whatever. So I told her htat I didint' think . it would work out. Was I unreasonable ? i'm a good and generous employer generally but don't like bad 'attitude'. Was I unreasonable? Generally curious.

OP posts:
Cavender · 05/04/2018 03:41

I would have never even got as far as a discussion about visiting today.

I’d ceased communicating with her after she asked to be paid for an interview. Confused

thebewilderness · 05/04/2018 03:49

That does not sound like a person you want to trust your children to.

NoKnownFather · 05/04/2018 04:33

Sheesh!! would you want someone like that being in charge of your children? No way would I want her anywhere near them! She's more than cheeky!!! gosh!!!

Pengggwn · 05/04/2018 04:45

Sorry but I laughed when I read that message. It reminded me of that poem by Dennis O'Driscoll: No Thanks. 'No, I don't want to drop over for a meal on my way home from work.'

I'm trying to see this from her perspective. She didn't actually apply for the job, and she had been working all day already. I can kind of see it. It's more like you headhunting her than it is you interviewing her.

She still sounds rude.

mathanxiety · 05/04/2018 05:11

I am in the US too, and that is rude and unreasonable, and also very tone deaf as to how she is coming across, for someone who has her details on what I presume is a nanny employment board.

If it's any of the nanny/care boards I am familiar with presumably it's one where you can post feedback/reviews of people with their particulars posted?

She sounds burned out and frustrated. You are lucky to have been given this insight into her before exposing your DC to her.

Onceuponatimethen · 05/04/2018 05:30

Definitely not an employee I would want. Imagine the ‘feedback’ you would get about your home, your kids and contractual aspects like holidays, pay rise demands!!

tiyuga · 05/04/2018 05:34

This reply has been deleted

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BarbaraofSevillle · 05/04/2018 06:04

What others have said, but could it also be possible that she's registered with the job site and it's them who's sent you her details without her knowledge, eg you ask for a nanny, they have someone nearby on their books and they send you her details without her involvement?

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 05/04/2018 06:07

Horribly rude! No way do you want this person near your kids.

UnicornRainbowColours · 05/04/2018 06:47

She sounds rude, I’m a nanny and not once have I have asked for payment to attend a job interview. A trial yes but not an interview. I would suggest she’s not for your family and move on.

DeathStare · 05/04/2018 06:53

she had only marked herself as 'interested' on the site for the job, rather than filling out an application

So she hadn't applied for the job then.

From her point of view someone contacted her about a job that she didn't particularly want, she then made it pretty clear that she wasn't interested and you continued to chase her.

I think this has just been a big misunderstanding but I can understand why she was rude. I suspect she feels as though she is being headhunted for a that she thinks she's made it clear that she's not interested in.

In future I wouldn't contact anyone unless they actually apply

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 05/04/2018 07:04

It’s a no brainer Grin

user1483387154 · 05/04/2018 07:17

Do not touch her with a barge pole. .... as a qualified nanny myself I find her texts extremely rude

Glug44 · 05/04/2018 07:22

So you cold called her for a job? I think you deserved it really. I’d be pissed off by this too.

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 05/04/2018 07:36

Another one who can't believe you need to ask. Why would you even consider employing someone who is clearly rude and not remotely motivated to work for you?

T2517 · 05/04/2018 07:39

I’m a nanny and would never expect payment for an interview! A trail day yes but not an interview! Her attitude is unbelievable, she’s obviously been allowed to behave like that but she’s struggle to find work if she really needed it!

ForlornWanderer · 05/04/2018 07:44

DeathStare
From her point of view someone contacted her about a job that she didn't particularly want, she then made it pretty clear that she wasn't interested and you continued to chase her. I think this has just been a big misunderstanding but I can understand why she was rude. I suspect she feels as though she is being headhunted for a that she thinks she's made it clear that she's not interested in

Even if she wasn't interested in the job, all she needed to say was 'thanks for getting in touch but I'm not interested', it's not exactly hard and why on earth would she continue the conversation about interviews? There really isn't any excuse to be that rude, whether the op technically headhunted her or not.

Wdigin2this · 05/04/2018 07:54

Wow, it must be an employees market in the nanny business!

hibbledibble · 05/04/2018 07:55

That's very odd. I have never heard of being paid to attend an interview before. You did the right thing to cut contact.

OliviaStabler · 05/04/2018 07:56

From her point of view someone contacted her about a job that she didn't particularly want, she then made it pretty clear that she wasn't interested and you continued to chase her.

How did she make it clear? What she should have said is, 'So sorry, I am no longer looking for work' and politely end the call.

Missingstreetlife · 05/04/2018 09:02

Could pay travel expenses but not for interview time.

Ivorbig1 · 05/04/2018 09:35

Really, you have to ask if this behaviour is normal?
Do you demand to be paid for attending interviews?

Original poster
beclev24 · 05/04/2018 15:01

penggwyn and those saying that I 'headhunted her' and 'chased her'- in the email where she said that she couldn't remember replying, she also asked me for more details of the job. I responded telling her hours/ rates etc. She replied with a "yes I am interested in this job" polite and seemingly enthusiastic text and asked when we could talk on the phone. we went back and forth on the phonecall thing for a bit and then I suggested she pop round. That was when she sent the rude text.

Sorry if this is a drip feed-

OP posts:
hibbledibble · 05/04/2018 15:06

Op posters are often obtuse on aibu. Don't take it personally.

I would thank your lucky stars that you found out what this nanny was like at an early stake. If she has this much attitude before the interview, you can only imagine what she is like as an employee.

Jamiefraserskilt · 05/04/2018 15:12

Unless you want your kids coming in with that attitude, forget her.