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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask people to stop commenting on what's in my shopping basket

90 replies

Octave777 · 05/04/2018 00:42

I get the odd comment here and there which doesn't bother me but the last week it's every time I'm shopping.

I've been binging over easter and I get 'wow are those easter eggs all for you' or 'gosh you like your chocolate' from strangers in the queue.

Today I had a man say 'was I stockpiling easter eggs.' I just laughed. Then he said 'I'd love to buy all those. But I don't want to get fat. You don't have to worry though but just be careful'.

Then the cashier says 'Are they all for you?' 'I say I'm just making the most of the discount and he says, 'I've never seen anyone buy so many for themselves... wow.. haha... where do you put it... wow.' He kept laughing.

Would it be unreasonable to tell the next cashier to say something 'I am gonna puke it all up'. I feel cashiers need to get awareness of bulimia?

I know I'm being sensitive but find easter really hard and would love to be brutally honest. Might stop them doing it to someone else. Or is that too much!!

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 05/04/2018 07:16

This shit happens all the time?
I have been shopping since I left home in 1988, and that is not my observation.

Notproudofthisone · 05/04/2018 07:35

Who on earth would assume they’re all for you!? As a cashier I would have assumed they were for family. No one cares what’s in you trolley but we’re paid to talk to you, and we can’t say to every customer “shit weather isn’t it” we’re sat there for 10 hours!!!!

JennyOnAPlate · 05/04/2018 07:46

I think this thread is the op's way of working out what others might think when they see her trolley full of Easter eggs.

Have you got real life support in place op?

JingsMahBucket · 05/04/2018 08:21

I kind of find people’s insistent focus on her bulimia condescending, especially when she even said it was about other (male) shoppers snidely commenting.

himalayansalt · 05/04/2018 08:50

What is this thread about if not about op's bulimia? Confused

jellycat1 · 05/04/2018 09:10

If I saw you buying a ton of eggs I'd assume you were giving them as presents. It wouldn't cross my mind you had bulimia and I'm sure it would t cross random strangers' minds - particularly men. I find people do like to make small talk like that and they probably just think they're being charming even if we might find it annoying. I really wouldn't let it add any more to your anxiety or other issues.

LadyTesticlee · 05/04/2018 09:18

Id never think youre eating them all id be thinking sharing but i know from past experience if you are obese some will think that and arseholes will blurt it out.

JingsMahBucket · 05/04/2018 09:36

@himalayansalt it’s about other people in the store snidely commenting.

formerbabe · 05/04/2018 09:39

God, people are so over sensitive. I'd have just had a little joke with them and forgotten about it. I like a bit of banter with fandoms...or would everyone on here prefer to live in a society where no one says anything to anyone for fear of offending people.

formerbabe · 05/04/2018 09:41

*randoms not fandoms...wtf!

jellycat1 · 05/04/2018 09:44

jings the point that people are questioning is whether they are really snidey comments. From what the OP has said it sounds like she is ostensibly a healthy weight and so people saying 'where do you put it' and similar are, imo, not being snidey at all. Just trying (and failing a bit) to be funny. That's why her eating disorder is of course, relevant.

WorraLiberty · 05/04/2018 09:45

One guy the other day when I was looking at the healthy ready meals was going on about women and how there shouldn't worry about eating healthy and how he'd tell me if I needed to diet. Another at the protein bar section said what was I doing buying protein bars and I need to work out more as I haven't got enough muscle. It just seems all the time!

All of that on top of the 5 or 6 comments about your Easter eggs? Confused

That's so very unusual OP that I wouldn't worry about ever having a few days like that again. There's probably more chance of the sun freezing over.

formerbabe · 05/04/2018 09:46

I think it's important to remember that random people have no idea about you or your life...they'd make those comments to anyone, it's not personal.

amusedbush · 05/04/2018 09:47

I have binge eating disorder and have had comments when buying a binge. Things like "wow, someone's having a munch in front of the telly tonight!". BED is embarrassing enough without having stupid comments from someone at the checkout.

I'm so grateful for self check out.

caribari72 · 05/04/2018 09:49

I'm overweight and my 15yo has been diagnosed with Anorexia.

The rudeness of people at the supermarket has completely shocked me.
My conveyor belt is an array of full-fat items and high calorie foods my DD needs to be healthy again.

I'm sure I imagined a few wide-eyed looks but I couldn't mistake the guy whi dramatically "cleared his throat", pointed at my shopping then pointed at my body then raised his eyes.

Why should I have to justify or explain anything to anybody?

OP : just say "how rude of you to comment"

WorraLiberty · 05/04/2018 09:53

I like a bit of banter with fandoms...or would everyone on here prefer to live in a society where no one says anything to anyone for fear of offending people.

Probably...and then they can start threads about how aloof the Brits are and how they never make conversation with strangers.

Difficult one to win.

OneStepSideways · 05/04/2018 09:57

Sometimes people are making banter, other times they're being inquisitive or rude. I used to get it when buying a trolley full of baby food jars, people asking 'how many babies are you feeding?' Or informing me it's healthier to make my own!

DelurkingAJ · 05/04/2018 10:02

I found it happened a lot when I was much younger and living in London...one chap then told me that it was just a way of starting a conversation with someone and how was he going to meet people otherwise...so maybe that affects it? If you’re youngish, attractive etc. then you may get more comments. Somehow these dried up when I hit about 30 :)

MoistCantaloupe · 05/04/2018 10:02

I have never had anyone comment on what is in my basket - in fact, when I was bulimic I did the exact opposite. I would say 'I AM HAVING A PARTY' to the cashier when they hadn't even said anything to me - or I would buy candles etc - these are horrible memories.

The comments are affecting you more because you're very sensitive to them. Hope you are getting help OP?

PrettyLittIeThing · 05/04/2018 10:14

This has never happened to me there was also not one single egg in my local huge tesco or sainsburys when I went hoping to get them all half price on Easter Monday. Where do you live?!

HoneyBadger32 · 05/04/2018 10:22

why are they assuming they are all for you, i bought eight Easter eggs at once for my nephews and nieces and no one suggested I was going to gorge on them. I also think if you want to eat a lot of chocolate a bar is cheaper and less conspicuous than an Easter egg.

Gide · 05/04/2018 10:24

Try Tesco Express, lots in there yesterday.

I find it unbelievable, sorry, OP, a step too far, that someone would come up and say they’d tell you if you needed to lose weight.

This sounds like a cry for help. There’s lots of good advice on here, OP. Take it.

soupforbrains · 05/04/2018 10:25

@MOOpied that made me actually burst out laughing at my desk! haha I can totally imagine accidentally saying something like that too!

PennyPIckle · 05/04/2018 10:37

I picked up 54 Easter eggs for a children’s party. Nobody gave a fuck what was in my trolley. If anyone had commented I would have assumed they were making small talk and wouldn’t have given it a second thought.

Some people seem to get offended over nothing. Either smile politely and take other peoples comments in the way they were intended or If something said really offends you just give a death stare and flounce!

RitaMills · 05/04/2018 10:42

Can’t say I’ve ever had comments like that and I’ve been bulimic over half my life so have bought a fair few basket full of snacks. I tend to agree with PP about those supposed comments you get are what you perceive people must be thinking. I do it too I constantly think people know what I’m up to but it’s just my own guilt and disgust with myself making me think that. I also volunteer the information that I’m having a party or friends over, I use self service checkouts when possible now.